Chapter 71: Moonland
Return to Moonland; Au5
Previous | Chapter Listing | Next
Sometimes, he wished he could simply turn it off, just like Morgyn had. His tendency to feel things, that is. It was pesky and currently rather painful, and Ezio had little interest in hurting any more than he already had. He wondered, sometimes, if there was a way to control it, in a sense. To reach a point where you weren’t bothered by anything anymore.
At the moment at least, it was quite bothersome and upsetting, and Ezio wasn’t entirely sure what to do with all of it. He’d dealt with a great many things in his life, but this was new. Then again, he probably should’ve expected it.
As always he did now, he was lying in bed, watching the breeze he couldn’t feel, imagining what it sounded like out there. Ezio wasn’t okay, not really. He’d get there sooner or later. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad, and he’d adjust to it just fine. Maybe someday, he wouldn’t miss dancing so much, maybe it wouldn’t matter anymore even if he did. Maybe Ezio just needed a little hope in his life somewhere, and was looking for it in strange places.
He rolled over in bed, curling up on one side slightly. As he did so, the door opened. Ezio just knew it was Drake, so he didn’t turn around, just waved a hand in the air. “I could use cuddles,” he said.
Drake snorted. “Yeah,” he said. “So could I.” And with that, he shuffled around the cables and cords, not as many as there’d been before, and gingerly settled down next to Ezio.
Ezio shifted around and flipped over, lying against Drake instead.
“Sorry I’m not very good company right now,” Ezio said.
Drake snorted again. “It’s fine,” he said. “I’m just upset I can’t help you feel better.”
“Just being here is good enough, you know,” Ezio said, tilting his head back to look at him. “You don’t have to do anything special.”
Drake looked like he didn’t believe a word Ezio was saying, but Ezio was used to that. He seemed to have a hard time believing someone could want to be around him, but Ezio supposed he’d never put words to how he felt about him, either. Was that a personal failing? Maybe so.
“You know,” Ezio said, “I’m a spell.” A somehow very sentient spell, but then Morgyn’s Duplicatos often were. None of them quite so much as Ezio was, but sentient enough. L tried to cast the spell one time and hers had come out with the mentality of a three year old. It was fascinating.
“A spell,” Drake repeated. “And what kind of spell are you?”
Ezio smiled. “Duplicato,” he answered. “Though Morgyn wasn’t intending to cast that, I don’t think. And somehow, did it so well, I’m still here two hundred years later, very much sentient. So much so, I even fell in love.”
Drake frowned. “That was a long time ago,” he said. “And I’d say you’re a bit beyond just being a spell, Ezio.”
“That’s what I am, isn’t it?” Ezio said. “Morgyn cast a spell, and made me. I’m a spell.”
“Maybe you started as one,” Drake answered, “but you’ve grown and changed since then. You’re more than just a spell.”
Ezio smiled, reaching up and resting his hand against Drake’s cheek. “It isn’t how you begin that makes you who you are, huh?” he asked.
“Of course,” Drake said. “Things have changed. You have changed.”
Ezio looked up at him. It took a moment, but then the light dawned in Drake’s eyes.
“Do you have to do that?” Drake asked.
“Do what?” Ezio asked in return.
“That’s unfair,” Drake answered. “It’s hard to argue with you when you do that.”
Ezio smiled. “I love you, you know,” he said. “I’ve loved you for a long time, and I will still love you even after my last breath has gone. It wasn’t anyone with a name that bothered to help me in France, Drake. It was you. And that says more about you than any name ever will.”
He hated how much Drake carried with him that didn’t matter anymore. He hated how much Drake seemed to hate himself. And maybe he could never entirely take all of that away from him, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try, either. Drake deserved better from himself than this.
“I’m sorry I keep making you live through my stupidity,” Ezio said.
Drake snorted. “You wouldn’t be you if you weren’t like that,” he said. “And I know Morgyn’s important to you.”
Ezio sighed. “I think the way I was made, it gave me an incidental overprotective streak,” he said. “Mostly it’s over Morgyn, because Morgyn’s normally the one that needs it, but sometimes I feel it, about you, and Cassandra.” From time to time, Lilith and Caleb. It was no wonder Ezio was falling apart.
Even if Aine hadn’t done anything at all, maybe he’d be dying either way.
