Chapter 0.10
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Cassandra sat with Bella the entire time, making sure she ate. And when she was done, Cassie took the dishes downstairs to the sink, and came back up. Cassandra had her own set of questions about what had happened, and where her father went. Bella, she was sure, had neglected to mention a thing or two in order not to overwhelm Alexander, and Cassandra understood that. She was older, though. And she’d get answers if it was the last thing she did.
She settled back down in a seat nearby. Cassandra tried not to look too annoyed, or concerned. Neutrality here might serve her better. “I called your work,” she said. “They’re willing to forgive today, but you need to go tomorrow. They won’t forgive it twice.”
Bella looked a bit chastised. “You’re right.” Her gaze fell to the blankets. “I forgot, honestly.”
“I’m sure,” Cassandra said. “You shouldn’t forget twice. You can’t just give up.” Technically, she could. It didn’t make it a good idea.
Bella simply nodded mutely. Cassandra decided to let that particular subject go. Instead, she sighed slightly, and crossed her legs.
“You gave Alexander mostly a lie,” she said. It wasn’t accusatory, nor sound that way, just a statement.
Bella nodded. “He doesn’t need to know the details,” she said softly. “He’s too young to really understand.”
“But I’m not,” Cassandra said.
It seemed Bella got the hint. After a moment of watching Cassandra, Bella sighed, and pulled her knees up to wrap her arms around. “I suppose you’re not,” she said. “I’m sure Mor – … you know about the Sages and the Five Families by now.”
“I do,” Cassandra said, nodding.
“Circe Toledo,” Bella went on. “She was one of my closest childhood friends, but she was a little unstable even as a teenager. She was an ambitious sort. I probably should’ve been more concerned about just how ambitious she would become later, but at the time, it seemed harmless. She wanted to become one of the three Sages. She’s always been a really good magic user, so it was entirely possible for her to become a Sage. Circe and Morgyn… they were always the best casters.”
Bella took a breath in, thinking. “She eventually became the Sage of Untamed Magic. It suited her fairly well, in the way she uses magic, in her personality, and I was happy for her, but then she started to change. And one day I didn’t know her anymore. She started saying things about how we shouldn’t be giving just anyone the ability to use magic, which we’ve been ascending anyone as a spellcaster that asked because Magic Realm is dying. Circe began to disagree with that, thought we should be preserving the old bloodlines instead. Two of the Five, the Goths and the Crowleys, disagreed with this idea. Circe later destroyed the Crowleys, but before she could get to the Goths, your grandmother Cornelia stripped her powers.” It was quite the battle, but no one had ever bested Cornelia in a duel before, and it wasn’t terribly surprising that Circe didn’t either.
“That wasn’t enough to deter her,” Bella went on. “Cornelia died, and Circe became a vampire. And now it seems like she’s intent on making every Goth in the line suffer for the slight. I don’t know what she did. One minute he was there, and the next he was gone, and I don’t know how to fix it.” Bella choked up, starting to cry again. Maybe she’d never be able to talk about this without crying.
Cassandra winced slightly, standing and sitting next to her mother. She reached over and pulled her mother into a hug, resting her head against Bella’s. “We’ll figure it out,” Cassandra said.
“I can’t,” Bella said, hiccupping. “I’m not a strong spellcaster. That was his thing, he was the powerful spellcaster. I can’t fight Circe, Cassandra. I can’t.”
Cassandra quietly rubbed her arm. Maybe she couldn’t. Maybe it wasn’t something Bella was capable of. Even if she theoretically had the power to do so, she was too heartbroken and maybe wouldn’t ever really feel any better. Maybe this was a pain that would never truly go away, and that kind of pain could easily make it difficult for her to face Circe.
But, maybe Cassandra could do it. Mortimer had said she had blood from probably four of the five families running in her veins. She’d be a powerful spellcaster, someday. And maybe she could figure out what Circe had done, and get her father back. Maybe.
Cassandra didn’t say anything. There was really nothing to say. She couldn’t tell her mother it’d be alright. She didn’t know that for sure. It was hard to say how things would turn out in the end, and maybe that was just as well. It wasn’t like Bella would have any motivation to work towards anything aside from maybe continuing to live, because living was likely to be hard enough.
And so, instead, Cassandra ended up sitting with her mother, until she cried herself out, as there were always more tears to cry, and Cassandra didn’t want to leave when there was still more to let out. Things weren’t okay. They were far from okay, and maybe it’d take a long time before they were okay. Maybe that was going to be a long road, going to take some time, maybe more time than any of them really wanted to spend on it, but it was okay to take that time. In the end, it was worth spending that time on. It was worth working towards. Even if only because Cassandra didn’t think Mortimer would want them to be upset too long. Wouldn’t want them to get so wrapped up in the loss that they forgot to love one another before it was their time to go too.
Maybe she could fix it. Yes, maybe Bella couldn’t figure it out, didn’t have the will or the knowledge, but Cassandra didn’t know anything, and had nothing but time on her hands. She could figure it out. Yes, someday, somehow, Cassandra would bring her father home.
