Chapter 0.09
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By the time Cassandra had gotten home, their parents were both gone. Her mother had just gotten a promotion and had started working fairly late, so she wasn’t terribly concerned. Alexander got home at the same time, so Cassandra could watch him in the interim. Generally her kid brother didn’t require a lot of watching, anyway. He tended to just do his homework, and then spend the rest of the evening playing with his few toys or reading a book.
It was eerie how quiet it could get in the house. Sometimes Cassandra found it comforting, but most of the time it was just a little unnerving. She settled down at the dining room table to do her homework. Alexander did his a lot quicker than Cassandra did and was done with it in half the time, then scrambled off to presumably go play with his toys. Cassandra smiled softly at his retreating back, and shifted in her seat to get a little more comfortable. Homework wasn’t difficult to her, but she could certainly use some kind of assist with it. Alexander wasn’t at the point where she could ask him for help, and likely by the time he was in high school, she’d be graduated already. On the bright side, if he needed help, she could do that. It wasn’t likely that he’d need it, because he was smarter than her.
By the time the sun had set, Cassandra had started to get worried. Alexander didn’t seem to be thinking about it too hard, and was still playing wherever he’d gone, but their parents normally weren’t so late. Maybe they’d gone out on a date? But why would a date take so long? Didn’t people normally only go on a date for a few hours? Cassandra paused writing in her journal, glancing at the clock in the living room. They’d been gone since she and Alexander had returned from school, but she wasn’t sure how long they’d been gone before then. That by itself was five hours.
Cassandra sighed, putting the little book with the owl embossed on the cover back where she kept it, and headed into the kitchen to make dinner. It was getting a bit late, and Alexander would likely get hungry soon.
She’d make something simple. At the moment, Cassandra wasn’t terribly interested in spending too long in the kitchen. And after, perhaps she’d go up for a bath. That sounded nice. As she walked into the kitchen, she heard what sounded like whispering. At first, Cassandra ignored it, but it got louder and more insistent. It almost sounded like… there were times Cassandra wondered if she was slowly losing her marbles. This was one of those times.
It sounded almost like her father, but she couldn’t make out what he was saying.
The front door opened and closed. The whispering instantly stopped, and Cassandra decided to put it out of her mind. She turned away from the kitchen and instead headed towards the front door. Alexander must’ve been listening for it, too, because he came running down the stairs and bolted into Bella’s legs as she came in.
“Oh,” she said softly, sounding a bit surprised but mostly like she’d been crying. Cassandra frowned in concern. What had happened?
“Welcome home mom!” Alexander happily chirruped. “Where’ve you been? Where’s dad?”
Bella looked upset, but it carefully faded away after a moment. “Well sweetie,” she said, kneeling down in front of him. “Sometimes… people go away. And they don’t always come back when they do.” Her voice cracked, but somehow she held it together, and Cassandra only frowned deeper.
That was an indirect, half-hearted answer if Cassandra had ever heard one, but she wasn’t going to call her mother on it. Instead, she stayed quiet, watching Alexander deflate. Bella grimaced slightly, rubbing his arm.
“So, he’s never coming back?” Alexander asked in a small voice. He was so smart it was easy to forget that in the end, Alexander was still a little boy, but Cassandra remembered in that moment. She moved over to stand behind him, patting his hair.
“He may come back someday,” Bella answered. “But maybe not soon, no. It’s okay Alex. Remember him. As long as you remember him, keep him in your thoughts and your heart, he’ll never be gone, not really.”
Had he died? Cassandra wondered. Was that… she’d thought she was hearing things for sure in the kitchen earlier, but maybe that was… did ghosts exist? Cassandra had never honestly thought about it, finding it much easier not to. There was something comforting about the idea that death wasn’t the end of anything, and yet at the same time, it was terrifying. It was hard to imagine existing with the same troubles and concerns even after you died, but Cassandra also knew that some Sims probably never quite let go of their lives. It was understandable, if sad, a thing.
“Okay,” Alex said, nodding sadly. “Are you okay?”
