Chapter 11: All the Things We Are
Every Time You Go, Ellie Goulding
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“He’s usually not this late,” Morgyn said, fingers rapping against one arm.
Drake grunted from where he was sitting at one of the tables. Morgyn had been pacing around and saying something to that effect for probably the last twenty minutes. It was starting to get annoying, but that was most likely because Drake’s paranoia was starting to play off Morgyn’s. They had an interesting talent at sitting here going in circles and making each other anxious. They could do it for hours if left to their own devices.
Ezio hadn’t come downstairs just yet. It was concerning, because, as Morgyn had said, he wasn’t usually this late coming down in the morning. His stability depended on a careful balance of several factors; namely sleep, regular diet, and some mild exercise, and while it wasn’t perfect, it was even worse without that careful balancing, so when one of these things appeared to supercede the others, it became worrisome. It was nearing nine in the morning, a good four hours after Ezio normally woke up, and Ezio was nowhere to be found. Drake couldn’t sense any distress. That didn’t mean anything, though.
“Maybe one of us should go upstairs,” Morgyn said, having gone back to wearing paths into the kitchen floor.
Drake released a sigh. Morgyn might be onto something there, but it was hard to say how long wasn’t long enough to wait, or if they’d already waited too long. He could just as easily be up there reading through that great wall of books of his, and they were down here worrying over nothing. Of course, Drake still knew that even though he didn’t sense anything concerning, it didn’t mean there wasn’t anything concerning. He’d thought, already, more than once, that it was possible he was getting used to these things that went wrong, and was beginning to be unable to sense them as well. He tried not to think about it much.
“Nine is a little late,” Drake agreed. “Maybe one of us should go check on him.”
“Maybe,” Morgyn said. “He might just be reading. He’s probably just reading.”
“Do you want to go or not?” Drake asked.
Morgyn didn’t answer with words, instead jiggling a leg and whining.
Drake released another sigh. Before he could say anything, however, he caught the scent of vanilla and bourbon, and Jackson wandered in looking like something a cat dragged in. Drake snorted softly to himself, turning to the book on the table.
“Jackson,” Morgyn started, “have you seen Ezio this morning?”
Jackson made a face, headed for the coffee pot. “No?” he replied, though the word sounded confused. “Is he not down yet?”
“He’s not,” Morgyn answered, the frown on the blond’s face deepening. It was good Jackson hadn’t spoken to Ezio yet. Morgyn didn’t think Ezio needed to know Jackson had been drunk as all get out last night, and the blond had no intention of telling him what Jackson had said, either. That was between Ezio and Jackson, and Morgyn had done enough nosing into Ezio’s business. Even if the blond still thought this relationship wasn’t going to work out, maybe that was for Morgyn to know and them to figure out.
In the meantime, they had a bigger problem.
“I’ll go up,” Morgyn said. “If he’s up there, I’ll figure out what’s going on. Stay here in case he turns up before I get back.”
“Okay,” Drake answered.
“Hang in there,” Morgyn said, and scurried up the stairs.
Drake huffed in mild amusement. Morgyn was the one having the panic. The blond was never good at curbing emotional reactions. Even practicing with L was turning out to take a bit of time.
Jackson snorted, pouring a cup of coffee and sitting at the other end of the table. “He’s probably just sleeping in,” Jackson said.
Drake glanced up at him, his expression flat. Oh sure, maybe if it was anyone else, Drake might buy that. Sometimes, Jackson seemed to wilfully close his eyes to the reality that was right in front of his face. Then, Drake supposed now he and Morgyn knew why Jackson did that. His own inability to deal with this shit wasn’t Ezio’s problem, however, nor was it Drake’s, but Ezio was the one that got hurt for it. Nothing Jackson said last night had changed Drake’s opinion of him, and somehow, Drake didn’t imagine it changed Morgyn’s, either.
