Chapter 31: More Time to Never Understand
Between Two Points, The Glitch Mob ft. Swan
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It smelled like Morgyn in his room. That made sense. It wasn’t like Morgyn hadn’t been sleeping in his room for the last few days, but it still somehow caught him by surprise, and Ezio ended up moving back out into the living room. He couldn’t deal with the scent right now. He still didn’t know what he felt.
Was he angry? Maybe he was. Maybe Morgyn was right, and Ezio was just holding onto things that he shouldn’t be holding onto, letting things hurt him that he shouldn’t be letting hurt him. Ezio liked to think that he was living every moment of every day like it was his last, because someday he’d be right, with or without his heart quitting on him. Maybe he was just using that as an excuse not to think about anything too hard. It wasn’t like he understood anything going on in his head half the time, mostly because it was just easier to ignore it. Life didn’t stop just because he’d had a bad time once a long time ago, and Ezio thought he was moving past it. Ezio thought he was living his life anyway, in spite of the people and things that had tried to keep him from doing so over the years.
How did you come to terms with the reality that everything you thought you knew, even the one thing you thought was a stable, safe thing, something you didn’t have to question, might well be well-told lies? Ezio didn’t know.
Drake was still in the office. It was for the best, because Ezio didn’t think he could handle dealing with Morgyn’s shit and his now hazy internal concept of a relationship he didn’t expect to ever change on him. And he still knew, of course, that the relationship itself hadn’t changed. It just felt different. Maybe it was different because how he felt about it had changed. Despite not wanting to, wanting to just go on like everything was exactly how it’d been a week ago, he still kept thinking what if, what if, what if… because even as he said he was fine with how things were, god if he didn’t want, and always had. Because even as Drake was right there, Ezio still missed him, longed for him, almost, and it was stupid and selfish and there was no point, and then…
Suddenly, there was a point. It was like someone had opened a window in a dark room, and the sunlight had spilled out across the charred floorboards and broken tile, and for once, Ezio could see the patterns in the shards of tile, the grains in the wood, how they made swirls and twists and knots and everything was different and nothing had changed at all. It was the same room that it’d always been, with the same things that had always been there. But for once, Ezio was seeing it.
Ezio turned down towards the cup in his hands. Warm tea always had a way of making everything better, but all it did was tell him, in not so many words, that everything changed, just as it all stayed the same. He’d get past this, sooner or later. He’d get past the nervousness, and how his heart seemed to leap into his throat whenever he saw Drake or heard him moving around, he’d settle back down into the easy co-existence they’d been in before, but for right now, in this exact moment, Ezio was hyper-aware of him, and hyper-aware of how much his heart hurt.
But even when Morgyn shoved knives into it, Ezio still kept handing the idiot his heart, and probably always would. Morgyn slipped up, like Morgyn tended to do, because the blond ran off at the mouth without thinking more often than not. One would think that with age, that particular habit would’ve been curbed some, but it didn’t seem that way. Maybe Morgyn would always be that way, and Ezio would always be having to remember it.
It was always Ezio curbing his pain to make Morgyn feel better, and even when he did, it felt like it wasn’t good enough.
Ezio tried to tell himself that wasn’t what Morgyn meant. He knew that. He knew it, in the way he didn’t have to think about the words, but it didn’t stop him from feeling like that. Logic and feelings, of course, they never worked very well together, like oil and water didn’t. Ezio could tell himself all he wanted that Morgyn didn’t mean it that way, but his heart would still clench up and squeeze when things like this happened and Morgyn inevitably said what Morgyn said, and Ezio felt what he felt.
Maybe the worst part of it was reacting the way that he did, and seeing that it was the wrong way to react even as he did it, and not be able to stop it. Morgyn wasn’t his enemy. Morgyn was all he had, aside from Drake. And that was why he didn’t talk about his feelings, because they were stupid and nonsensical, and he really should be over this shit by now, it was probably a personal failing, some form of weakness or something that made him still feel the sharp sting when someone said the wrong name, that made him panic for just a moment when he heard screaming.
