Chapter 0.13
“What all have you been reading?” Morgyn hadn’t gone away, like Cassandra had half expected, but she was thankful for that. Most likely, she was going to have to make friends with the Sages, because each of them had things she could learn from them that the others couldn’t teach.
She smiled slightly, and then tapped one of the book covers. “This one’s the history of Magic Realm,” she said. “These are about magical plants, and then this one’s about the Five Families.”
Morgyn seemed surprised. “I’d figure your parents would be teaching you these things.”
Cassandra turned her head down, and seemed saddened, but she simply shrugged one shoulder. “They’re busy,” she said.
“I see,” Morgyn said. A moment passed in silence. “Oh, how did the negotiations with Circe go?”
Right, she supposed the Sages wouldn’t know about that. They wouldn’t know her father had been more or less killed by that vampire. Her being a vampire now was fitting, because Cassandra saw her as a parasite. But still her mother believed the best in her until the very end, and so too was that fitting. Her mother wouldn’t want Cassandra to kill her, but frankly, that was exactly what she wanted to do. Her hands curled into fists for a moment, and then relaxed. “She declined,” Cassandra said. “Circe doesn’t have any interest in returning.”
That was, of course, what she said, but Morgyn didn’t exactly buy it. On the other hand, they didn’t know one another very well for the Sage to call her on it, either, so Morgyn didn’t say anything about that directly. “Well, maybe she’ll change her mind later,” Morgyn said.
“Maybe,” Cassandra said. She wasn’t terribly interested in talking about Circe. “So, my mother says my magic is dormant, and I need a Sage to activate it. Could I convince you to?”
Morgyn smiled. “Sure, move over this way for me though. I need more space. And you’re going to want it, too. I don’t imagine you enjoy smacking into tables.”
Cassandra snorted softly. “I’m not fond of it, no,” she said, shuffling away from the table a bit. Morgyn backed up, gesturing for her where she should be, and then there was light and colour everywhere. Streams of magic slid around her, lifting her off the floor, and the sensation made her giddy somehow. It was like she’d always known magic, and now she really knew it, and that probably wasn’t far from the truth. She smiled a little to herself, as the tendrils of light put her back down.
“That should do it,” Morgyn said.
“That’s it?” Cassandra asked. It seemed a little too easy, if one was asking her. “No epic quests to go save a princess from a tower and slay a dragon?”
Morgyn laughed. “No, no saving princesses or slaying dragons. Though if you want, you could probably set up a good mimicry of it with magic.”
“That sounds like fun,” Cassandra said. “I’ll have to figure out how to handle magic in general first, though. So…. how do I use magic?”
Morgyn couldn’t help the surprised blink. Apparently Mortimer and Bella weren’t teaching Cassandra much of anything. “Your parents didn’t get to that either?” Morgyn asked.
“Unfortunately not,” she said. “They seem to think I should be here and make magical friends and whatever.” That seemed like a good excuse to her, and something her mother might just say. Cassandra wasn’t interested in explaining anything to a stranger.
“That’s not a half bad idea, for sure,” Morgyn said, thinking. “Well, we’ll start with the basics, then. You can sense it, right? Magic?”
“I sensed your magic a moment ago,” Cassandra said. “Does that count?”
“Sure,” Morgyn answered. “But now you have to learn what your magic feels like. Only you can figure that out, I can’t tell you. Magic feels different to everyone, anyway. It might feel like warm fuzzies to me, but to someone else, it may feel like a glacier.”
Cassandra nodded, then, trying to think. How did one go finding something they didn’t know what was? She frowned, more to herself, focusing. Well, magic was often colourful and bright, right? Maybe she was looking for a spark, or something like that. How did this usually work in the stories and movies? She squinted at the tiled wall, for a moment, and then one of the tiles shattered. And then three more shattered down the row, and Cassandra looked stunned.
“Well,” Morgyn said, looking amused. “I’d say you found it. Now you have to draw it to the surface, so that you can consciously control it.”
“I didn’t mean to break the -“
“Oh it’s fine,” Morgyn said. “Repairio.” There was a slight burst of golden light, and the broken tiles instantly reconnected back together. It was like they’d never broken at all.
“… I guess when you do magic, breaking things isn’t a problem…” Cassandra said.
Morgyn laughed. “No, it’s not.”
“Bring the magic to the surface, huh?” she asked, tilting her head.
“Like this,” Morgyn said, hands waving over each other, and a swirl of blue light forming a sphere. It was one of the first things spellcasters learnt to do, and it would be the first thing Cassandra learnt to do, as well.
Cassandra blinked once. “You make that look so easy.”
“Of course,” Morgyn said. “But I have many years of practise. You don’t become a Sage overnight, of course. Go on. Give it a try.”
Cassandra looked a bit unsure, but after a moment, her eyebrows furrowed together, her jaw set, and she waved her hands in the same way Morgyn had. And it was in that moment that Morgyn saw just how much willpower Cassandra Goth truly had, and perhaps the truth of her potential. She failed the first time, but then she made an annoyed sound, and tried again. That time, her magic came rushing out of her fingertips, forming a very wobbly, but powerful sphere of magical energy. Morgyn would be surprised, if that hadn’t been expected. A girl with blood from four of the Five Families would be powerful.