“Ezio doesn’t sleep in,” Drake said, his tone level. “If you spent longer than two hours at a time around him, you’d know that. But you don’t do that. That’d almost be too much.”
Jackson’s eyes narrowed at the vampire. Both were silent for a moment, and then Jackson took a drink of coffee, setting the cup down on the table. “You don’t like me, do you?”
If it took Jackson this long to figure out Drake didn’t like him, that was something. Drake’s poker face must’ve gotten better over the years. Either that, or Drake was getting used to disliking Ezio’s boyfriends. One of the two.
“That’s okay,” Jackson said, shifting in his seat to rest one arm on the table. “I can’t say I like you, either.”
Drake snorted softly. “I’m sorry, I seem to have no fucks left for that one.”
Jackson rolled his eyes. It didn’t matter any to him anyway, whether the stupid vampire liked him or not. Jackson stood up, picking his coffee up. “I don’t know how you guys do this,” he grumbled, taking a drink of it as he went out the doorway. If Drake had to take a guess, probably to spend the day in Caster’s Alley, like he always did. Valid his reasons may be, Drake didn’t think there was a real excuse for not being here when Ezio ostensibly needed him the most. That was none of his business, he supposed. Jackson would either figure it out, or he wouldn’t, and which it was wasn’t Drake’s problem.
At least Ezio wasn’t alone. He and Morgyn were here, and Jackson either got with the programme, or didn’t. Whether he did or didn’t was not Drake’s problem.
Morgyn really wanted to tear into that mother fucker and give him a piece of the blond’s mind, perhaps several pieces. How unfair did he have to be, anyway? It wasn’t like Ezio wanted to deal with his heart condition either, the only difference was Jackson could run away from it, and Ezio couldn’t. At the time, Morgyn had almost felt sorry for the guy. The blond knew, quite well, how hard it was to watch this. It wasn’t like Morgyn was a stranger to the feeling of helplessness and frustration that it tended to inspire.
Frankly, the only reason Morgyn hadn’t tried to run from it, tempting though it was, was because Morgyn was aware that whatever the blond was feeling, Ezio was feeling it worse. He had no choice. Morgyn did. Jackson may not have figured that out, or maybe he had and simply didn’t find it to be worth it (Jackson loved him, he said, that was laughable). Neither option was a good one, in Morgyn’s opinion.
The blond shook that off. It didn’t matter right now. Right now, Ezio was more important, and Morgyn could just be late helping Elise today, or L could do it, or something. For someone that wasn’t any good at Untamed Magic, L seemed to have a decent grasp on its usage in theory, at least, and that’d be fine enough for right now. Frankly, concern about the blond’s status as a Sage didn’t even cross Morgyn’s mind at all. Ezio was more important. Instead, the blond shuffled up the stairs, moving around the side and tapping on the wood of Ezio’s door. He didn’t answer.
“Ezio?” Morgyn called. “Ezio, are you in here?” Morgyn paused a moment, listening. It was absolutely silent, for a moment, and then a loud crash sounded from the bathroom. Morgyn didn’t wait, shoving the door open and scooting around the stack of books beside the door and pulling the bathroom door open. Ezio was leaning too heavily on the bathroom counter, breathing erratic and heavy. The floor was coated in glass behind the door where one of the glass jars full of cotton balls had hit the tiling. Morgyn stepped around it, reaching out to pull Ezio away from the counter.
“Come on, not today,” the blond said quietly. “We can try again tomorrow, you need to go back to bed.” He clearly needed more rest or something, and Morgyn started sorting out what to bring up for him to eat, but one thing at a time.
It took a moment, but Ezio reached out with one hand, taking hold of Morgyn’s arm for stability, and let go of the counter. Like the blond had said to, he started towards the door, Morgyn gently guiding him around the glass shards. Morgyn then frowned and waved a hand at it, the glass pulling back together, the cotton balls going back to their place in the jar as it reformed. One foot gently nudged the reformed jar closer to the counter, out of the way, as the two of them meandered past it.