And it was all just… in his head.
Ezio breathed out, leaning against the counter as he was. The steam from his tea moved around in the air as he did so, and then he could sense, rather than heard, Morgyn on the other side of the door. Morgyn had so much nervous energy out there it was leaking under the door, but Ezio stayed where he was, waiting. He just wanted to see if Morgyn would make it past this part. Ezio’s anger could be a rather bitter thing, Ezio knew that, but he’d never been angry in the first place. Ezio mostly just felt lost and confused.
Morgyn stood out there for a long moment, and then paced around in a circle for another long moment, and then went to go back across the hall. Ezio let out another sigh, pushed off the counter, and went to the door, pulling it open. Morgyn froze in the middle of the hallway.
Ezio just stared at the idiot for a few moments. The eyeshadow covered it for the most part, but he’d spent all night crying off and on, and Morgyn looked like the idiot hadn’t slept at all. They were ridiculous.
“Come in, idiot,” Ezio said, breathing out and moving away from the door. Ezio turned around and moved back into the kitchen. “Coffee?” he asked.
But he didn’t get words in response, as Morgyn bolted across the hallway and in the door, crashing into Ezio’s back, arms wrapping around him tightly, like Morgyn was afraid if the blond didn’t hold him tight enough, he’d fly away.
Ezio stopped, looking down at Morgyn’s hands, and then reached down and patted those hands with one of his own.
“I’m sorry,” Morgyn whispered. “I am so, so sorry, I don’t know why I said that, and I’m sorry, and I know now, why I keep hurting you and how. Caleb told me about it. I don’t know if I understand it exactly, maybe I never will, and I can’t promise I’ll ever be good at this but I’ll try. For you. But I can’t… Ezio I can’t stand it. When you talk about certain things, it’s like you become someone else, and I can’t stand the hurt and the confusion in your voice and I want to pull it all out and make everything okay again and I don’t think really well when it’s like that in my head. I don’t think I think, I think I just react.”
Ezio drew a breath in, looking up at the ceiling. Yeah, he knew this. Morgyn wasn’t much of a mystery, most of the time, at least, not to him. But Ezio also listened to the silence. Ezio shook his head, more to himself, and set his teacup on the counter, turning around and detaching Morgyn from around his waist.
“Hey,” he said softly, reaching up and taking Morgyn’s face in his hands. “You’re my twin, Morgyn. I will never be so angry with you that I won’t talk to you, or that I don’t want to see you anymore or I don’t have time for you. Sometimes I just need to be alone for a little while, that’s all. Okay?”
Morgyn’s face scrunched up, and the blond loosed a quiet whine. “You’re allowed to be mad at me.”
“I’m not,” Ezio said. “I wasn’t even mad last night.”
Morgyn looked worried, but then glanced at the wall, and then asked, “So, how did you feel, then?”
Ezio shrugged a shoulder, letting Morgyn go, and taking his teacup again. “Confused, mostly.”
“About what?” Morgyn shuffled around the kitchen, setting the coffee pot to making anti-Morgyn-murder liquid, and then settled down at the dining room table.
Drawing a breath in, Ezio settled down on the other side of the table. “Why you’d say that to me, I think,” he said. “It just seemed like a weird thing to say at the time. In hindsight, I’m not really sure. About either of those things.”
Morgyn snorted. “Because I’m an im – … um. Yeah I can see that.”
Ezio glanced over at the blond. Morgyn was acting just a little bit weird today, but then he supposed Morgyn would be, after the mess that was last night. There were water stains in his room from the ice, now. He hadn’t lost control of it in a long time, so he didn’t really anticipate that being a problem, and he wasn’t sure how he was going to get that out, or explain it to the landlord. Whatever. One thing at a time here.
“Thank you,” Ezio said, reaching across the table and taking Morgyn’s hand.
“For what?” Morgyn asked.
“For trying to understand.”
Morgyn smiled slightly, head ducking for a moment. “You still mean the world to me, you know?” the blond said.