“Good,” Morgyn said, nodding. “There’s a little too much force behind it, however.” Morgyn lazily snapped two fingers together, and the blue sphere shattered into sparks. “Try it again.” It would seem Cassandra was shaping up to be a very quick learner, and perhaps more powerful than Morgyn had been expecting. Morgyn would have to teach her properly and well, because Cassandra Goth could become a greater threat to Magic Realm than five thousand Circes.
* * *
It was quiet here. Cassandra found herself able to hear herself think much easier, and the weight of her father’s missing presence was gone, too. It was easier to think, easier to breathe. Easier to sort out what it was she felt and come to terms with how things had drastically changed. Cassandra missed her father dearly, but also knew that she couldn’t sit down and just be sad. Being so depressed for most of her teenage years, it put things into perspective for her in a way that was unlikely to happen to those with less experience with depression. It didn’t really make anything easier, but she understood her own pain, at least.
Morgyn was turning out to be a very good teacher, even if Cassandra wasn’t sure if she could ever learn to do what needed to be done. Would Circe someday hunt her and Alexander down? She wondered. How far would Circe go to see her desires manifested? To cause pain for the Goth family?
This was what he meant. When Mortimer had told her to change her last name, this was what he warned her about it for. Because there were some people that were after her just because of her last name, and something that had happened before she was even born, or she was very young. How many others were there that were like Circe? That hated her just because of her name and something that happened so long ago nobody really remembered the truth of it anymore?
Cassandra sighed. She was sitting on the back steps of magic HQ, taking a break from training with Morgyn. She wasn’t sure what she had been expecting. Maybe some more intrigue and a few more dragons, some secret passageways. Maybe there were a few of the latter, she just hadn’t found them yet. A lot of kids dreamed of places where magic existed, dreamed of being able to do magic, but Cassandra had never been one of them. She just wanted a normal life, for once, and no thanks to this Circe Toledo, now that was gone. Her father was gone, her peaceful family life shattered, Alexander would never be the same, and maybe neither would she. And for what? Power?
Her gaze fell to her lap. A tapping sound came from one side, and she looked up to find Morgyn settling down on the steps beside her.
“You’re in high school then, huh?” Morgyn asked.
Cassandra nodded. “My last year,” she answered.
“What will you do after?”
“I thought about college,” Cassandra said. “But anymore I think I won’t bother.” Her mother needed her around. Alexander did, too, but there was a small part of her that wondered if, in embracing her magical roots, and trying to undo whatever it was Circe had done, she’d inevitably be dragging danger to them. Bella said it herself; she wasn’t the caster that Mortimer was, which meant Circe would be aware that Bella, at least, was as a sitting duck. Cassandra didn’t know if Circe knew about her and Alexander. Maybe it didn’t matter in the end. She’d find out soon enough, that was for sure.
“Why?” Morgyn asked. “College is usually a big help.”
“Not anymore,” Cassandra said. “You can get where college degrees can get you on your own, if you’re willing to fight for it, and I’ve never gotten anything I didn’t fight for to some extent. People think, oh there’s Cassandra Goth, her parents are so rich and famous she must have a silver spoon in her mouth, but my parents didn’t raise me that way. I got what I needed, sure, but what I wanted? That was another story.” And things weren’t always so easy. When she was much younger, she remembered a time when even getting what they needed was difficult. They’d persevered, and made it through, and now they were relatively well off.
Cassandra never forgot that time. She didn’t want to end up the exact spoilt girl everyone was expecting her to be. If ever she had children, she wouldn’t raise them that way, either, even if they did have money.
“That’s true,” Morgyn said. “You’re pretty down to earth, I think. You got that much down.”
Cassandra snorted softly. “Money’s no substitute for common sense and courtesy.”
Morgyn laughed slightly, nodding. “That is very true.” The more they interacted, the more Morgyn thought they could easily get along. Of course, Bella was one of Morgyn’s closest friends, once, and maybe it wasn’t surprising to be able to get along so well with her daughter. There was something Cassandra wasn’t saying, though. Morgyn could see it in her eyes, but truth be told, the Sage was almost afraid to ask. Eyes like those didn’t hide just anything. Whatever it was in her heart, maybe Morgyn didn’t need to know just yet.
“Have you been to Caster’s Alley?” Morgyn asked.
“I assume that’s what the shops that way are called,” Cassandra said. “I have.”
“Good. Back there, you’ll find the portal to the duelling grounds,” Morgyn explained. “Most duels can take place here at headquarters, if you’re just practising, but many prefer to head to the grounds. There’s a bit more room up there, and you’re less likely to catch others up in the battle.”
Cassandra frowned slightly. “Wouldn’t you also have an increased risk of getting flung off the side?”
Morgyn laughed. “Well, sure, but there’s a nifty little spell called teleportalate. It will instantly transport you somewhere else. After some practise, you can cast it even amid free-fall.”