* * *
It felt like it’d been longer. Cassandra sighed to herself, looking at her phone. It’d only been three days since Mortimer had gone away. Bella still wasn’t very good at remembering to eat and take showers; she’d tried multiple times since that first day to hide in her room and sleep instead of eating, but Cassandra had no trouble popping the lock and handing her food. Bella didn’t really like it, but Cassandra wasn’t asking her to. She wasn’t asking much of anything these days, half bossing her mom and kid brother around if it meant they got things done.
Cassandra hadn’t much focused on her own pain. She preferred to channel it creatively, instead, and had been playing violin a lot. She’d also learned to paint, because it sounded interesting, and it was a break from music. Though Cassandra did love music, she loved anything creative, and wanted to experience all those creative things at least once.
Sometimes, it was hard to want to keep going. It was hard to want to get up out of bed and handle things, make meals, pester Alexander about taking showers and actually going to sleep at night. There were times Cassandra didn’t want to do her homework, didn’t think she could handle going to school, withdrew from others. She was allowed, she knew that. Anyone in her position would likely feel the same way. Cassandra simply also had certain expectations for herself. Much of the time, these expectations weren’t difficult to meet, but occasionally they became unnecessarily harsh, and she had to remember that.
Cassandra quickly finished making breakfast. It was something simple again, but all she really felt like making was simple meals, things that weren’t too complicated and didn’t take too long. Alexander didn’t seem to mind, and Bella was often too depressed to tell the difference. She was beginning to cheer up a little, a bit at a time, and Cassandra hoped chasing her to take care of herself was almost over. She wanted her mother to remember how to live, and maybe find some peace with the whole thing. Cassandra would bring him back. Somehow, some way. She had to believe that, because that belief had been all that was getting her through these days, through the pain.
As soon as she was done plating breakfast, Alexander came down the stairs, and got himself a plate.
“Good morning, kiddo,” Cassandra greeted.
“Morning,” he answered. He didn’t sound as upset as he usually did, as he had the last few days. Maybe there was hope there, he might be feeling better. “This is one of my favourite breakfasts, Cass.”
“Is it?” Cassandra asked.
Alexander nodded, almost skipping to the dining room to sit down and eat.
Cassandra giggled a bit at his antics. “I’ll try and remember to make it more often, then.” It was fortunately one of the easier things to make, and she wouldn’t complain too much about it being made more frequently. It kept her from having to make something more time intensive.
“So,” Cassandra started, settling down in her seat beside Alexander. “How are you feeling?” It’d been a few days, of course. Alexander seemed to be doing okay, but it was a good idea to check in on him here and there. He probably wouldn’t volunteer to talk about how he felt with Cassandra or Bella, because both took it just as hard, and Alexander tended to be a fairly thoughtful boy, for a kid.
“I don’t know,” Alexander answered, pushing his food around his plate. “I thought I was doing okay, but I keep getting sad all over again.”
Cassandra nodded in understanding. “It happens to us all, kiddo,” she said. “I thought I was okay last night, but I woke up today, and I’m kind of sad again. It’s normal to feel like that.” It was one of the most normal things to feel they’d ever felt before, and Cassandra didn’t want him to think less of himself for it.
“Oh,” Alexander said, looking thoughtful. “So, it’s normal to feel better and then not anymore?”
Cassandra nodded. “It is kiddo,” she said. “There’ll be days that are better than others, and it’s okay. It’s okay to feel better and then slip a little. Just keep going forward. You’ll get the hang of it eventually, and those times when you feel worse than other times will become less frequent, until one day you’ll look up and realise you haven’t had a bad day in a long time.”
“I look forward to that,” Alex said. “How are you doing? Do you need help with anything?”
“You’re being help enough,” Cassandra said. “Thank you though. I have good moments and bad ones too. I think I’m getting closer to being okay.” Cassandra hoped she was.
“Okay,” Alexander said. “Just let me know if you need me to do something. I don’t mind helping, and, I want to. We gotta stick together, right Cass?”
“Yeah,” Cassandra answered. “We got each other still. We should stick together for sure.”
Alexander went quiet for a moment, thinking. And then, he looked up at Cassandra again, and asked, “So, is dad ever coming back? I know mom won’t really tell me.”
Cassandra reached over and patted his arm. “Hey,” she said. “Someday, yeah, maybe he will. I can’t say for sure, but she was right. Just remember him as much as you can, and he won’t ever be too far away.”
“Is that adult speak for he’s not coming back?” Alexander asked. “He died, didn’t he?”
Cassandra sighed. “It’s a little more complicated than that,” she said. “I want to explain it, but I think you’re a bit young for it yet. It’s okay. You’ll understand someday.”
“Okay,” Alexander said. “Well, before we go to school, could we start reading one of dad’s books? I’ve always wanted to read them, but a lot of the words are too complicated for me.”
Cassandra smiled somewhat sadly. It should be Mortimer he was reading those with, but it was a good way to keep his memory alive. “Yeah kiddo,” she said. “We can do that.”
* * *
Unfortunately, it was a question she was going to have to ask Bella. No one else in the house would have answers for her, and Cassandra wasn’t sure where to start. Did they have answers to where to go to activate your magic at the library? Something told her no, probably not. The most that’d do would be frustrate her, most likely.