Bella looked surprised by the question, but in thinking about it, Cassandra wasn’t sure why. It was Alexander’s nature, it seemed, to worry about his family before himself.
“Yeah,” Bella answered. “I’m – I’m fine. I’m just tired.”
Cassandra knew she was lying. Alexander probably also knew she was lying. And yet, neither of them called her on her bluff, as she stood back up, and headed up the stairs. It wasn’t difficult to imagine what for, and perhaps Cassandra would simply leave her to her grief, for now. Even though Cassandra should’ve known her parents truly did love one another, sometimes she’d still wondered, if briefly. She didn’t wonder anymore.
She’d get the truth out of Bella sooner or later, but for right now, maybe it’d be best to try and stick to as close to a normal routine as possible, to help Alexander work around it and keep living. Cassandra waited until she heard a door close upstairs, and then reached down, resting her hands on Alexander’s shoulders.
“I’ll make dinner,” she said, softly. It wasn’t to say it didn’t hurt. It wasn’t to say that Cassandra wasn’t upset, because she was. Right now, though, she didn’t have time to pay attention to the sting of hurt in her chest and the sadness that threatened to close her throat. Alexander needed her to stay upright for just a little bit longer.
“Okay,” Alexander answered.
“If you want to go upstairs, I’ll let you know when it’s done.” Cassandra let him go, and he didn’t say anything in response, just nodded sadly, and shuffled up the stairs after Bella.
* * *
The sun wasn’t even up yet. Cassandra wasn’t surprised she’d awakened so early, but it was still annoying. She’d had a difficult time getting to sleep in the first place. Bella had locked herself in her room and not come out the rest of last night, and Cassandra hadn’t bothered trying to get her out of her room. It’d likely take some time before she could come back out and face the world, and Cassandra was fairly certain she was allowed to take her time. Certainly, Cassandra wasn’t going to be rushing her.
It still stung. It hadn’t quite sunk in all the way, Cassandra thought, but she was trying to let it go. She wasn’t so sure what to think. The only thing that made sense to her was that her father had died, but Bella didn’t say that. She said that it was possible he may come back someday, so maybe he’d just left the house. Yet that didn’t really make any sense, because her parents were smitten with each other, and she was mostly sure it wasn’t feigned.
She was confused, and hurt, and it would take some time to process those feelings and decide what to do with them, she was sure. In the meanwhile, breakfast wasn’t going to make itself, she was sure, so she got out of bed, and shuffled to the bathroom. It was so quiet… normally, by now, she’d be able to hear Alexander giggling in the dining room as their father told him some crazy story, Bella making tea, but it was like the life was gone.
It’d pass. Someday, this would pass, and life would go on again. It was too strong to give up, and maybe they were, too.
Alexander was already downstairs, sitting at the dining room table and looking upset. He was probably thinking of the same things Cassandra had been, that it was too quiet. Cassandra quietly sat down in the seat next to him, nudging him with her arm. “Hey kiddo,” she greeted softly.
“Morning Cass,” he answered.
“How’re you holding up?” Cassandra asked.
Alexander shrugged one shoulder lightly. “Alright, I think.”
“You gonna be okay in school today?”
Her brother went quiet for a moment, thinking, but then he nodded. “I think so,” he answered. “I thought maybe I should just try not to worry about it too much. Maybe it’s for bigger Sims. But he’s not coming back, is he?”
“I don’t know, kiddo,” Cassandra answered honestly. Until she figured out what had happened in the first place, it was difficult to say whether it was possible that he’d come back or not. She didn’t want to dash his hopes, but neither did she want to let him live with a false sense of it. Maybe some of her hesitance to say yes or no was partly for herself, too. She didn’t want to inadvertently hurt her own feelings, either. It would be rather difficult to keep the household running and take care of Alexander where Bella couldn’t if she was also a mess.
“It’s still probably better if I don’t worry about it,” Alexander said. “I hope he comes back, though. I miss him a lot.”