Ezio smiled too, for a moment, and the two sat in silence, only the sound of the coffee pot gurgling and spitting breaking the silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, though. A quiet hissing sound caught Ezio’s attention, between taking a drink of his tea and setting the cup back down, and his eyes immediately went to Morgyn. The blond’s face was scrunched up in pain, head tilted to one side.
“Are you okay?” Ezio asked.
“Fine,” Morgyn said, “just fine. Just had a headache off and on for a while now, couple days I think.”
“You shouldn’t be having headaches that long, Morgs,” Ezio said, sounding concerned. He set the cup down on the table, finally. “How bad is it?”
“Not very,” Morgyn answered. “Don’t worry so much. It’ll go away eventually, and probably on its own.”
Ezio frowned. Maybe not, but he didn’t say that. Instead, he stood up and let Morgyn’s hand go to rummage through one of the drawers in the kitchen. When he came back to the table, he handed Morgyn a bottle.
“This is a pain killer,” he said. “Just take one, and if it doesn’t make the pain more tolerable, take another. Don’t take more than two, you can damage your kidneys.”
Morgyn snorted, taking the bottle. “Nothing damages my kidneys, my kidneys damage other things.”
“That’s not how that works,” Ezio said, smiling just slightly in amusement. “Honestly, Morgyn, what am I going to do with you?”
“Roll your eyes at me a lot and call me an idiot,” Morgyn answered.
Morgyn was probably right about that. As the blond got up, getting a glass of water to take the pain killer with, Ezio couldn’t help but wonder, if this had anything to do with the warning that Makana had given him.
The storm has come.
* * *
They talked about nothing. They talked about everything. They talked about things that didn’t really matter, things that could’ve mattered once and didn’t quite make it, things that they should’ve brought up a long time ago but never found the time for. And when, again, the conversation turned to things that Ezio had a hard time with, Morgyn made sure to try not to talk over him, and in turn, Ezio tried to talk.
“You’ve tried explaining it before,” Morgyn said, idly painting the blond’s toenails on the living room floor. They were red, of course. “But I still don’t really get it, so, the thing with you and Drake?”
Ezio looked at the blond with uncertainty, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to try saying anything at all.
“I just want to understand,” Morgyn said. And it was true. Now that Morgyn was trying to understand and Ezio was talking about anything at all, Morgyn wanted to hear everything he had to say. Because it wasn’t until his voice came back that Morgyn realised that it’d been missed. When they were kids, of course, life was simpler, both the era and their lives in general, their minds were simpler, everything was easier, and they told each other everything.
No one knew Ezio like Morgyn did. Or at least, no one should. That was, maybe, not so accurate anymore, and Morgyn found that the blond hated that realisation. And yet had no one else to blame for it.
Ezio shrugged a shoulder, looking down at his lap. “Drake and I are really complicated,” he said. “A lot more complicated than it seems like, and I don’t know if I even really understand why. I love him, and I don’t mean that I’m in love with him, you know? I got past that stage a long time ago. I mean I love him, because when he’s here, it’s like I’ve come home. But he was also a kind of safe that I think I sort of idealised a little, and now I don’t know what to do with the idea that I had in my head. I know, still, nothing changes, not really, but it’s like there are details and things that I’ve never seen before. It’s like not being able to see the colour red, and then suddenly you can, and the whole world is exactly the same as it was before, but is absolutely different.”
Morgyn frowned, slightly. The blond couldn’t say that made any sense, but then Morgyn supposed the blond was a little privileged, in that sense. To never have had someone or something challenge the blond’s worldview that way, even on a small scale like this. Maybe it was a little jarring, though Morgyn still didn’t really get it.
“He’s exactly the same as he was before,” Ezio said. “But now I’m seeing a part of him that I didn’t even know was there. It’s sort of embarrassing, not to realise that it was there, but I just figured he was ace or something. Nothing wrong with being ace. But he isn’t, and he sees me in a way I don’t think I want him to? Ugh, not really. That’s not really what I mean but I don’t know the words for it.”