Ezio moved, resting against Drake, his arms wrapping around him. And very quietly, he said, “Aine gave me my heart condition.”
Drake was quiet, for a long moment, but his arms wrapped around Ezio, and for a moment, he just held on. Like he was falling apart inside, and Ezio’s presence was the only thing keeping him stable. Maybe that was about right.
“Morgyn was right, then,” Drake said. “To think you can be saved with magic.”
“Yes,” Ezio said. “But Morgyn doesn’t know what she did.” It was hard to undo things when you didn’t know how they were done in the first place. Ezio didn’t blame Morgyn for that, though likely, Morgyn did.
There was nothing that made someone turn to evil besides themselves. Aine had let the light in her heart, that drove away the darkness, become too weak. That was her choice. It had absolutely nothing to do with Morgyn. That was all Aine.
Drake seemed tense. Ezio wasn’t surprised. He stayed quiet, for a long moment, and then backed up and looked up at Drake. “What would it take,” he asked quietly, “to get you to turn me?”
Drake looked down at him. “You mean like into a vampire?” he asked.
Ezio nodded.
“I… figured you weren’t interested in that,” Drake said. “If you are, then, not very much.”
“I know you don’t like biting people,” Ezio said. The first person he’d bitten was Ezio, even, back before they had words to describe what Drake was. Before they knew how incidentally inherently dangerous he was. They’d been talking, and then, Drake had sunk his teeth into Ezio’s shoulder. But he didn’t really hurt him, all the same.
Drake shook his head. “I don’t,” he said. “But I can make an exception for this. I’m just a little confused, I think.”
Well, Ezio never had asked about it before, that was true. It’d come up in conversation here and there, but Ezio never reacted to it one way or another, and no one was even sure if it would help.
But they’d never know if it would unless they tried it, and at this point, Ezio was out of options. He couldn’t move on until Morgyn died. He may as well get used to being here for a good long time, then.
Ezio drew a breath in. “I don’t want to leave you,” Ezio said. “You’ve been with me for two hundred forty years. The least I can do is stay here with you in return.”
“Oh, Ezio…” Drake was quiet, for a moment, and then shook his head. “I didn’t stay because I wanted anything in return,” Drake said.
“I know,” Ezio answered. “And that’s why I want to return it. Because you stayed, even when you didn’t have to, even when I was at my worst. When everyone else left, you were still here. Don’t think I didn’t see it, or that I didn’t notice. When I need someone, it’s always you that’s here.” And maybe it should’ve always been Morgyn, but, it wasn’t. It was Drake, instead. It was always Drake.
Drake didn’t say anything, though Ezio thought he looked a bit confused for a moment, in those softly glowing eyes. Ezio never wanted him to live through that. He certainly didn’t want Drake to have to live through it again.
“You don’t have to understand,” Ezio said quietly, shifting a little closer and gently nuzzling Drake. “Just know that I love you, probably way more than I should, and I always will.”
* * *
The fact Liberty had to work so much was beginning to grate Morgyn’s nerves. Of course, maybe anything and everything was going to grate Morgyn’s nerves about now, being realistic. Liberty’s job just happened to be the most notable of those things that grated Morgyn’s nerves.
The brunet sat in the little hospital chapel, watching the flames from the candles flicker and sway in the wax. Morgyn drew a breath in, shuffling over to them. A few had burnt out. Morgyn’s green eyes flicked up at the crucifix on the wall above their shelf, and then held a hand out, pulling the smouldering embers in the candles back to life with magic.
Morgyn had come here off and on the entire time Ezio was here. It wasn’t St. Mary’s, but it had a good energy to it all the same, and Morgyn found it comforting. On the other hand, Morgyn wondered if it was possible the brunet needed to go back to St. Mary’s. It’d been a while since the sage had gone. In a way, St. Mary’s had become a fourth home. Morgyn sure had a lot of homes for someone that never stayed in one place too long. Or maybe that was the only logical outcome.
The brunet stood watch over the candles in silence, for a time. And then green eyes flicked back up to the crucifix, turned around and checked for people, and activated Transportalate. The brunet disappeared in a shimmer of gold light, reappearing some ways down the street from St. Mary’s. Morgyn adjusted the brunet’s shirt, brushing bits of Mayor Whiskers’ fur off the fabric, and then headed into the church.