As soon as they were clear of the bathroom door, Morgyn moved a heeled foot and nudged the door closed behind them. “Do you want anything right this second?” Morgyn asked.
Ezio just breathed for a moment, and then shook his head.
“Okay,” Morgyn answered. “We’re almost there, you can do it.”
It was always at times like these, that just how strong Ezio was became obvious. It was awe-inspiring, at least to Morgyn, watching him struggle just to stand, but then the blond said something like that, his jaw set, his eyes hardened with determination, and he made it the last little bit. This time, however, he breathed in, jaw set, eyes hardened… and he shook his head. “Can’t,” he whispered, “not today.” And just like that, Ezio wobbled slightly, and then collapsed against Morgyn’s side.
The blond wasn’t expecting that, unfortunately, and squeaked, and they both crashed to the floor. “Ezio, no, come on,” Morgyn said, nudging him a little to the side. “Come on, yes you can.”
Ezio didn’t answer. After a few seconds, he stopped breathing for a moment, then unleashed a pained grunt, and curled up against Morgyn’s shoulder.
“Oh, oh you’re in pain, oh no, okay, alright.” Things hadn’t gotten this bad in a long time now, and Morgyn did not miss it. The blond blinked rapidly for a moment, trying not to break apart just yet. Morgyn had to get Ezio taken care of and Drake up here, first. Magic used to help calm this down, at least a little, but it’d stopped working so well, and only whatever Drake did made it quit now. They were running out of options.
“Okay, okay, I’ll get you up,” Morgyn said, nodding, not really to Ezio, and then shifted around under him, and attempted to get him up off the floor. That did not work well, and Morgyn went right back down onto the floor and huffed. “I forgot how heavy you are.” Most of Ezio’s body weight was muscle. He looked somewhat pudgy, sometimes, but it was all muscle, more that he had a stocky sort of build from years of hard work. Morgyn was spared that, thanks to being born female. “Drake! Drake!” He was the only one that could get Ezio up off the floor when he couldn’t hold his own weight anymore. Certainly, Morgyn’s delicate little lean muscles weren’t going to do it.
He seemed to be waiting for that, because Drake came in only a few moments later in a burst of black mist.
“I can’t get him up on my own,” Morgyn explained.
Drake didn’t ask anything else, just reached down and gathered Ezio up into his arms, and moved him across the room. As Drake got Ezio settled down in bed, Morgyn stood up and moved around the other side.
“He’s in pain,” Morgyn said.
“Yeah, I can see that,” Drake answered, reaching down and brushing some of Ezio’s hair out of his eyes. He was still breathing all wrong, his skin clammy and pale.
Ezio smiled slightly, reaching up and taking Drake’s hand.
Drake smiled back, a bit, his eyes closing to focus on calming Ezio’s heart back down. Ezio’s other hand reached for Morgyn, and the blond took it, kneeling down on the floor. Ezio’s breathing evened out, but as Morgyn looked up, the blond realised it was because Ezio had fainted. That wasn’t a good sign.
“Drake -“
“I know,” he answered, somewhat distractedly.
Morgyn took a breath in, features scrunching up in concern. The sting of tears came back, but Morgyn fought it off again. They were quiet, Morgyn trying to calm down, Drake focusing on making everything better. Morgyn hated this part. Drake probably did, too.
“Do you want anything?” Morgyn asked.
“A fifth of vodka,” Drake answered, snorting quietly.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Morgyn said.
“Yeah,” Drake replied. “Probably isn’t. You got any miracles?”
Morgyn snorted, reaching up with the hand Ezio wasn’t holding to very gently pet his cheek. “I wish I did.” They could use a miracle, now.
The worst of it had passed. Morgyn was glad for it, and somehow had managed not to break down into tears, at least, nowhere near Drake. As much as they understood one another’s feelings about it, when things like this happened, it was best not to share. Morgyn always figured, their frustration and panic would ultimately feed in a cycle, and perhaps it’d merely make everything worse. When Ezio wasn’t having one of these breakdowns, when it wasn’t obvious that Jackson was right, and Ezio was dying, whether they liked it or not, that seemed like a better time to face these issues and talk about things.
