Chapter 51: I Wanna Be Sure

Waiting For a Girl Like You, Foreigner

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He could get used to waking up like this. Who was he kidding, he probably was used to waking up like this. The sunlight streaming through the windows, the birds chirping, the sound of the city somewhere in the background, and her heartbeat against his ear, mixing with her breaths. Her hair was so frizzy, but he loved every little kinky strand of it. The way the light sparkled in her eyes, instead of just vanishing in their dark depths.

He didn’t mind his own eye colour, but he thought he loved the sparkle of hers a lot more. Maybe just because they were her eyes.

Ezio stayed right where he was, arms wrapped around her, his head lying against her chest. She’d wake up eventually, the day would officially begin, and they’d have to separate, but right now, he was going to enjoy being so close to her. So much had been going on recently, they didn’t have a lot of time for a lot of things, for each other. He and Drake didn’t either, but she was the more pressing one, so when he’d gotten back from dealing with Caleb’s momentary loss of brain function, he’d brought her flowers and reminded her that he did care about her.

He didn’t want to use the dread L word, not yet. Someday, maybe somewhat soon, he’d be ready to, but right now he wasn’t. And unlike him, she was small and fragile and very human.

Cassandra’s breathing shifted, and one hand moved through his hair. Then, she took a breath in, and looked down at him. Ezio tilted his head up to look at her. Something in her eyes made his brows furrow, one hand unburying from beneath her to brush her hair out of her face.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She shrugged a shoulder. “Nothing in particular,” she said.

Ah, she was just sad for some reason. He’d figured out some time ago she had depression, and he didn’t mind it because of what it was, it was more because he didn’t always know how to make it better.

“Do you want to be alone?” he asked. Sometimes she needed to be alone and parse it on her own.

She shook her head. “No,” she said. “Just sitting like this is making it a little better.”

“Okay,” he answered, shifting around to look at her properly.

“I’m sorry,” she said, raising a hand to brush against his cheek.

“Why?” he asked.

“This is stupid and you shouldn’t have to deal with it,” Cassandra answered, her eyes narrowing slightly.

Ezio shook his head, reaching up and taking her hand, kissing the palm. “I knew what I was getting into with this before we started dating,” he said. “And I’d rather be here if you need me.”

“You have more important things to do,” she said.

Ezio smiled. “Nothing that can’t wait,” he said. “You’re more important. And sweet,” he kissed her palm again, “and kind,” and a kiss to the back of her hand, “and gentle,” trailing kisses up her arm, “and likely way too patient with my stupidity somehow, Cassie, there’s nowhere I’d rather be than right here.”

Cassandra smiled faintly, threading her fingers through Ezio’s. He hadn’t let her hand go anyway. “Drake?” she asked.

Ezio shook his head. “He got me all to himself the other day,” he said. “Now it’s your turn.”

She went quiet, eyes turning to the window.

Ezio frowned slightly. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asked. “Drake and everything.”

Cassandra looked back at him, seeming a bit confused. “I’m not upset by it,” she said. “You’re happy, or you seem to be. Isn’t that the important part?”

“I’d like you two to also be happy,” Ezio said.

“He means a lot to you,” Cassandra said. “I can see that. I don’t think this is how relationships normally work, but none of us is exactly normal anyway. You’re not mistreating me, or making me feel like you favour one of us over the other, though you logically should. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me so much. You make me happy.”

Ezio breathed out. “Okay then,” he said, smiling slightly.

“Besides,” she said, “you two are adorable together. He makes you light up in a way that I don’t think I do.”

Ezio snorted softly. “Trust me,” he said, “you do it too, just in a different way.” But that was to be expected. The way he felt for her wasn’t, and shouldn’t be, the same as how he felt for Drake. Ezio didn’t think he could love someone the way he loved Drake ever again, but he also didn’t think he’d ever love someone the way he loved her, either.

Ahem, liked. He wasn’t using the dread L word.

She smiled slightly, but a little brighter than she had the last time, and shifted up to kiss him. Ezio smiled into it, returning it, and then he took her hand in his again and laid down on her shoulder.

Idly, her other hand took to tracing the scars on his shoulder. He had a lot of those, and she’d definitely seen all of them. It was inevitable that she’d become curious at some point, he knew that.

He just liked to pretend they weren’t there. It was hard to do that when people kept asking about them.

“What are these from, anyway?” she asked quietly. “You have so many of them.”

Ezio looked up at her, then raised his head and kissed her shoulder. “Ask me again, later,” he said. “And maybe then I’ll be able to tell you. But I don’t think I can yet.”