“I do too, kiddo,” Cassandra admitted. It wasn’t as if she thought she shouldn’t miss him. He was her father, of course she did. Alexander was likely the same, and she didn’t expect him not to miss his father. Things were going to be tough, but she thought they could make it. And maybe somewhere in the thinking they could make it, they would. “This won’t be easy,” she said. “But I think we can do it.”
“Yeah,” Alexander said, nodding. “I’ll wash the dishes so you can make breakfast, Cass.” With that, Alexander got up and went into the kitchen to start doing just that. Cassandra smiled softly as he scurried off, and then turned to look at the stairs. A moment of hesitation later, and she stood up, going up and stopping outside her parents’ room.
Quietly, she could hear the sniffles. It was understandable, but it was still painful to hear, made her heart twist a little in her chest. Imagining one parent without the other was always a tough thing, and Cassandra had preferred not to do it. It’d have been inevitable. Her father was a bit older than her mother, notably even, and would’ve passed on naturally long before she did.
Cassandra tapped lightly on the door. “Mom?” she called. “Alexander and I are making breakfast. You should come down and eat something.” Remembering to take care of herself might help her feel a little better.
The sniffling quieted down, but she could still hear the tears in Bella’s tone. “I’m fine,” she said. “I’ll be down later.”
Cassandra frowned a little. It was almost completely pointless to argue with her mother, and she knew that. Bella was one of the most stubborn people Cassandra knew. “Are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t want you to forget.” It was easy to when you were dealing with grief.
“I won’t,” Bella answered.
Cassandra decided not to call her on the obvious lie. Most likely, she’d just stay in bed all day. Cassandra wondered if she had to work today, but couldn’t honestly remember.
“I’ll leave leftovers in the refrigerator for you, then,” Cassandra decided. If her mother wouldn’t come down on her own just yet, then maybe simply making sure that there was breakfast available when she was ready was a good idea. And Cassandra hoped she came down after they went to school. She couldn’t, and shouldn’t, hide through it all.
She lingered for a moment, but Bella didn’t respond, and Cassandra decided to retreat back down the stairs. She and Alexander didn’t have a lot of time to themselves before it would inevitably be time to go to school, and she didn’t want either of them to end up late. This had already shaken up their lives enough as it was, and Cassandra was determined not to let it do it any more than it had.
* * *
Alexander’s greeting when they returned home was much quieter than usual. He simply reached out, took Cassandra’s hand, squeezed it slightly, and then trudged into the house to start on his homework. Cassandra probably looked upset, for a moment, before she shook herself and headed into the house, too. She didn’t have the time to be upset. She had to do her homework, and then she’d have to start thinking about what to do for dinner, and then perhaps, if Alexander didn’t do it, there’d be dishes to wash. Alexander probably needed a bath today, too, so she’d have to make sure he got one.
All of these adult things were difficult for her to handle, but it could’ve been worse. The house was in relative order, at least, and it was mostly a matter of picking up where her parents had left off. Her heart still hurt, but working through it was turning out to be a decent way of handling it. Later, she was sure, she’d spend the time writing a song on violin, and maybe she’d name it after her father. Then again, perhaps she should wait on deciding that one, because it really depended on what had happened and why he wasn’t around anymore.
As Cassandra came in the front door, she took her shoes off and went into the kitchen. One hand pulled the refrigerator door open, to find that the leftovers she’d stored had yet to be touched. Cassandra frowned. Well, she’d probably gone to work, so maybe she ate at work. Cassandra went into the living room, intent on doing her homework, but found her mother’s work jacket on one of the chairs. Typically, Bella worked later than they stayed at school. Had she gone to work at all? Cassandra frowned deeper, and then rummaged around in her mother’s jacket pockets, finding her cell phone. There were over a dozen missed calls from her work, a few messages… this one looked like her supervisor, so Cassandra tapped the call back button and held the phone to her ear.
“It’s about time, Goth,” a voice answered after a few rings.
“Uh, hi this is Cassandra, er, Bella’s daughter,” she said, her tone almost making that a question. “She got sick this morning and has been sleeping all day.”