Yet, when things were going well and everything was okay, neither wanted to taint the peace with the emotions they stuffed into a proverbial corner and pretended weren’t there. They both hated this. There was no doubt about it. And maybe nothing really needed to be said. Because they turned to look at one another, and understood.
Morgyn quietly pulled Ezio’s door open, careful not to drop anything. There was a tall cup with a lid in one hand, the other hand carrying a bowl of lukewarm water and a washcloth. The blond reached out with a foot, and pulled the door closed, before moving over to one of Ezio’s side tables and setting the water down. Drake was draped half over Ezio, still clinging to his hand, like if he held on tightly enough, Ezio would get better. Morgyn gently rested a hand on his shoulder.
Drake sat up. Morgyn wordlessly handed him the lidded cup; it was a plasma fruit smoothie. Usually, after one of these, Drake needed the plasma, because he wore himself down a good deal doing it. Drake took the cup, and Morgyn picked the bowl of water up again, moving around to the other side and setting it down at that side table instead. Drake had already claimed one side, Morgyn would take the other.
“How is he?” Morgyn asked softly. The blond picked up the washcloth, squeezing the excess water out, and gently pressed it against Ezio’s forehead. He was still doing that clammy skin thing that he did sometimes.
“He’s stable,” Drake answered, taking a drink of the smoothie. “That’s the best I can hope for at the moment.”
Morgyn glanced sideways at him, then turned back to Ezio. The blond would have to comb through his hair later; it was getting too tangled, and if left alone, it’d eventually become enough of a mess, neither of them would easily be able to smooth it back out. He looked so peaceful like this, but if he was conscious, he might still be in pain.
No one in magic realm, or outside of it, as far as Morgyn knew, had learnt to heal with magic. They never needed it. The question wasn’t whether healing with magic could be done or not, the question was how difficult it’d be to figure out. Morgyn occasionally had thoughts in the direction of learning how to, but the problem was Morgyn was missing something. An understanding of something, magic, how the human body worked, both? It was difficult to say.
Either way, Morgyn wasn’t getting anywhere with it, and didn’t have the time to devote to it. There was even less of that time thing, now that Morgyn was a Sage, but the blond hadn’t been getting anywhere before. There was no sense in being upset about it now.
Sometimes, it just seemed hopeless, and at those times, Morgyn couldn’t stand the crushing weight of it. Ezio wasn’t getting better. He was getting worse.
“How are you doing?” Morgyn asked, setting the washcloth back into the water, and squeezing the excess out.
Drake snorted, glancing down at the floor. He didn’t answer for a moment, took another drink of the smoothie. “I hate this,” he said quietly. “You know, every time this happens, I think my heart almost stops too.”
Morgyn snorted softly, lips scrunching to one side. “Yeah, mine too,” the blond said. Someday, Ezio was going to be gone. Morgyn tried not to think about it. It wasn’t that special, anyway, everyone was dying every day, that was what humans did. All the same, it was a constant threat, and Morgyn could feel it drawing closer every day, every time one of these episodes happened. Morgyn might hate it, but it was what it was. An inevitability that Morgyn would be better off not expending the effort to fight, and yet every part of the blond wanted to.
When he was gone, Morgyn didn’t know what the hell the blond would do. For so long, they’d been each other’s best friend, the light they both followed when the night was too dark. Morgyn couldn’t imagine ever being that close to someone again. Morgyn didn’t think the blond ever would be.
Morgyn set the cloth back into the water, and then reached over and rested a hand against Ezio’s cheek for a moment. The sting of tears came back, and Morgyn’s hand dropped into the blond’s lap, a breath was drawn in, shaky and uncertain.