Morgyn released a breath, reaching over and taking Ezio’s hand. He was sitting up on the couch, mostly fiddling with his fingernails. “I think that’s okay,” Morgyn said. “Not to know the words for it, I mean.”
Ezio smiled, then drew a breath in. “I want to understand it,” Ezio said. “You and I are a lot alike in this way. When something changes like this, we both react the same way, fundamentally. We both want to understand how and why that thing changed, and figure out how the new puzzle pieces fit into our lives and it’s a hard thing to figure out sometimes. Like I said yesterday, Drake is my rock, always has been. And now I just kind of have to reconcile the Drake that I had in my head with the one that’s here now, and this is entirely a me problem and I think this is a little unfair. It doesn’t really change how I feel about it, it just means that now I feel like a shitty friend to him because this is all it takes to throw me into a state of internal chaos over him. Can I even say I love him right now?”
“Of course you can,” Morgyn said. “Don’t say that. It’s just -” the blond paused. Should that even be said? Maybe this part wasn’t really Morgyn’s place. It was hard to sort out what was okay to say and what wasn’t in this sort of thing. Caleb was right. It was kind of a learnt skill. “I think maybe you just spent a long time only seeing him, and not all the other extraneous things. And now you have to remember that he’s not… he’s more human than you really think about?” Was that even right?
But, Ezio sighed, and tilted his head, resting it against his shoulder. “Yeah, something like that. It’s all really kind of silly when I think about it and break everything down.”
“What are you going to do now?” Morgyn asked.
“I don’t know,” Ezio answered. “I don’t want anything to change, but I really want things to change. I guess I have to figure out which one is stronger or something like that. It’s kind of like you and Caleb, I guess. Things have been a certain way for so long that I think I’m afraid if I move in any one direction, everything could fall apart. You know? Like it’s all thin crystal balanced on the edge of a knife, and one move the wrong way will send it crashing to the floor. I’m so scared of losing him.”
“Oh honey,” Morgyn whispered, squeezing Ezio’s hand. And then kind of debated what to say right there. The knee-jerk instinct that Morgyn had was maybe not the right one, maybe it was invalidating. The conflict must’ve shown in Morgyn’s eyes, because Ezio sat up, leaned over and kissed the blond’s forehead.
“Go ahead and say it,” he said. “I can see it anyway.”
Morgyn snorted. “I think, if any couple can get through this change without losing each other, it’ll be you two.”
Ezio blinked like that wasn’t what he was expecting. “I. Thank you. That really means a lot.”
“I’m not just saying it,” Morgyn said, shrugging. “I’ve always been really envious of you and Drake. How easily you two fit together. Like you’re really one puzzle piece that just looks like it should separate and doesn’t. I wanted that, you know, for Caleb and I, but I don’t think we’ll ever get there, because I’m not like you. Caleb and I, we’re still learning each other’s language somehow, this long of knowing each other later, but then maybe I never really tried to – this is getting away from me. The point is, trust in you two. Trust in what you have. Trust each other, Ezio. What was it you said to me? You will never know what it is to fly, if you never leave the ground?”
Ezio snorted, and started to say something, but stopped as Morgyn winced and raised a hand to the blond’s temple. “Again?” Ezio asked, reaching over to gently rest his hands on Morgyn’s hair.
“Yeah,” Morgyn answered, face scrunched up in pain. “Kind of feels like there’s a midget back there with a jackhammer, you know?”
“Oo, yeah I know how those feel,” Ezio said. “When did you take that pain killer?”
“Couple hours ago, I think,” Morgyn answered. “It’s fine, I’ll just make some chamomile tea and lay down for a bit or something. It’s probably just a tension headache.”
“Yeah, maybe,” Ezio allowed. “If you’re sure about that, then, alright.”
“Hey, don’t worry so much,” Morgyn said. “You’re supposed to be keeping your stress levels down anyway.”
“Hard to do that with you around,” Ezio answered wryly.