“Riiight,” the Sim on the other end said. “I suppose she’ll be in tomorrow?”
“She should be, yes,” Cassandra replied. And she was going to hope that her mother didn’t make her a liar.
“Good,” the voice answered. “She’s on a thin wire because she no-call no-showed today, so make sure she comes in tomorrow, or she stands to lose her job outright.”
“Okay,” Cassandra said. “I’ll let her know. Thank you.”
The Sim on the other end of the line just grunted in response, and promptly hung up. Cassandra turned off her mother’s phone. It was understandable that her work was upset about her skipping out on it today, but that was a little harsh, Cassandra thought. Well, adult Sims lived very different lives, she supposed. She sighed to herself, and then headed into the kitchen. If her mother wasn’t going to get herself some food, then Cassandra would just have to make sure she ate. They’d already lost one parent, for whatever reason, and Cassandra didn’t think they needed to lose the other to starvation.
While she was in there, Cassandra set the tea pot to making chamomile tea, her mother’s favourite. She hoped it helped Bella feel a little better. It wasn’t as bad as it seemed like, somehow. Or perhaps Cassandra had stopped truly feeling it. She wasn’t sure. All Cassandra knew was that she couldn’t afford to spend too much time waffling, because it seemed everyone else was waffling. Someone had to get things done, instead, and apparently it was going to be her.
When the tea was done, Cassandra got a cup poured, and a plate of food, and went upstairs. She stopped outside the door, listening. It was very quiet, but she could occasionally hear her mother’s sniffles. She was awake, at least. Gently, Cassandra tried to open the door, only to find it locked. For a moment, she debated trying to get Bella to open the door for her, but she hadn’t done it last night, and something told Cassandra that she wouldn’t be in a more generous mood today.
So, instead, Cassandra settled down on the floor outside the door, setting the plate and the tea on the floor for a moment, and pulled one of her hair pins out of her hair. She was a bit rusty with these locks, but after several minutes of digging around in the keyhole of the door knob, she managed to finally pop the lock. The door came open, the hinges creaking notably.
“You haven’t eaten today,” Cassandra said, putting the hair pin back, and then picking up the plate and cup, and letting herself in. Her foot moved behind her to close to door.
“I’m fine,” Bella answered. “I’m not hungry.”
“Yes you are,” Cassandra answered. She hadn’t eaten in maybe over 24 hours by this point, and that wasn’t a good thing. She had to be starving by now.
Bella didn’t argue, simply grumbled something unintelligble and buried her head under the covers. Cassandra sighed. Somehow, though, it was comforting to know that her mother didn’t always have everything together. Cassandra set the plate and cup down on the dresser, and then marched over to the bed, pulling the covers off and rolling them around her arms. Bella curled up tighter into a ball, and Cassandra set the blanket in one of the chairs. Then, she reached over and bodily pulled her mother up into a sitting position, and handed her the plate of food.
“I also made chamomile tea,” she said, moving the cup from the dresser to the side table. “I know it hurts. I feel it too. I know you don’t know what to do now, but you can’t just stay in bed and refuse to do anything anymore. Alexander still needs you.” There was a short pause, and quieter, Cassandra added, “I still need you. Don’t make us lose you both.”
It was the first time Bella had ever heard Cassandra think about herself, and while it was surprising, it shouldn’t have been, in hindsight. Though she still didn’t want to face it, Bella sighed lightly, reaching over and taking the cup of tea, sipping at it lightly. Cassandra was right, though. And as much as she didn’t want to think about it, Mortimer wouldn’t have wanted this for her, either. It just hurt, so much. She didn’t know what to do without him, how to face a world he wasn’t in. He’d always been her grounding, her rock, the voice of reason. They’d been together for so long that they were one tree and not two, and now without her other half, Bella wasn’t sure who she was.
“I’m sorry Cassie,” Bella said.
“Don’t be,” Cassandra answered. “Just get better.” Then, maybe everything would start to be right again.