“I thought this would get easier,” Morgyn whispered. It seemed like it was getting harder. Maybe because, with each day that was like this, it was more and more obvious that Ezio was getting worse, and neither Morgyn or Drake knew how to stop it. Ezio was like a train that had fallen sideways across the train tracks, but the momentum was keeping it moving, scraping, grinding across the tracks to that destructive end somewhere further up ahead. If Morgyn had a choice, the blond would go to war with death itself if it meant Ezio never went anywhere Morgyn couldn’t follow him. But that would be terribly inefficient, wouldn’t it? Death came for everyone, eventually. Ezio, and Morgyn, would inevitably be no exception.
“I wish it would,” Drake said.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Morgyn said, leaning over and resting a cheek against Ezio’s hand. “I’m glad you’re here, and you can fix this.” It made things a little more tolerable, knowing that it wasn’t the end of everything. Ezio could get better, and Morgyn just had to get Drake.
Drake fell quiet, for a moment. “I don’t think I can for much longer,” he said, his voice quiet.
Morgyn sat back up. “What?” What was that supposed to mean?
“It’s getting harder to do this,” Drake explained. “Ezio’s responding to it less and less easily. It’s almost like it’s learning to fight me.”
“You don’t think he’d -“
“No,” Drake interrupted. “No, it’s not him. S’just getting harder. Almost like it’s progressing beyond me. Like I don’t understand enough about what’s going on to fix it, because flukes and happenstance aren’t good enough anymore.” Drake turned down to the floor again. Ezio needed something, and whatever that something was, Drake didn’t think either he or Morgyn had it anymore. Maybe they never did, they just had something that was good enough at the time. And now it simply wasn’t.
Morgyn’s vision blurred, looking at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?” Morgyn asked, voice barely a whisper.
Drake didn’t answer right away, shifting in his seat.
“Drake, what’s that mean?” It was louder that time. Drake still didn’t answer, like he didn’t know what words to use. “He’s not going to d -“
“No,” Drake said, tone sharp. “No,” he repeated, quieter, and then he took a breath in. “I don’t know. Maybe.” Even if he didn’t like it, he didn’t want to lie to Morgyn, either.
Morgyn didn’t answer. Then, a sob escaped, and then blond stood up and rushed out the door.
Down the stairs, heels clicking on the wood loudly due to the speed at which Morgyn flew down them, across the courtyard with the trees and the flowers. One of the floating candles moved out of Morgyn’s way, as the blond cut across the middle, skipping the stairs and simply jumping right over them. Morgyn didn’t even pause long enough to open the door that led outside, flinging a hand at it. The door crashed open, slamming into the cabinet to the side of it, the glass in both the cabinet and the door cracking.
Not far away, Simeon and L jumped slightly at the sound. The two sages exchanged a glance. L held her hand up, indicating the caster she was speaking with should wait a moment, and she shuffled over to Simeon. “What was that?” L asked.
“Looks like Morgyn,” Simeon answered, looking out the window. Simeon gave L a look. “You’re better at dealing with it when Morgyn has a moment.”
L sighed, and then turned around and followed the blond out the door.
It didn’t matter where Morgyn ended up. The blond just needed to be anywhere but there, listening to Ezio breathe weird, knowing that Drake was right even as everything in the sage rebelled against it. These, too, were demons Morgyn didn’t know how to fight. When did the blond get powerful enough to stop feeling so helpless?
Morgyn stopped somewhere random, arms wrapping around the blond’s frame. The world was a blur that didn’t matter anymore, the pain strong enough it was suffocating. Morgyn’s hands went up to the sage’s face, not bothering to wipe the tears that were falling too fast away, but instead trying to block the rest of the world out. Morgyn fell heavily into the grass, unleashed a strangled cry, and curled up. It wasn’t like Morgyn didn’t know this. Morgyn and Drake may not have ever put words to it before, but they knew, both of them. It still hurt, more than anything had ever hurt before, to hear someone put words to it. Knowing it, and hearing it, seemed to be two very different things.