“Hey,” Morgyn protested. “You’re right, but hey.”
Ezio snorted softly, a soft huff that was almost a laugh.
“That’s better,” Morgyn said. “Ezio, I think if we’re going to stay together, we’re going to have to talk to each other. And I don’t mean just about things that happen, and things that happened a long time ago, I mean when things go wrong. I’m stupid, okay? I need you to tell me when I’m doing things that hurt you, because I don’t necessarily know, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
Ezio blinked, and then shook his head, looking down at his lap. “I don’t want to hurt you, either, or make you feel bad about it. It’s not like you do these things on purpose.”
“And that’s even worse, Ezio,” Morgyn said. “Because you can’t really be mad about it, it’s not like I’m doing it on purpose. I do know you sometimes, you know.” Morgyn reached up, wincing in pain, and gently brushed some of Ezio’s hair out of his eyes. “I shouldn’t be hurting you. And I want to be here for you like you’re always here for me.”
Ezio breathed in, and let it go. “I don’t know if I can always tell you.”
“That’s okay,” Morgyn said, standing up and wincing again. “Whatever you can and want to tell me, I would like to hear. Tell you what,” Morgyn started, holding out a pinky finger, “you try and talk to me, and I’ll try and listen when you do. I wanna get this right.”
Ezio looked up at the blond for a moment, eyeing the offered finger, then hooked one of his in it. “Okay,” Ezio said. “I think I can do that.”
* * *
Things weren’t perfect between them. There was still a lot that Ezio had kept behind his teeth and maybe he always would. Some of those hurts, maybe he felt like they were his, right now, his little fractured gems, imperfectly beautiful things that shimmered in the light and threw colour all over the walls. Someday, maybe he’d feel brave enough to share the particular colours those gemstones made with other people. Morgyn, or Drake, maybe. But right now, they were his. His to turn around in his fingers in the light and try and puzzle out.
But Morgyn was listening, or at least, trying to, for now. Time would tell how long Morgyn Impetuous Ember could manage to continue listening instead of trying to cut straight to the heart of a problem like the semantics didn’t matter, and maybe for Morgyn they didn’t. Morgyn wasn’t Ezio. Though they looked so much alike, they really were their own people, no one could say they weren’t.
There were similarities between them, interests that they both had, habits they both had, good and bad ones. But they communicated in completely different ways, and Ezio didn’t think that would ever entirely change. Ezio knew that Morgyn didn’t tend to focus on things like understanding the emotions and motivations behind something. That wasn’t important to the blond, most of the time, and Ezio tried to be understanding of it. It didn’t change the reality that it was hurtful, just like it was probably frustrating and annoying when Ezio didn’t seem interested in fixing anything, just in complaining.
Sooner or later, Morgyn would get impatient again, and stop listening. And presumably, they’d eventually be right back here, because as much as Morgyn had asked him to say something when the blond was hurting him, it didn’t really matter in the end. Ezio couldn’t fairly ask Morgyn to change because of him, right? This whole thing was really Ezio’s problem, and not Morgyn’s anyway. If he was just less sensitive about it, if he just quit expecting Morgyn to act like someone that wasn’t Morgyn, if he just… it felt like he was going around in circles in his head about this. Maybe he was.
And still, he had no more idea what to do with the situation with Drake than he did before. His relationship with Cassandra might’ve also just gotten more complicated, but then maybe not. He supposed that depended on them. Drake probably wouldn’t complain about it too much, but before Ezio brought that up, they needed to establish relationships with each other and figure out what they were to one another in pairs, without the added complications of polyamory. He and Cassandra may not last very long, anyway, it was hard to say exactly, and Ezio wasn’t generally very good at such guesswork.
Something seemed really off, too, he noticed that sensation a few hours ago, when Morgyn had gone to go lay down. That feeling like a dam was just about to break, or that a storm was just about to unleash, Ezio was getting that feeling a lot nowadays, and judging by the things Makana had been warning him about for three decades now, it was probably safe to assume that whatever was coming was a lot bigger than Ezio’s non-existent love-life issues.