And some part of the sage relaxed, stepping in the doors. The soft tinkling of the wind chimes well complimented the soft hymnal music playing in the background. Morgyn barely heard it, but could tell it was there.
Strangely, Morgyn was drawn to the organ at the side of the church, fingers running over the keys, as the brunet sat down on the chair beside it. Morgyn couldn’t play, and had kind of always regretted that. But of course, Morgyn had no reason to need to know how to play. Ezio and Caleb played just fine enough.
“Well I’ll be,” a voice said to one side.
Morgyn looked up, finding the priest standing there. His name was Peter, Morgyn had learnt eventually, and unfortunately, he’d gone a bit grey with age.
“You still don’t look a day older,” Peter said. “But it’s wonderful to see you again, Morgyn.”
Ah. Come to think, the last time Morgyn had been by was probably several years ago by now. “Thank you,” Morgyn said, smiling. “It is nice to see you, too. How are you?”
“Oh, I’ve had better days,” Peter answered, sitting down next to Morgyn at the organ. “Time is kind to few of us. Very kind to you, at least.”
Morgyn smiled. “I have a rigid moisturising regiment,” the brunet said.
Peter laughed. “Oh come now, shouldn’t lie in the house of Watcher,” he said. “You do magic. I’ve known that for a while.”
Morgyn’s head tilted. “You have?” the brunet asked.
“It’s the only explanation for how you come and go in gold light the way you do,” Peter answered. “But I won’t tell. Some things are not for others to know, and there are many of those in the world that would try to use your magic for evil or selfish reasons.”
“You don’t think there’s something wrong with me?” Morgyn asked. “Magic isn’t well-received normally.”
Peter shook his head. “Magic is simply a term for things we don’t understand,” Peter said. “I’m sure there are ways magic works that make as much sense as any science we know. But remember what I told you, when you first came here? Watcher doesn’t make mistakes. Humans do. You do magic because Watcher wills you to.”
Morgyn released a sigh, looking down at the keys.
Peter smiled. “What’s on your mind?” he asked. “It’s been a while, I was starting to worry about you.”
Morgyn looked over at him, the wisps of grey that framed his face, marked with lines. He’d lived a strong life, Morgyn thought, and even in his twilight years, was still here to guide and offer wisdom when he could.
“My brother,” Morgyn said. “He died, for a few minutes. I’ve been praying at the hospital chapel, but it just didn’t feel like enough. So I came home.”
Peter reached over, enveloping one of Morgyn’s hands in both of his own. And then he held Morgyn’s left hand up. “And what is this?” he asked, nodding at the sparkle of pink.
Morgyn smiled softly. “He asked me to marry him,” Morgyn answered. “And I said yes.” Morgyn’s gaze narrowed, watching the light scatter and dance in the ring.
“But?” Peter asked. “I know that look in your eyes.”
Morgyn sighed. “I love him,” Morgyn said. “More than I love anyone that isn’t Ezio. But it feels like I can’t love him enough. Like he needs something, that I can’t give to him. Maybe something I don’t even know what is. It hurts.”
Peter took a breath in, thinking about it. “I’ve known you long enough,” he said, “to know that you have some very deep hurts. I would never ask about them, but I do know they’re there. And I know that, sometimes, when someone has deep hurts, they can cause that someone to throw that pain at others without intending to. You are a strong-willed person, a free-spirit, independent, perhaps to a fault. I am worried that, in time, even if you don’t now, someday you will begin to feel trapped, and struggle with it. I am worried that, you are not ready to love someone else. Morgyn, you don’t even love you.”
Morgyn released another sigh, and deflated slightly. “I don’t know how to,” Morgyn said. “How to love me, or someone else.”
Peter smiled. “I think you came here, so long ago, because you began on a journey of learning who you are, and accepting that Morgyn. But I don’t think you ever did, in the end. Maybe, it is time you do.”
“How do I stop hurting him?” Morgyn asked.
Peter frowned. “If you are hurting him, and don’t know how to stop,” he said, “maybe you should let him go, even if just for now.”
“And break off an engagement?” Morgyn asked, incredulous. “Isn’t that like, a really bad thing to do?”