The blond didn’t hear it, when heeled shoes rustled through the grass towards the sage, and stopped beside Morgyn. L didn’t expect Morgyn to respond like that, and wasn’t surprised when the blond didn’t register anything different. L didn’t say anything. Words were useless here. Instead, the older woman knelt down in the grass beside Morgyn, gently reaching over and resting her arms around the blond.
Morgyn startled slightly, but then registered who it was, turned around, and fell into L’s arms. The tears wouldn’t slow, but the pain had gripped the blond’s heart and not let go. Morgyn had been fighting it so long, now that it had started, it seemed impossible to stop it. Morgyn didn’t care anymore.
L didn’t ask anything, simply shifted around, gently petting Morgyn’s hair, rocking just slightly. She wouldn’t say pointless things like it’d all be okay, because right now, maybe it wouldn’t be. Everything went away, and all things faded with time, but now, when it was fresh and it hurt the most, no, it wouldn’t be okay.
It took some time, as all things did. Steadily, Morgyn calmed down a little, the sobs and hiccups became less pronounced, and the blond seemed to be able to breathe again. L leaned to one side, wiping the blackened tear tracks from Morgyn’s cheeks. “What was that?” she asked softly.
Morgyn looked away. “Ezio,” was the short response.
“Ah,” L said. From time to time, Ezio’s something or other acted up. Everyone that spent a lot of time in magic realm knew it, and frankly, L had known for a long time now that Ezio was dying. The problem, of course, in this instance was that Morgyn had yet to come to terms with and accept it. How could the blond, anyway? Ezio was the other half of Morgyn, just as Morgyn was the other half of Ezio. L didn’t know what would happen, when Ezio finally passed on, but she was willing to bet Morgyn would never be the same again.
“There has to be something,” Morgyn said. “I can’t just sit here and wait for it to happen, I have to do something.”
“And what is that, exactly?” L asked. “Morgyn, sometimes these things just happen, and there’s nothing -“
“No!” Morgyn snapped. “Don’t tell me that!”
L went quiet, releasing a quiet breath. She reached over, brushing Morgyn’s hair back.
“Please, just tell me it’ll be okay,” Morgyn whispered.
L’s gaze softened. “Someday,” she whispered back, “it will be okay.” But there would be days in between, days that Morgyn most certainly was not okay, and neither was anything in the blond’s life okay. There would be days where Morgyn didn’t know what to do without Ezio, that were unbearably painful for the hole where Ezio used to be. There would be days where Morgyn almost couldn’t be bothered to move forward because Ezio wasn’t there. Maybe that loss would never really go away. Maybe Morgyn would just get used to it.
Morgyn’s features scrunched up in hurt again, the blond’s gaze turning down to the grass. “I don’t know what I’ll do without him,” Morgyn whispered.
“I know,” L said. “He’s not gone yet, you know.”
“It hurts just the same,” Morgyn said. “I don’t know what would hurt more, having this last bit of time with him and watching him come apart, or not being able to say goodbye and build good memories before he goes.”
“Comparing hurt like that isn’t a very fair thing to do,” L said. “Pain is pain. And pain hurts. People will use that against you, sometimes. Try to tell you that because, objectively, something you went through wasn’t as bad as something they did, the hurt you experience from it is overdramatic and invalid. Don’t ever fall to that idea, even to yourself, in ways that seem harmless. Hurt is hurt.”
Morgyn didn’t answer, simply curled up further.
L released a sigh. “Maybe you should stay upstairs and read today,” she said.
“No,” Morgyn answered. “I need the distraction.”
“Is it a distraction, or are you running from it?” L asked.