“Okay,” she answered. And then she moved and caught his lips with hers again, but this time, she didn’t quite let him go.

She wasn’t usually a very demanding person, but once in a while, she decided she wanted something, and Ezio was neither able, nor wanted, to resist it. And if she wanted him as much as he wanted her, he definitely wasn’t going to resist.

* * *

He was starting to get a consistent migraine from all the ghost activity they tended to have in Spire. For the most part, the ghosts just minded their own business and left well enough alone, and that was fine enough. It didn’t mean their presence wasn’t starting to strain Ezio’s necromancy capacity. It wasn’t like Ezio had trained it very well. He was a necromancer mostly in name, because while he did know several necromancy spells, probably more than he should, he’d never actually used any of them. The only thing he’d ever done with necromancy was pull spirits out of bodies they didn’t belong in, and most of the time, it was his own.

Thankfully, that didn’t happen so often anymore. He could be glad for that.

Ezio was working on a painting, just something to pass the time, really. It wasn’t supposed to be anything, at least he didn’t think so, but the more he added to it, the more weirdly familiar it seemed. He’d figure it out when it was done, he was sure. In the meantime, he just needed something to do besides go around in circles in his head about Caleb.

He should’ve seen that one coming, being honest about it. For that matter, so should Lilith have seen it coming. Come to think, now Ezio had to wonder if she knew. Well, if she knew, there’d probably be a lot more fighting in Spire than there actually was. Ezio stuck his tongue out, and closed one eye, looking at the canvas. Something was off, but his vision was terrible he guessed, because Ezio had no idea what it was. Hmm.

In the corner, a couple ghosts played chess. The physical pieces were cleared off the table, but they were using ectoplasmic ones, and the energy they were generating had tipped the scales and given him a headache. Maybe that was making it hard to focus, too. It probably was, even. He frowned, slightly, and then went back to painting. Given he had no idea what he was actually painting anyway, maybe he would do better for himself to just let it be whatever it would be.

Well, Ezio had a problem trying to control things that he likely shouldn’t. It wasn’t really a secret.

The sound the brush made against the canvas was interesting to him, though, and he tried not to think about how the painting was coming out, so much as the act of painting in the first place. He tilted his head a little, trying to blend a couple colours together a bit better.

“Hey, Ezio?” Cassandra’s voice came from the doorway.

Ezio looked over at her. “Yeah?”

“Sorry, I was looking for the coffee mug you got me a few weeks ago, have you seen it?” she asked. Her dark eyes glanced over at the chess table, and for a moment, she looked confused, and then realisation seemed to dawn.

Ezio glanced over at the chess table, too, watching the ghosts over there play. He wondered if she could see them, but he didn’t want to ask, either.

His gaze went back to her. “The right side of the cabinet adjacent to the fridge,” he said.

“Oh,” she said. “Thank you. Sorry, you’re busy.”

Ezio shook his head. “Never too busy for you at least.” She seemed to be in a better mood now, too, and he was glad for that. He still wasn’t terribly fond of her being sad, but he did realise that sometimes it would just happen and there wasn’t much for it.

“Thanks,” she said, flushing just a bit pink across her nose, and then she ducked into the kitchen.

Ezio looked amused. But then, if she was drawn to the chess table at all, then there was the high possibility she was sensing something, even if she couldn’t necessarily see them. He glanced over at them again. Neither of them seemed to have noticed anything else going on around them, but these two were relatively old ghosts. He only knew because the energy they gave off was stronger.

The older a ghost was, the more energy it generated, and the stronger it was. The stronger the ghost, the easier it was to see and hear. Ezio was a decently powerful necromancer, even without actively using his necromancy, which he could only tell because he could see newly dead spirits quite well. Glenn had been almost indistinguishable from a living person for him.

If she was even just sensing them, through a binding, she was a very powerful necromancer too. Ezio frowned, setting the paintbrush down in the jar of water. He may not have any choice but to unbind her magic, because if her necromancy was starting to leak through the binding, it was powerful.

Come to think of it, he wondered if he was really the bridge. Keisha sure seemed to believe so, but maybe it wasn’t quite so straight-forward as she’d made it seem. Cassandra may be the bridge, not him. With as much blood from the five families as she had, she had the potential to be a much stronger spellcaster in general than he was, too.

Truth be told, he had no idea if he had the chops to even teach her anything. She might prove to be way too powerful for him to know what to do with. Unfortunately, that meant the only ones that had a glimmer of a hope of being able to teach her were other five families members. The good news was, her parents were still alive, and she could probably have a chat with her ancestors just fine.