Peter shook his head. “The teachings imply that we should follow through with what we start,” he said, “but I don’t believe Watcher intends for it to be at the cost of hurting someone that we are supposed to love, Morgyn. He will understand. And someday, when you’re in a better place, and the hurts in you aren’t hurting those around you anymore, then maybe you can try again.”
That sounded fine, Morgyn thought, deflating again, turning towards the keys, and gently pushing one down. But Morgyn was afraid. That if the brunet let him go, there would be no reason for Morgyn to grow or change, and the only thing Morgyn would ever be able to do without him is hurt people.
* * *
Lilith was early, and probably a little bit too early. But of course, Lilith had blocked out more time that was necessary for this, likely because she was nervous and little other reason. There was no reason to be so nervous. Lilith was the one that’d asked, even, so it seemed silly for her to be so nervous now.
Still, it was what it was. Lilith paced around outside the coffee shop, trying not to internally freak out too much, because working herself up into a nervous tizzy before this seemed rather dumb to her. Emilia didn’t bite, probably, and they were just a couple friends going out for coffee. Mostly because Lilith needed a break from tracking Sarnai, who, by the way, had been resurrected so that was nice.
And Elle and Inna had decided she was queen of Forgotten Hollow (whatever that meant anyway), and dealing with the mess of problems Vladislaus had left behind sucked up a lot of her time. It wasn’t even that Lilith couldn’t deal with all of it, it was just that there was so much to deal with, she ended up walking away from it all more often than she’d have preferred.
Sometimes, though, things just became too much. It was what it was. And it was probably best that she walked away from it from time to time, or she was going to end up doing things she might seriously regret.
Amid her pacing around outside the coffee shop, she smelled a floral scent she’d come to associate with Emilia. It was kind of like irises, she thought. Or maybe it was more like crocuses. Both? Maybe it was actually both.
Lilith turned around, just in time for Emilia to trip on the sidewalk. Lilith’s eyes went wide, and she held her arms out. Emilia fell into her grasp instead of hitting the concrete, and Lilith stood her back up and made sure she wasn’t going to fall again.
“You okay?” she asked.
“Yeah,” Emilia answered, smiling. “Thank you. Nice reflexes.”
Lilith laughed. “Yeah, kind of comes with the territory I guess.” Something about being a vampire, it tended to make your reflexes sort of impressive, yeah. “Ready to go in?”
Emilia nodded. “Yeah,” she said. “And hopefully I won’t trip on the entryway.”
Lilith shook her head, smiling, and then scooted ahead of Emilia to open the door (and low-key make sure she didn’t trip on the entryway). Emilia looked amused, and walked up the short step and into the cafe. Lilith followed behind only a second later.
“How’s life?” Emilia asked, taking a place in line.
Lilith shrugged. “It’s been better,” she said. “But things are kind of starting to calm down. Kind of.”
Emilia tilted her head. “How’s Ezio?” she asked.
“Crippled, it’d seem,” Lilith answered. “His heart stopped for a few minutes, messed up his circulation and caused a small stroke. He’s paralysed in one leg, the other’s got partial paralysis. Mostly it means it’s weak, and he should be able to get around still, it’ll just be harder.”
Emilia frowned, and then looked down at the floor. “That’s…” She trailed off, like she couldn’t think of the words.
And Lilith couldn’t, either. Ezio didn’t deserve this. But a lot of people that experienced bad things, they didn’t deserve them either. No amount of Lilith being upset about it would change anything, so she tried not to be upset about it. It was wasted energy, energy she could be using for something else.
Bad things happened to everyone. It just seemed there were a lot of bad things recently.
“Do you guys know what you’re going to do now?” Emilia asked.
Lilith shrugged. “Cassandra and Drake are looking for somewhere bigger and more accessible to move to. I’ve been debating moving out myself.”
“Where would you go?” Emilia asked.
“Forgotten Hollow,” Lilith answered. “My sire disappeared some time ago, and left behind a very empty mansion on a hill. I suppose someone may as well live there.”
“I can’t imagine that,” Emilia said. “Living alone somewhere like Forgotten Hollow. It’d be so quiet.”
“Isn’t it really quiet in Glimmerbrook?” Lilith asked, smirking slightly.
“I mean, I guess,” Emilia said, looking a little confused. “But there’s a lot of wildlife and bugs to make up for all the silence. I guess it isn’t quiet, it’s just loud in a slightly different way.”