Kassander hadn’t said anything, but then, Kassander usually tried to keep his snout out of other people’s business unless given no other choice, or the vampire race was threatened somehow. Of course, given this was happening again, he did have to wonder if Aine was still involved; if she’d been messing around with vampires back then like he suspected, it was entirely possible that she’d run amiss of the father of vampires, and Ezio really didn’t want to be on that guy’s bad side, that was for sure.
“Ezio?” Morgyn’s voice came from the doorway.
Ezio glanced up at it, smiling slightly. Morgyn’s hair was a mess like the blond had been tossing and turning a lot, hands under a blanket wrapped around Morgyn’s shoulders. “Do you need anything?” he asked.
“A thicker blanket, or maybe like a hoodie or something, both?” Morgyn said, and then winced. “Sorry, I don’t know, I’m just really cold.”
Ezio’s eyes narrowed slightly, but he stood up. “Stay right there,” he said, shuffling into the bathroom, and going through the medicine cabinet. When he came back, he uncapped a thermometer, and held it out. “Hold this under your tongue.”
“What?” Morgyn asked. “What for?”
“Just do it okay?” Ezio said.
Morgyn didn’t look so sure about it, but eventually took it and set it under the blond’s tongue.
Ezio was watching the digital read-out on it. Morgyn usually ran a little hot anyway, but it went up to 98.9, and stopped. “Well, you’re not running a fever, at least,” Ezio said, taking the thermometer back from Morgyn, and going back into the bathroom with it. He spent a moment washing it off, and then capped it and put it back in the cabinet. “So I guess you just have a headache and cold chills for unknown reasons at the moment.”
“Why were you looking for a fever?” Morgyn asked.
“If you had one, you might’ve had the flu,” Ezio said. “Would’ve given me a better idea of how to deal with this. You’re not nauseous or anything, are you?”
Morgyn’s head shook silently.
“Okay,” Ezio said. “Well, you left your suitcase at Caleb’s, didn’t you?”
“I did yeah,” Morgyn said. “I should probably go get it, I just figured you probably had a spare blanket or-“
“No, go lay down,” Ezio said. “I’ll go get it.”
“Are you sure?” Morgyn asked, but Ezio was already turning the blond around and nudging Morgyn back into the bedroom.
“Rest,” Ezio said. “And maybe I can get your boyfriend to make consomme again.”
Morgyn flushed pink. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend usually implies dating, you two are dating, he’s your boyfriend,” Ezio said, sitting Morgyn down on the bed. Then, Ezio leaned over and pulled a box out from under the bedframe, taking the lid off and handing a bundle of fabric to Morgyn. “This should help for right now,” he said. “Until I come back at least. Just, lie down and rest okay?” For Morgyn to be having a headache for this long, right now, it just seemed a little too perfect. He was worried, but he was trying not to show it. Morgyn didn’t need to be getting stressed out right now, on the off chance there was more to this than it seemed like.
Ezio moved around the room, casting a quick spell on the side lamp, to dim the light. As he made his way back to the bedroom door, Mayor Whiskers scampered out after him. Ezio stopped, turning around and kneeling down. “Mayor, do me a favour, okay?” he said. Mayor’s ears pricked up. “Watch over Morgyn for me while I’m gone.”
As Ezio turned back around and headed out the front door, Mayor turned around too, facing Morgyn, and sat down, watching the blond rest while Ezio went across the hallway.
He barely had the chance to touch the door before Caleb was opening it. “What is that?” Caleb immediately asked.
“I’m just here for Morgyn’s suitcase,” Ezio replied.
“No, I know you can sense that,” Caleb said, insistent. “What is it?”
For a moment, Ezio looked at him like he’d lost it, but then he started sensing around. All he could really sense were the other spellcasters scattered around San Myshuno, the little clusters of vampires, that sense of wrongness… “The wrongness?” Ezio asked.
“Yeah, sort of something like that,” Caleb said.