Ezio stood up, thinking he might head into the kitchen himself, because some tea or something sounded like a good idea. But as he did so, the room suddenly started to spin. Ezio reached out, leaning against the table with his paints and such on it to regain his balance. It steadied him a little, and then his vision suddenly blurred, and it became difficult to breathe. Shit, not now… the world went black, and he slid off the table and hit the floor, taking half of what was on the table with him.

* * *

The bright side was, he didn’t have a headache in here, wherever here was. Makana said they were in his soul, but he wondered if his soul was even a thing you could get to. Apparently so, because he seemed to be in it.

The darkness was still here. It wasn’t moving anywhere, it was just there, and Ezio had to wonder why that was. He shook his head slightly, readjusting the cloak he was always wearing here to sit properly, and shuffled towards where he knew Makana must be. The faceless child’s giggling soon joined his footfalls, and he released a sigh. It hung in the air as vapour for a moment.

“Still not going to tell me who you are, right?” Ezio asked.

The child giggled, and ran ahead of him.

Ezio released another vapour puff of a sigh, and followed. Makana turned away from the darkness when he got there, smiling at him slightly.

“You’ll understand someday,” she said. “When you’re ready. That time simply isn’t now.”

Ezio tilted his head slightly. He did figure she’d been a bit too quiet recently.

“It’s time to started asking some questions, Ezio,” Makana said.

He frowned just slightly. “I spoke to Keisha,” he said.

“I know you did,” she answered. “And I know what she told you. You’ve been ignoring it, but Ezio, it is so important.”

Ezio went quiet, looking around. The faceless child had jumped off the walkway, into the darkness, and was now ‘swimming’ through it. That was almost cute if the image wasn’t so goddamn creepy (why was it so creepy in his soul, anyway?).

“I’m not sure I want the answers,” Ezio said. “Now, or ever.”

Makana went quiet, turning around to watch the child swimming through the darkness. Her dark eyes twinkled in amusement at watching the scene, and Ezio wasn’t sure how she managed to be so calm about it. Then again, she was dead. Little was terribly unnerving when you were dead, so he heard.

“To be ignorant, is to be chained by that ignorance,” Makana said, turning back to him. “You may have learnt to love your chains, Ezio, but this isn’t entirely about you. You are not the only one this affects. Change does not happen easily. Someone must start it.”

Ezio sighed. Of course not. Things were so much simpler when they were only his to be concerned about. But then, if he was understanding the hints Keisha was dropping, this affected all of magic realm, maybe all of the dimensions at once. Nothing was right.

And just why, exactly, was it his responsibility to put it right, anyway? That wasn’t fair to think, he supposed, but he did have to wonder. Why couldn’t someone else do this? He was fucking dying for crap’s sake, had the dead missed that or something?

“Ezio, you were chosen for a reason,” Makana said. “Yes, you are dying. You have nothing to lose. Except your life, and you’ll lose that anyway.”

Ezio released a sigh, turning away from the puff of vapour. He didn’t think he was supposed to make it much further than this. Something in him just knew it. Whatever this was… he wasn’t going to live to see the end of it, and then what? What if he didn’t get far enough? What if there was still more to do when he was gone? Morgyn couldn’t continue on after him. The blond wouldn’t take his death well, and Ezio knew that. Cassandra wasn’t strong enough just yet and was even easier to damage than he was. Drake wouldn’t have the will, either.

No fucking pressure or any goddamn thing like that.

“I don’t know where to start,” he said, turning to face her. He could feel the frost spreading up his arm. “I have so many questions and no idea where to start asking them. You’re my spirit guide. Guide me.”

Makana breathed out. “The Essairs would know,” she said. “They were there when it happened, and they know the truth. But I don’t know that they will tell you. The book may eventually. But you may do best listening to the dead. They are proof that it happened, because they were there, and it destroyed them, just like it will destroy Morgyn if you don’t stop it.”

“What is ‘it’?” Ezio asked.

“The All, Ezio,” Makana said.

What? Why would the All be a threat to Morgyn? Okay, now he was really confused-

“Cassandra is a spellcaster, whether you like it or not,” Makana said. “You cannot protect her from what she is forever.”

Ezio looked up at her, and then released another puff of vapour.

Makana reached over, taking one of his hands in hers. He glanced down at it; it was starting to freeze solid. “This is how you love,” she said. “By protecting. But you must understand that there are times when protecting is the wrong choice. You cannot be there all of the time. You’re not a god. But you can teach them to protect themselves, instead. Now, go. Before you can’t leave again.”