“You like outdoors things then?” Lilith asked. The way she said that made her wonder.
“Yeah,” Emilia said. “Well, mostly I like plants. I’d like to go into botany when I’m graduated from university. Whenever that will be.”
“Soon enough, I’m sure,” Lilith said.
Emilia smiled. “Glad someone’s got a little confidence in me,” she said. “I have precisely none.”
Lilith shrugged one shoulder, stepping forward as the line moved. “It’s not so hard,” she said. “You’ve not proven stupid, or anything, that’s a good start.” But then, even if she had proven not so quick witted, there were ways of overcoming that anyway.
“I guess I haven’t,” Emilia answered, following Lilith closer to the counter. “You know, my parents always told me, I wasn’t terribly pretty, so I’d better be smart, since I wasn’t getting anywhere on just looks. But it always feels like I’m not terribly smart, either.”
Lilith stared at her, for a long moment, and then shook her head. “Never introduce me to your parents,” she said. “I may punch them. Hard.”
Emilia looked confused. “Why?” she asked.
Lilith raised an eyebrow. “Because that isn’t something you tell your kids!” she said.
“I don’t know,” Emilia said, smiling wistfully to herself, and looking down at the floor. “They were kind of right, at least.”
Lilith was definitely going to murder her parents.
* * *
She’d come home long enough to stand on the porch, look upset, and burst into tears. And she wasn’t going to stay very long, but Bella had insisted she come in and have tea. Bella always said tea gave answers where others gave silence.
Maybe if you were a highly sensitive medium-psychic, but for Cassandra, the tea was as silent as everyone and everything else was. But she’d been expecting as much. Maybe there weren’t many answers that could be had with this anyway.
It wasn’t even that she hadn’t expected this, to some extent. Ezio had died for several minutes, and while dead, he wasn’t breathing, of course. It stood to reason it’d do some damage sooner or later. It was just a harder reality to deal with than Cassandra had been expecting.
She’d say that it shouldn’t have changed much at all, but she knew that was a lie. Of course it did. The very core of how Ezio lived had changed, of course that had shaken some things up. It was only logical. And of course, she and Drake were impacted, because they cared about and for him.
She and Drake had been looking for an affordable house with the space they’d need for a few days now, and come up with nothing. Well, there were a few options, but they were notably just outside their pricing range. Drake was determined to start publishing more books and getting more in royalties coming in, so that Ezio didn’t have to worry about anything related to bills. Cassandra thought perhaps she could paint more. She hadn’t been, since Ezio had disappeared, and she hadn’t made any money in a while now.
There were things that could be done about this, and for this, it just felt like it was all hopeless.
“Are you sure you can handle this?” Bella asked, folding onto the couch across from Cassandra in the living room. “Ezio has one serious disability now. It’ll impact just about every aspect of life.”
Truthfully? She had no idea. But she was going to try anyway, because she loved him. And it wasn’t a conditional sort. It wasn’t, ‘I love you up to and until the point where you need me even more than you did before. And then when that happens, I’ll walk away, and no one can call it selfish even though it kind of is, because it’s understandable instead.’ That was what she thought.
No. She loved him. So much so, she couldn’t imagine her life without him in it. Things would be difficult now, going forward. But between the three of them, her, Ezio, and Drake, they’d make it work. So far, they’d made it through everything else the universe threw their way. This would be no different.
They’d make it through this. Just like they’d made it here to begin with.
“It’ll take some adjustment,” Cassandra said, staring down at the tea in her lap. “But I think we can do it. We’ve gotten through worse things. It’ll just take time, and patience.” Fortunately, Cassandra had never been lacking in patience.
“Well,” Bella said, setting her own cup of tea onto the coffee table, “I suppose we’ll see how it goes.”
“You sound like you don’t believe it,” Cassandra said.
Bella shrugged. “It is one thing to declare your everlasting love to someone,” Bella said. “Words are easy to say, Cassandra. It’s a whole other deal to try handling a visible, crippling issue of this particular impact.”
Cassandra stared at her for a long moment, and then shook her head. “It’s not like I don’t know that,” she said. And she did know it. “And yes, it hurts, to see him this way, not because this is hard for me, but because it’s hard for him, and I wish more than anything it wasn’t like this. But I still feel the same way about him that I did two weeks ago. That won’t change, not because of something like this.”