“I don’t know,” Ezio answered. “Did Morgyn have a headache last night or the day before?”
Caleb looked thoughtful, shuffling away from the door, and handing Ezio Morgyn’s suitcase when he came back. “It started that night we went out, I think, but it was barely a ding on the radar,” Caleb said. “And then yesterday it just got really bad, and this morning it was so bad Morgyn took a few hours to get up.”
Ezio frowned. The feeling of dread came back, stronger than before, but he still wasn’t sure what to do with that. Somehow, he just knew this and the wrongness were related to each other, but he had no idea how. Of course, he did have a decent idea of how to figure it out.
“Thanks,” Ezio said. “Hey, would you mind making consomme again? Morgyn’s having cold chills now too.”
“Fever?” Caleb asked.
“No,” Ezio answered, shaking his head. “Just cold for some odd reason.”
“That’s odd, then,” Caleb said.
“It’s what we’ve got to work with, though,” Ezio said. “Just come by whenever, I’ll leave the door unlocked. Oh, could I get you to stay over for a few hours later? I need to go somewhere, and I don’t want to leave Morgyn alone.”
“Alright,” Caleb said, nodding. “Just come by and get me whenever.”
Ezio smiled. “Hey, it’ll be okay,” he said. But if asked, he couldn’t say if he was saying that for Caleb’s benefit, or for his own.
* * *
As soon as Caleb was over, and Drake was caught up on the situation at hand, Ezio decided it was okay to leave. Mayor, as it happened, had not moved from his spot on the floor, where he sat watching Morgyn drift in and out of fitful sleep, and with the three of them watching Morgyn, Ezio felt like it was safe to go.
Quietly, he scuttled into the bathroom, closed the door behind him, and pulled out his Glimmerstone. It shimmered strangely in the light, as always it did, and Ezio flicked the hand holding it, causing it to emit a soft blue glow, and then held it up. He murmured the words, and the stone loosed a bright blue flash, but for some reason it felt wrong, like there was something in its way.
And then, he could hear the sounds of rushing water, the falling pieces of broken island that were scattered all over magic realm. Ezio glanced around, and at first, everything looked the same, but then he started listening, and, louder than he remembered it, Ezio could hear the screeching from somewhere out there, beyond the realm’s islands. In a way it didn’t do before, the sound of the screeching set all of his nerves on edge. It sounded, it felt, like a warning. It hadn’t before. Not like this.
Something was wrong. As he stood there, looking around and trying to get a handle on what had changed and what was still the same, the sense of dread that he was becoming too familiar with now settled into the pit of his stomach. Ezio blinked, and when he opened his eyes again, he had a sharp, stabbing headache to one side. Though he couldn’t quite pinpoint what it was, and where it was coming from, he could sense it, the wrongness, and it was stronger here than it was in San Myshuno.
He needed to find Simeon and L. Hopefully, he still remembered where everything was around here, despite not being here for so long. Almost twenty years, since he’d last set foot here, and that was sad in a way, because magic realm had been his home for so long. He wondered if maybe someone was threatening the spellcasters, like Aine had thirty years before. Why Aine would’ve waited until now to make her moves, that one Ezio didn’t have an answer for, but it could also be as simple as now was the soonest she had the resources to launch at them. Aine was unfortunately not stupid. Paranoid and too rigid, sure, but she wasn’t stupid. She’d know that she was outclassed and wouldn’t have tried until she was sure the odds were more in her favour.
Of course, Ezio still hadn’t told anyone, not Simeon or L., or Morgyn either, about Aine’s involvement in the events thirty-five years ago. At the time, it seemed like useless pointing of fingers, something he didn’t generally want to do anyway, but he supposed that point was moot now. If Aine had turned on magic realm, then now it was kind of a big deal. But if he was wrong… it could easily be just about anything. It could be nothing. He could be paranoid and overthinking this, maybe Drake’s paranoia was starting to rub off on him.