Morgyn didn’t answer right away. Morgyn didn’t know the answer right away. It seemed logical that Morgyn was running from it, in a way. The blond did have a habit of running from things that didn’t make sense, or that the sage didn’t like, and nothing was more uncomfortable for Morgyn than emotions. This was especially true in the case of the emotional muddle that the blond felt about Ezio and his illness, whatever it was. Then, the blond sat up, brushing tears away, and sniffling. “Yes,” the blond said. Most likely, if Morgyn had to take a guess, it was a little bit of both a distraction, and running away from it. Morgyn still didn’t like Jackson, but he was right about one thing. Sometimes, the only thing to do was run away from it.
“There’s no telling how much longer Ezio will make it, Morgyn,” L said. “He could make it several more years. He’s been like this for so long already.”
“I know,” Morgyn said. “At the same time, that’s why it’s so likely that he’s going to slip. Because he’s already made it so long, and you’ve seen it, he’s getting worse and worse over time. Drake… Drake said he doesn’t know if he can keep fixing it anymore. And then what do we do?”
L didn’t have an answer for that.
Morgyn took a breath, looking back down at the grass. “Sometimes, all I can handle is the next step. Whatever seems to be the best immediate next decision. Because any further than that, and it all just seems too overwhelming. And maybe that means I’m running from it. But it keeps me moving, all the same.”
L was quiet, for a moment, and then reached over and took Morgyn’s hands. “One step at a time, right?” she asked.
Morgyn looked up at her. “Yeah,” the blond said. “One step at a time.”
Ezio was awake, now. Morgyn was glad for it, even if it was a little concerning. Morgyn supposed, if it was too early for him to be awake, he wouldn’t be, but Morgyn had known human bodies and brains to be very stupid at times. The blond couldn’t do anything more than hope and trust that Ezio’s body knew what it was doing and what it needed, but Morgyn still worried. Still, it was easier to feed him and make sure he was getting enough water when he was awake to eat and drink things himself.
Drake was taking a break, out on the dueling island meditating in peace. The morning’s tasks fell instead to Morgyn, and Ezio was going to be in bed for a few more days, probably. Jackson had decided, to Morgyn’s annoyance, to suspend his leaving for Sulani a few days, until Ezio felt better and could see him off. It was probably for the best, because if he took off while Ezio was still stuck in bed, Morgyn would probably be tempted to fry him for that, too. Then again, just about anything Jackson did would make Morgyn want to fry him. Bluntly put, Morgyn was disappointed that past Morgyn hadn’t done it.
Morgyn secretly wondered if a drunken Jackson would burn easier than a sober one. (Probably not.)
In any case, Morgyn had gotten breakfast together, since Ezio couldn’t come downstairs for it, and headed up the stairs. Ezio should be honoured or something, it wasn’t every day one got breakfast in bed brought up to them by Morgyn of all people. Well, Ezio was special like that. Morgyn turned the corner, tapping softly on the wood of Ezio’s door.
“Come in,” Ezio answered. His voice was a little quieter than usual, but otherwise he sounded okay.
Morgyn got the door open, and closed it. “Good morning,” Morgyn greeted, trying to sound more cheerful than the blond felt. “I’ve got breakfast, I hope you have an appetite.”
Ezio snorted softly. “A bit of one, at least,” he answered. “Good morning.”
“Well, there’s toast, some grapes and apple slices, scrambled egg whites, and green tea, two sugars, splash of milk. No mint this time, though.”
“That’s okay,” Ezio answered, sitting up.
Morgyn carefully leaned over and set the tray in Ezio’s lap, making sure it wasn’t going to spill, and then pulled his desk chair out and sat down. “How are you feeling?”
“Tired all the time,” Ezio replied, munching on the apples. “I just woke up, but I think I could lay down and go back to sleep.”
“Yeah, you’re usually tired after episodes like that one.” It was a fairly serious incident. Morgyn was still trying not to think about it. The particular weird way he’d been breathing was highly alarming and Morgyn wasn’t sure the blond would be able to get over it anytime soon.
“It was a bad one?” Ezio asked.
“You don’t remember?”