If anything, maybe she felt a little stronger about it. Maybe she loved him, if that was possible, a little more than before. Maybe it only felt that way. It wasn’t like Cassandra had recently had the time to examine her own feelings for very long, between one thing and another.
That was probably at least part of her mother’s point. Cassandra still found it irritating. Ezio needed her, and Cassandra wasn’t going to just walk away from him when he needed her. He was also the first person that had ever truly needed her, in any capacity, and maybe it was strange or wrong to base an entire relationship on that. She didn’t know. She honestly didn’t care. What they had, it worked for them, and maybe everyone else needed to butt out of it.
Bella released a sigh, crossing one leg over the other. Then, she smiled. “I’m not trying to be negative,” she said. “It’s just that you have a notable habit of being perhaps too optimistic. You get your head lost in the clouds, but the real world is down here, and sometimes it isn’t quite so simple as you’d like to believe it is.”
“I’m not with this,” Cassandra said. “I think I want to marry him someday.”
“Wait, what?” Bella asked. “Cassandra, you’ve only known each other-“
“For a little over two years, mom,” Cassandra interrupted, then took a drink of tea and set it down on the coffee table. “He’s been around a lot longer than I’ve been talking about him.”
“Why didn’t you mention him before?” Bella asked.
“Are you kidding?” Cassandra asked. “And risk dad having a heart attack because I met a boy? Please no.”
Bella sighed. “I guess you’re right,” she said. “Though your father’s taking it notably better than I am.”
Yeah, that was because Mortimer wasn’t trying to control the situation, he was just rolling with however Cassandra said it was. Cassandra appreciated that, really.
But she understood her mother’s concerns. What she wanted, it was a lot to decide out of the blue, and Cassandra wouldn’t pretend that it wasn’t. But her feelings for Ezio hadn’t waned at all, only grown over time, and she had the feeling they’d never start to dim. Or if they did, it was a long time in the future.
Some part of her felt like it was somewhat selfish of her, to want to stay with him. Maybe the ugly truth was that he didn’t need her, he needed Drake, and Cassandra was not Drake. Maybe she should be unhappy that she was secondary in his life. Drake always came first.
But then she was with him, just them, and he looked at her like she made the sun rise every day, and she felt like, even if just right then, that it was true. Maybe she didn’t make the sun rise every day, but she seemed to make his rise.
“Whatever happened to his boyfriend, anyway?” Bella asked. “I vaguely remember you mentioning he had one.”
Cassandra smiled, picking her tea back up. “They’re still dating,” she said.
Bella looked perplexed. “So you’re the side-chick?” she asked.
“No,” Cassandra answered. “I’m the also lover.”
* * *
The bill was paid. Drake asked about the service dog situation, and the hospital had told him they were on the list for one, at least. Drake asked them to take them off the list, however. Ezio may not end up needing one after some time, and it would likely make Ezio feel a lot better to figure it out on his own instead. And if he didn’t end up needing one later, Drake thought it’d make him feel bad about having one when he didn’t truly have a need for one.
In the meantime, the house hunting with Cassandra was slow-going. There were a lot of snags they kept hitting along the search, but that was an unfortunate side-effect, Drake figured. They’d get around it eventually, he was sure. For now, though, it was a bit frustrating to feel like they were getting somewhere and then suddenly not be anymore.
Ezio was sleeping, so Drake was out in the hallway with his laptop, trying to get further on this book. If he could get a steady, decent level of royalties coming in, then maybe it’d take some of the concern off Ezio’s shoulders. He tended to worry perhaps too much about money, but it made a lot of sense. It wasn’t like Ezio hadn’t spent far too long out here with nothing, but they weren’t ending up on the street, that was absolutely for sure.
Drake tilted his head at the laptop screen, trying to figure out how to word something. Then, he felt someone huff behind him, and jumped slightly.
“You could just call it a berry,” Kassander’s voice said, “and let the reader fill in what kind.”
Drake glanced at him over his shoulder, and then made a face. “Yeah, I guess so,” he said. “I never know when it needs more detail and when to hand-wave it.”
“It’s a balance,” Kassander said, shuffling around the couch and sitting beside him. “There needs to be enough information to get the idea across, and leave out enough to fuel the reader’s imagination. It’s rough.”
