Eisenstern 2.2
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Cynemaer and I’s birthday came much quicker than I was hoping it would.
By some miracle, I passed biology, and I also passed all my other classes, and graduated from high school. It was probably mostly with Avery’s help. That girl’s a genius, and I’m sort of ashamed to admit that I asked her for help a lot. But then, maybe that’s not so bad. Dad would say something like, at least you’re using your resources, or something. Which is… smart, I guess.
I still have plenty of doubts about being heir, but dad’s words about not being able to learn to be a good person, it’s at least stuck with me. And I keep reminding myself that anything I’m not good at, I can only try and get better. Maybe that’s what it means to do your best.
Avery and I have just, clicked. It’s so weird how well she gets me. Funny enough, I told her that I used to be male, and she didn’t seem surprised at all, and she doesn’t treat me any differently. Some of the other kids, once they figure that out, they get weird around me.
It’s like they’ve convinced themselves I’m just pretending to be female so I can get into their locker rooms or something. I mean, I think I still like girls (I definitely like Avery…) but that’s just a really weird way of trying to get a date. There are easier, and more legal ways, like, I don’t know, asking a girl out for drinks sometime? … well, coffee, considering we’re still-well I guess I’m not a teenager anymore.
Huh. I can drink.
Weird.
Kaylie’s over a lot now. Avery is too, and eventually I just asked her to move in. She said yes, and seems to really like Kaylie too. She also gets along really well with Freya. (Freya and I are the last two Eisensterns left in the house, and it’s weird, but Freya doesn’t seem terribly heartbroken about it.) I am because I overthink things and panic a lot.
Everything’s gotta be just right, you know? And if something isn’t right then I have to fix it. And this? This isn’t right. It’s weird.
Apparently, though, I did dad’s ramen recipe justice. Freya tried it one evening and said she couldn’t tell it wasn’t some of dad’s leftover ramen from when he still lived here. I took that as a huge compliment. Like, a huge compliment.
I’m getting better at cooking.
I also picked up the guitar.
I’m really bad at that, too, but like dad said, I can learn. I’m getting the hang of it a little at a time, though it’s not as quickly as I’d like. I’m also trying to learn to be kinder to myself, and maybe it’s a good thing to be learning.
I wonder if Avery and I could have kids together? Is that a weird thing to wonder? We could adopt, I suppose, but that seems counterproductive when you’re a legacy… leader person (what are those called? Right, heir). I’ve heard carrying a baby is a really big deal and rough, so if I could I’d do it, but I don’t think I work that way.
Then again, science. Who knows? I guess I gotta give her the ring first.
(There’s no ring. I’m kidding. Really.)
I’m also learning magic better. Or trying to, at least. I’m still no good at magic, but I mean, I’m related to two of the most powerful untamed spellcasters in the history of magic, so maybe the inability to control my magic is just a logical outcome here.
I’m not sure I want to be as strong as dad and auncle Morgyn are, though. I’m certainly not gunning for a sage position anytime soon (goodness I’d be terrible at that too). But, it might be nice to be able to cast a couple of spells. Mostly the ones in the practical branch, not the untamed one. I know untamed magic is kind of the Eisenstern Thing, but um, realistically it’s entirely useless when you’re raising a legacy.
I mean, unless you frequently have to strike fear into the hearts of men.
You know, untamed magic in the wrong hands could be… quite a bit of something. Oh man. See, this must be what dad was talking about when he mentioned ‘raising the next generation right.’ I was like, “What?” and now I think I get it. Power like ours, it’s easy to misuse it. And there are probably going to be people outside the family that also want to misuse it, or at least con some of us into misusing it.
Ugh, I’m going to get paranoid again.
Dad often calls. I find it’s nice to have the touchstone of a familiar voice on the phone, and I look forward to his calls. It’d be nice to see him more, but he and father are having a good time out in Sulani, and I don’t see why my paranoia should be more important than them getting their well-deserved retirement.
Sometimes I still just feel really lost, but hearing dad’s voice, it makes things easier to think through. Like my mind sharpens a little just hearing him.
If he ever does go away, I get the feeling I’ll be pretty darn lost.
I’ve managed to master enough magic to successfully cast scruberoo on the kitchen counters from time to time. And Freya, Kaylie, and Avery tell me that my cooking’s getting better. I guess dad was right, and I’ll get better at whatever it is I’m trying for. It just takes time and a little bit of stubbornness, but the good news is, an Eisenstern is never lacking in either.
I’ve been making a lot of vegetarian dishes now that Avery’s moved in, and she says that even my tofu meals are good! Apparently it’s a little tricksy to make tofu taste good? Or she thinks so, at least. Not so sure that’d be universally true.
I’m just glad I’ve not made her sick. I hear vegetarians get sick when they eat meat. That seems weird to me, but I guess it’s a body weird thing, or your body isn’t used to meat anymore and stops being sure what to do with it, or, something.
There’s a reason I’m a musician and not a scientist. Science is definitely dad’s thing, not mine.
I’ve also figured out how to do the laundry! Fortunately, dad thought to work on most of the appliances in the house before he left, and everything’s upgraded and the dryer won’t catch fire if you look at it weird!
Avery and Freya try to help keep up with the laundry, and wash the dishes and whatnot, but I’m just always staring at these things like “Why isn’t this clean?” and “When was the last time anyone washed this?” Avery always gives me this weird withering look when I get on a cleaning frenzy, but I like the house spotless! Is that weird? Maybe it’s weird.
Somehow, though, she manages to tolerate me pretty well, and we’ve made it to the next step in our relationship. I’m happy about it, but I keep waiting for something to go wrong. So far, nothing has, and she seems happy too. I guess I’ve never outright asked, but I like to think if something in our relationship wasn’t working, she’d talk to me.
That was how my parents always managed. Though a lot of those conversations were had behind closed doors where we kids weren’t, we were always slightly aware of how much they talked, and it was usually about them, and the house, the finances, us kids, the legacy… there’s never been a time when we didn’t know we were a legacy family, whatever that meant.
I’m not sure if I want my kids to know the same way. Knowledge is power, they say, and forewarned is forearmed? Is that how that saying goes? Well, Avery’s far smarter than I am, so when the time comes, maybe I’ll ask her what she thinks, and we’ll make that decision together.
Yeah. I like that.
Things got a little… steamy. And, I knew Freya could hear it. And Freya knew I knew she could hear it. And we just pretended neither of us knew that.
That was one of the most awkward conversations I’ve ever had with my little sister ever. Well, she and Kaylie are awfully close too, and I also pretend I don’t know about that. I wonder if they could have kids? Kaylie’s an alien, their biology would be different right?
You know what, nope.
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