Ezio sighed again. She was right, and he knew it. He thought that, he clung so hard to others, because he had nothing else. Because he’d lost himself so long ago, that he didn’t know who he was supposed to be anymore, he hadn’t for a long time. Alone, it was so easy to fall into the mindset for him that nothing was real, and it was other people that gave him grounding. Without the touchstone, it started to feel like everything was an illusion and it was all in his head.

He didn’t say anything else, simply turned, and headed back across the walkway. She was also right in that if he stayed too long, he’d end up trapped here, and he wasn’t ready to leave just yet.

* * *

He heard the cars first. Awareness was slow-going, but he was regaining it a little at a time. His hand twitched, and then turned around, feeling the blanket that was draped over him. Something heavy and warm was lying against one side of him, and Ezio wasn’t sure what that was. Then, he realised he smelled her shampoo. Cassandra.

Ezio was so tired. And Makana had given him a bit to think about, more than he wanted, to be honest. He had to wonder who or what exactly had stuck him with this mess, because he really wanted to have a word or a few with whoever it was. He didn’t remember agreeing to any of this, but he supposed the forces that be wouldn’t care if he did or not.

The All was a threat to Morgyn, though… maybe it was a good thing he’d interrupted Morgyn’s bond with it. But if the All was a threat to Morgyn, and it’d been implied more than once that the All wasn’t what the spellcasters liked to say it was, then what the fuck was it?

Ugh, that was for not tired Ezio to worry about.

He drew a breath in, and released it, peeking one eye open. Drake was sitting in a chair by the bed, writing in a notebook. He had them both. Ezio smiled.

“You know,” he said softly, “this isn’t a terrible way of waking up.”

Drake raised his head, and then set his notebook down on the floor, and took Ezio’s hand.

Cassandra clung a little tighter to his arm. “You’re awake!” she said, practically a whisper.

“Yeah,” Ezio said. “I’m awake now. How long was I out?”

Drake shook his head. “Only a day, maybe not even an entire one, technically,” he said. “It is morning at least, and you should eat something.”

Ezio groaned. “I’m so tired,” he said.

“Okay,” Drake said, reaching over with his other hand to pet his hair. “We managed to get your medication to you pretty fast. You took half the table down with you when you passed out. There’s a little paint on the floor still.”

Ezio winced. “Sorry,” he said.

“It’s fine,” Cassandra said, kissing his cheek. “It’s probably for the best, even, you managed to tell us you needed help relatively quickly.”

Drake snorted. “Yeah,” he said. “Take half a table down with you more often, it’s a nice alarm.”

“I’ll try and remember that,” Ezio answered, amused. He moved his arm, wrapping it around Cassandra, and then motioned for Drake to attach to his other side.

Drake didn’t look so sure about that, but he eventually moved up onto the bed, and settled down next to Ezio.

Ezio took a breath in, nuzzling against Drake’s neck. He almost asked about Morgyn, but he and the blond hadn’t spoken in some days now. At least Morgyn had been kind enough to finally let him process his emotions on his own, without interaction with the idiot making everything incidentally worse.

He wasn’t as angry as he used to be. Maybe he could let it go, soon. It didn’t really matter anymore, and letting Aine come between them, now of all times, was probably not the best idea. He didn’t know if Morgyn was ready to really talk about it, though. There were a lot of things about Aine that Morgyn didn’t really know, and Ezio didn’t want to make the blond have to face it if Morgyn wasn’t ready.

But maybe neither of them had the leisure to decide whether they were ready to face something or not. Sometimes, things changed. Ezio wasn’t ready to leave. But he’d have no choice on that one, either.

The three of them were quiet, for a time, just enjoying each other’s presence. Ezio was thinking a little too much. It must’ve become obvious, because Drake’s head nudged his.

“Are you okay?” Drake asked. “You seem a bit upset.”

“I’m fine,” Ezio answered, almost immediately.

“That was too quick of a response,” Drake said. “You didn’t think about it.”

Of course he didn’t. Ezio was about damned sick of thinking. He sighed. “I know,” he said. “Just, it’s not important right now. Don’t worry about it. I’m just happy you’re both here.”

And he could hear Mayor Whiskers jingling somewhere nearby, probably under the bed. So the cat was here, too. Hmm. He did have to wonder what would happen with Mayor once he was gone. He kind of hoped the cat would adopt Morgyn when he was gone.

That was so depressing.