“Yep,” Drake said, sighing and falling back on the couch. “I have a hard time with that balance.”
“How’s Ezio?” Kassander asked.
Drake shrugged. “He sleeps a lot,” he said. “Makes sense, he’s still healing from a lot of things, and I feel like he woke up too early. But apparently his body thinks it can handle it. I guess it’s my job to just accept it.” It’d seem that way.
Kassander smiled. “He’s going to be alright,” he said.
Drake glanced at him, and then back to the laptop screen. “You know,” he said, “with you, it’s sometimes hard to tell if you’re saying that to make me feel better, or because you know something.”
“I always know something,” Kassander answered.
“Exactly,” Drake answered wryly.
Kassander laughed quietly under his breath. “Try not to worry so much,” he said. It was a try not to, Drake noticed, but of course Kassander knew that Drake was awfully paranoid and had a hard time not worrying. “Everything’s as it should be.”
“You look sad when you say that,” Drake said.
“Of course,” Kassander answered. “Things like this, they’re difficult to deal with for anyone. But for him… you know.” Kassander was quiet a moment, and then said, “Drake, don’t leave him to the roaring in his head too long.”
Drake looked down at the floor. “I try not to,” he said. “He needs to talk about it, I can feel it, but I can’t make him.”
“No,” Kassander said. “But you can talk first, maybe. See if that’ll get him to. Sometimes, you have to point out the door before someone realises it’s open.”
Yeah, maybe.
“But,” Kassander added, “I want you to remember that you can’t make Ezio do anything. He needs to decide to do things on his own, and he may never. It doesn’t mean that you failed.”
Drake wondered about that. Ezio was only like this because of Jean in the first place. It was hard to say whether or not Ezio would’ve turned out that way eventually either way, but Drake never did feel like he’d done enough to save Ezio from that mess. Maybe he’d always carry some kind of blame for that in his heart and by now, it hardly even mattered. Still, he felt it, he thought it, all the time.
“I guess,” Drake answered.
Kassander released a sigh. “I mean it,” he said. “You can’t help someone that isn’t ready to be helped, Drake.”
He knew that. It was logical. Until Ezio decided that he needed someone else, that he couldn’t wade through the hurt in his heart on his own, decided to let someone else in, Drake was stuck on the outside, watching him smile and fall apart all at once.
It hurt him, every time Ezio smiled to hide his pain. And all the same, Drake had long figured out there wasn’t anything to do for it, anyway.
“You should come home from time to time,” Kassander said. “It’d be nice to see you more often.”
Drake glanced over at him, and shrugged. “You’re always busy,” he said.
Kassander smiled, breathing out softly. “I’m never too busy for my kids.”
Well, that was true enough. Kassander always managed to find the time for the number of homeless kids he adopted over the years. Drake had met quite a number of them, and the number of them was always a bit astounding.
But then, when you had as much wealth, built over centuries, as Kassander, Hasan, and Sandalio did, maybe there was nothing to do with it but improve the lives of others. Kassander did that by adopting, it would seem. It worked out well.
Wait, he’d just said that like-
“I’m… not one of those?” Drake said, his tone making it sound like a question.
Kassander didn’t answer that directly, simply looking terribly amused. “Sure,” he said. “Oh, I meant to give you this before I left.” Kassander reached into a pocket, pulling out an envelope, and a keyring with two keys on it. “This is the front door, and this is the back.”
Drake frowned, as Kassander dropped the envelope and keys into his lap. “Wait, what’s this for?” he asked.
“Open the envelope, and you’ll find out,” Kassander answered, standing up.
“You paid the bill, too, didn’t you?” Drake asked, looking up at him. “Did you just get us a house?”
“Just worry a little less,” Kassander said, “instead of arguing about things that are already done and over with. And come home more. Sheesh. But I do have to go, so, I’ll see you later, maybe when you come by Windenburg instead, yeah?”
“Maybe, yeah,” Drake answered. He, Cassandra, and Ezio still had a date to go on and they’d never made it.
“Alright, you take care,” Kassander said, leaning over and briefly hugging Drake before he straightened back up, and walked off.
And Drake was left mostly very much confused. But then, Kassander always had been a very perplexing creature. Some things, it’d seem, never changed.