Cassandra didn’t think that sounded very good, but whatever Morgyn said. “If you say so.”
“I do,” Morgyn replied, nodding. “The other portal over there, it goes to the conservatory. Most of it’s been destroyed by the Vortex, but you might yet be able to find a couple magical plants and perhaps some frogs still clinging to the vestiges of what used to be a vast garden.”
She turned that way, to catch sight of bits of glass and metal rising toward the aurora-splashed sky, and then nodded once. “Thank you,” she said.
“You’re welcome,” Morgyn answered. “Ready to go back?”
“Actually, do you know what time it is?” Cassandra asked.
Morgyn blinked, and then glanced around the building. There was a clock tower not far. “Looks like 8:44.”
“At night?!” Cassandra shrieked.
“Yes?” Morgyn answered, sounding confused. “Ooooh, right, young humans need to sleep.”
“Yes,” Cassandra replied. “And I have school in the morning and I haven’t done my homework!”
“School starts on Monday?” Morgyn asked.
“Yes, it does,” Cassandra replied.
“But the week starts on Sunday…”
Cassandra rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you next time I get a chance to come this way.”
“Oh, your Glimmerstone,” Morgyn said, as Cassandra stood up, causing her to pause. “It will activate now, the same way I taught you to make magic spheres.”
Oh. Right, her mother said her stone would’ve brought her here, if she had the magic to activate it with. “I’ll remember,” she said. “Gotta go!”
Cassandra turned around and ran for the portal that led to Glimmerbrook. And Morgyn smiled.
* * *
It was hard to come home.
Some part of her resented that. That it hurt to come home, to return to a house her father wasn’t in, back to all the sadness and grief. It wasn’t as if she didn’t think about it, even when she wasn’t home, but it was easier to pretend nothing was wrong when the gaping hole Mortimer used to be in wasn’t obvious. She wanted things to just go back to the way they’d been before, but she knew and everyone else knew that was never going to happen.
Cassandra trudged to the door, wandering into the entryway. She heard Alexander mumbling to himself in the dining room, probably doing his weekend homework, but she couldn’t hear Bella anywhere.
“Hey kiddo,” Cassandra greeted, settling down into a seat at the dining table.
Alexander smiled, though it was a bit sad. “Welcome back.”
“Thanks. How goes the homework?”
Alexander huffed in annoyance. “Not great,” he said. “I’ve got this problem here…”
It’d been a while since Cassandra had done work of this level, but she remembered just enough to be helpful. Eventually, the two of them got through all the work Alexander had to do that he wasn’t sure about. It was good that he was asking questions. That was part of how a Sim learned, and Cassandra was glad that he hadn’t withdrawn.
The entire time they were talking, though, Cassandra noticed she still didn’t hear Bella.
“Has mom been downstairs today?” she asked.
Alexander shook his head. “No,” he answered. “She’s been in her room all day.”
Cassandra sighed. Of course she had been. What else would Bella be doing other than hiding from everything and pretending she didn’t need to eat? For a moment, Cassandra was annoyed. It was a fleeting emotion, one that came and went just as quickly, but perhaps it was no less valid. Cassandra had her own things to be doing, she couldn’t be spending so much time babysitting Bella.
Sooner or later, Bella would get over it. In the meantime, apparently it fell on her shoulders to make sure things still got done and Cassandra was somewhat over it already. When she had no choice but to keep moving in the wake of her father’s loss, when she hadn’t stopped long enough to feel the weight, it wasn’t so hard. Now, though… now was another story. Her chest squeezed uncomfortably, and her heart threatened to implode into itself, and maybe that was how things were supposed to be, but she didn’t want to feel it. She didn’t want to know what it felt like to hurt over this.
Yet in the same breath, she knew if she didn’t hurt over it, it’d never stop hurting. As much as she knew this, she didn’t want to deal with it. It was easier to pretend nothing had happened, easier to recoil from the pain and the loss and keep moving because someone around here had to. It wasn’t fair. Not to her, not to Bella. Cassandra stood up.
“If you need more help with your homework, let me know,” she said. “I’m going to go get some food and see if I can get mom to eat.”
“Okay,” Alexander answered. “Hey Cassie?”
“Yeah?”
“You’re doing great. Thank you for doing stuff mom’s supposed to.”
Cassandra smiled softly, but she could feel the sharp sting of tears behind her eyes. “That’s what family does,” she said. “Take care of each other.”
“I know,” Alex replied. “But you’re also a kid too, kind of, and you’re taking care of us a lot now.” It just seemed right to him, that he thank her, because she didn’t have to put her own sadness aside for them. He could tell, in some strange way, that the burden was getting to her already, but then it made sense. It wasn’t like Alexander could do what she was doing. He’d have fallen apart already.
“I guess so,” Cassandra answered. Then, she gave Alex one more strained smile, and ducked into the kitchen to see about getting Bella to eat. It was easier, though, wasn’t it? Taking care of them wasn’t as altruistic as it seemed like, not as selfless as people would claim it was. It was just a convenient excuse not to deal with her own pain. And yet, that wouldn’t work forever, would it?