Instead, Cassandra did her homework at the dining room table, waiting for Bella to return home. She didn’t have to wait long, as eventually her mother opened the door, her heels clacking on the entryway floor. Bella wasted little time in coming into the dining room, and sitting down. Cassandra murmured a greeting, and then stood up, shuffling into the kitchen for a moment and returning with two cups of tea. She set one of the cups down in front of Bella, the other beside her homework.
“Ah, thank you,” Bella said, sounding amused. “You’re sure picking up my slack well enough.”
“Someone has to,” Cassandra replied, shrugging one shoulder. As long as the housework got done, it didn’t honestly matter who did it, or at least, that was what Cassandra figured.
Bella loosed a sigh. “I suppose you’re right,” she said, glancing out the window for a moment. “It just seems like you shouldn’t be worrying about things like housework.”
Cassandra shook her head. “It’s fine,” she reassured. “Sometimes things turn out that way, and that’s fine. It has to be done, and you’re too busy working, and we probably can’t afford another butler.”
Her mother looked a bit pained. “Ah, no, we can’t,” she said, confirming what Cassandra suspected. With her father gone, their income was even lower, too, and Cassandra still didn’t know what Bella did for a living, but it probably didn’t pay quite that well. “How are you doing?”
Cassandra almost looked surprised for a moment. She suspected her mother wouldn’t ask. After all, Bella had the brunt of it, but there was some solidarity to be had, she supposed. Cassandra shrugged one shoulder. “Some days are worse than others,” she said. She’d told Alexander as much, and it was still valid.
“Boy do I hear that,” Bella grumbled into her teacup.
“There’s food in the fridge, if you’re hungry,” Cassandra mentioned. It sounded off-hand, but it probably wasn’t. Cassandra expected to need to continue to chase after Bella and make sure she took care of herself, because it wasn’t as if her mother would magically become good at it all of the sudden. As much as she wished that would be how it worked, it wouldn’t, and Cassandra knew it.
Bella blinked, setting her teacup back down on the table. “Sounds like a good idea,” she said, more to herself. “I might’ve skipped lunch. I honestly can’t remember.”
Cassandra frowned. “That’s not a good thing.”
“I know,” Bella said, sighing. “It’s just easy to get caught up in things at work and forget to do certain things and, well, eating is one of those things.”
“Long as you eat, and try not to make it a habit,” Cassandra said, still frowning, “I guess it’s fine.”
“Which of us is the mother here?” Bella asked, looking amused. She almost smiled for the first time since Mortimer had gone away. Cassandra almost didn’t want to ruin the moment, but the answer to this question was important.
“How do I activate my magic?” she asked. “Do I have to wait until it activates on its own, or can I do it early?”
Bella blinked in surprised, and then drew a breath in. It’d figure that was what Cassandra wanted to know, but while she looked like she’d rather not answer, she did anyway. “You’ll have to find a Sage for that,” she said.
“And where does one find one of those?” Cassandra asked. “I don’t imagine they hang out at the library on Tuesdays.”
Bella snorted. “No, not really,” she answered. “You’re looking for a quiet little township just beyond Granite Falls called Glimmerbrook. You’ll have to go there the hard way,” Bella explained, standing up and finding some paper and a pen. As she sat back down, she started sketching something on the paper. “Your Glimmerstone isn’t active either, just yet, since your powers are still dormant, and normally we use the stone.”
“What’s a Glimmerstone?” Cassandra asked, watching her mother sketch in curiosity.
“The crystal you’ve always had that never seems to get lost, that’s a Glimmerstone,” Bella answered. “It can teleportalate you directly to the Magic Realm whenever you want, if, of course, you’re an active spellcaster. Unfortunately, you aren’t, so you’ll have to make the journey and find the Sages on your own, but the way to Glimmerbrook isn’t difficult. You could do it on a weekend easily enough.” Bella tilted her head at the sketch, and then put the pen down, turning the paper around.
It was a map, Cassandra could see. She was looking for a large waterfall just past Granite Falls. There was a mountain range on the right side, she wasn’t sure what that was. Her mother hadn’t labelled it, but the path she sent her went around it. She’d have to go partway into Selvadorada, she thought, to get there.
“This is a little bit out of the way,” Cassandra said, eyeing the map.
“There are faster ways,” Bella answered, “but I don’t want you taking those faster routes. They’re too dangerous.”
Cassandra glanced at Bella over the top of the paper. She recognised the tone Bella had just used. It wasn’t up for discussion. Bella had made up her mind. She’d told her where to go to find the Sages, though. She should be glad for that, and not push her luck too hard, because Bella could’ve refused to tell Cassandra how to activate her magic at all. She could’ve decided that messing around with magic was far too dangerous for her, just like these other routes apparently were.
“Okay,” Cassandra said. “I may be gone this weekend, then.”
Bella didn’t seem surprised, but she also didn’t seem terribly pleased. “Just be careful,” Bella said. “There are some coffins that are better left closed, my dear.”
Yes, Cassandra knew this. She also knew that some coffins were better yanked open.