Instead of thinking about it anymore, Ezio decided he didn’t want to, rolled over onto his side. He snuggled up next to Drake, and took Cassandra’s hand in his, draping her arm around his waist. That was a lot more comfortable, and they fit a little better up there with him. He didn’t want to have to let them go, of course, and snuggling up to them both was making it a little easier to think about something else and maybe, get some actual sleep rather than simply being unconscious.

Blacking out wasn’t the most restful thing.

“Is that more comfortable?” Cassandra asked, resting her chin in the crook of Ezio’s neck.

“Yeah,” Ezio answered softly. He was steadily starting to doze off, and that was a good thing, so he certainly wasn’t fighting it very hard.

Cassandra smiled. “Good,” she said, just as softly. “Get some sleep. But you should eat something when you get up, so don’t forget.”

Ezio snorted. “Like you two would let me,” he said, sounding amused.

“Well, you never know,” Cassandra said. “Maybe we’ll get eaten by the bogeyman before you wake up.”

“Nooo,” Ezio whispered. “Don’t do that, I don’t want to go to war with the bogeyman.”

Drake laughed slightly. Cassandra did, too.

“Thank you,” Ezio whispered.

“For what?” Cassandra asked.

“For not making me have to choose between you two,” Ezio answered. “I love you both too much.”

* * *

Sarnai was annoyed. This stupid barrier was proving to be a little more problematic than she remembered signing up for. She was old, and powerful, and was being defeated by a fucking barrier. No matter. Sarnai would figure it out eventually, or she supposed she could change tactics and stop trying to break it directly. Perhaps something indirect would work out better. Or she could just get off her ass and stop playing with the twins, and actually capture one.

That sounded like the least grating of her options. One or the other should be able to get her through the barrier, right? At least, theoretically. It was possible they couldn’t, either.

As she paced around, something shifted in the air, and Sarnai’s mood immediately soured. This one wasn’t the grating necromancer bitch, though. Miss Hell stepped out of the shadows, and boy was there fury in her gait and a kaleidoscope of rage in her eyes.

It was almost entertaining, but Sarnai simply tilted her head.

“I need your help,” Miss Hell spat out.

Sarnai raised an eyebrow. “You?” Sarnai asked. “Our help? Dare we ask why?”

“Oh don’t play coy,” Miss Hell answered. “The Vatore bitch just chased us off the power nexus and regained control of Straud manor, and thus Forgotten Hollow. And then she erected a fucking barrier around all of the Hollow.”

Sarnai frowned. “Well, that might put a damper in a few of our plans, yes.”

“Yeah, probably,” Miss Hell said. “I need you to take out Lilith. Apparently I’m not strong enough to take her down on my own, but she should be no problem for you.”

Sarnai tilted her head again, then turned around and began pacing, mulling it over. “Well,” Sarnai started, turning to look at Miss Hell, “we could help you. If you help us first.”

“With what?” Miss Hell asked.

“We need through magic realm’s barrier,” Sarnai said. “It is proving more difficult than we anticipated to break.”

“So get a spellcaster,” Miss Hell said. “Preferably not Aine, the barrier doesn’t like her as I recall.”

“So we’ve heard,” Sarnai answered. “How do we take out the twins?”

“The Embers?” Miss Hell asked. “Why are you fucking with them?”

“One of them is a sage,” Sarnai said. “But the dark one keeps getting in our way when we aim for the sage.”

“You won’t be able to get Morgyn that way,” Miss Hell said. “So long as Ezio is still breathing, he will continually stand in your way. What you need to do is neutralise Ezio, and then Morgyn should cow to you pretty quickly. Or just take Ezio, he’s a little stronger than Morgyn is anyway. And if that doesn’t work, you can borrow Caleb and use him as bait.”

Oooh, Sarnai did love bait… She tilted her head. “Ezio is the dark one?”

“Yes,” Miss Hell answered. “Go after him specifically. If you can trap him, do it.”

Sarnai nodded. “You’ll leave us alone after this?” she asked. “After we get rid of the Vatore for you?”

Miss Hell snorted. “Do you have any interest in running the Hollow?”

Sarnai shook her head.

“How about Caleb?” Miss Hell asked.

Sarnai made a face like she didn’t even know who that was. If she remembered right that was the name of the other Vatore, but Sarnai couldn’t keep track of people anymore. No one mattered but Ra anyway. Half the time, she didn’t even remember this one or the black haired witch’s name either.

“We have no problem, then,” Miss Hell said. “I’ll leave you alone after this.”

Sarnai smiled. “We will take care of your Vatore problem later. We already have a plan.”

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