“Not really, no,” Ezio said. “I remember getting up and thinking something about the bathroom, but I don’t remember what I went in there for, or anything after that.”
Morgyn frowned a bit. He’d apparently been more out of it than Morgyn had thought. Either that, or Drake had done something so that he wouldn’t remember. Of course, he had blacked out, that could’ve caused it but… Morgyn didn’t know enough about these things to figure that out. The lacking understanding was becoming more and more frustrating.
“Well, you collapsed against the counter,” Morgyn said. “I came up when one of the glass jars crashed to the floor, and tried to get you back to bed, and you couldn’t hold your own weight. I had to get Drake to come get you, because you collapsed onto me in such a way I couldn’t get you off me on my own.”
“Sorry about that,” Ezio said, wincing slightly.
“It’s not your fault,” Morgyn answered. “You passed out after that, but Drake got it calmed down and you slept.”
“I see,” Ezio said. “Thanks, for breakfast, by the way. You didn’t have to.”
“I know,” Morgyn said. “It’s easier on you not to have to come down. You should stay in bed and rest, and until you really feel better this time, okay? Your books will still be there when you do, they’re not going anywhere, promise.”
Ezio sighed. Morgyn was right, and he knew it. He simply nodded once, popping a grape into his mouth. He seemed to pull into himself a little, as he chewed.
Morgyn frowned, and then started to wonder what Jackson had done that morning. No. There was no sense in jumping to conclusions. Maybe it had nothing to do with Jackson at all, and if Morgyn was pissed off, it was hard to think straight and be of any use. “What’s on your mind?” Morgyn asked, instead.
Ezio glanced up at the blond, and then shrugged. “Just some stuff.”
Morgyn smiled a little. “You can tell me anything, you know?”
“I know,” Ezio answered. “It’s just.” He paused, releasing a breath. “I think I have to figure them out myself, first, before I can explain them to you.”
“Ohh,” Morgyn said. “I understand. Whenever you do, I’m here, if you want to talk, okay?”
“Yeah,” Ezio said, smiling at the blond.
“I’ll let you eat,” Morgyn said, standing up and sliding the chair back into place. “If you need anything, I’ll be out on the balcony right over there. Drake’s at the duelling ground, so he may be a bit harder to get the attention of.”
“Okay,” Ezio answered. Interestingly, as Morgyn stood up, Ezio noticed that Morgyn’s hair was loose and a little frizzier than usual, and the blond wasn’t wearing makeup. “Hey, no makeup again?”
Morgyn paused, and smiled. “Yeah, not today,” the blond answered. “Sometimes, being less girly is a nice feeling.”
“You do seem more relaxed like that,” Ezio said.
“I feel it, too,” Morgyn said. “I raided your closet the other day, by the way. I borrowed a bunch of your shirts. I’ll bring them back later. I’ll even wash them first, how nice of me, right?”
Ezio laughed softly. “Oh dear, that’s almost too much. You’re always welcome to raid my closet though. Not like I care.”
“If you’re sure about that,” Morgyn said.
“Yeah, I don’t mind. If you’re comfortable with it, that’s good. If you’re happier, then that’s even better. Have a good day, okay?”
“I’ll try,” Morgyn said, turning to leave. The blond stopped again, partway to the door. “Oh, I almost forgot,” Morgyn said, turning back around. “I have some things to do in the normal world later, so I won’t be here the day after tomorrow. You’ll have to depend on Drake and L, I guess.”
The normal world? What would Morgyn need to do outside magic realm? Ezio went out there all the time now, though. He couldn’t say anything, and yet for some reason, he got the strongest feeling of dread.
“Okay,” he said. He knew better than to try talking Morgyn out of something, anyway. It was needless stress right now. Morgyn was perfectly capable of self-defence, and would likely be just fine. Maybe his nerves were just running away with him.
Morgyn smiled again, and then headed out the door. The dread that settled in the pit of Ezio’s stomach became stronger, but he ignored it. He should just focus on feeling better.
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