Ezio shook his head, more to himself, and made his way across the main island, and into the large building that functioned as the Sages’ headquarters. This was where most baby spellcasters learnt to control their magic, and gained their first spells and potion recipes. Ezio didn’t miss the potion explosions or the constant duelling. Ezio followed his nose; in his memory, Simeon always smelled very strongly of plants and earth, and eventually, he found a scent that was much like that and followed it. Ezio walked up to the other spellcaster, stopping beside him.
Simeon looked up, and smiled. “Well, I’ll be,” he said, standing up and brushing his pants off. Bits of earth and rock fell off the fabric and clattered to the wooden floor. “I haven’t seen you in so long, I almost wondered when Morgyn had a kid that looks so much like him. How have you been, Ezio?”
Ezio smiled, reaching over and patting Simeon’s arm. “I’m doing a lot better now, thanks. How are you?”
“Oh, I’ve been better,” Simeon answered. “But I can’t complain too much. Things are as they always are around here, it’s nice to have the consistency. Helps me remember what I need to be doing and find the motivation, you know?”
“Yeah, I can understand that,” Ezio said. “Have you noticed anything weird recently?”
Simeon blinked, his head tilting. And he seemed to want to say something to that, but then shrugged. “Not really,” he answered. He didn’t sound entirely sure about that response, though, and Ezio wasn’t sure what to make of the uncertainty in his voice. “Well, L’s a little snappier than usual, acting a little weird, but I think that’s just that boy getting her all confused. She wanted sardines the other day, not sure what got into her with that one.”
Well, whatever made her happy, Ezio figured. “How’s that going, anyway?” Ezio asked.
“It’s going,” Simeon answered. “He doesn’t come by for very long, and he’s gone about as quick as he comes sometimes. There are times when it seems like he doesn’t even know why he’s here at all.”
“Does it?” Ezio asked, very interested in that.
“Does what?” Simeon asked.
Ezio wasn’t expecting that, and blinked in surprise. “There are times when Don seems like he doesn’t know why he’s here?” Ezio repeated, unsure.
“I said that?” Simeon asked. “I don’t recall saying that. No, he seems just fine. He only comes here because L can’t leave, as you know.”
Ezio was quiet for a moment. He didn’t know Simeon to be having memory troubles, or at least, he hadn’t heard anything about it, and if Simeon was making a habit of saying things and then immediately forgetting that they’d been said, Ezio was quite sure that Morgyn would’ve mentioned that, even if only because it pissed the blond off. But if he said something and then forgot it, then it would be quite difficult to get details out of him. Something was definitely wrong here, even if he had no idea what. Memory tampering? Well, that shouldn’t be so easy on a sage…
“Out of curiosity, do you know what would happen if L leaves magic realm?” Ezio asked.
“Hmm, you know I never asked,” Simeon said. “I vaguely recall, I think, something about how Keisha created… something that was here, for L, and it can’t be moved easily. She has to stay where it is. I don’t think she’ll die, if that’s what you’re wondering. No wicked witches of the west around here.” Simeon laughed his bear laugh, and Ezio smiled a bit.
Ezio didn’t know what he was fighting. And he didn’t know how much danger they were in. It was a good thing that Morgyn had no intention of coming back here anytime soon, because Ezio did not like the idea of the blond being here right now, not until they knew what was going on and what they were up against.
“Well, things are fine here,” Simeon said, smiling. “We’re having chili for supper, if you’d like to stay.”
“That’s okay,” Ezio said. “Thank you though.” Then, something occurred to Ezio, just then. “Hey, Simeon, do you know off-hand where Morgen is? Yours, not mine, of course.”
“Ah,” Simeon said, his befuddlement turning to comprehension. “I think she’s in the garden upstairs.”
“Thank you,” Ezio said. “Take care of yourself, okay?”
“You too!” Simeon answered, and he turned back to the plants he’d been tending, as Ezio turned and made his way upstairs to find Morgen.
* * *
Everyone Ezio spoke to along the way up the stairs seemed to have the same trouble of saying something, and then forgetting what they’d said. Ezio was beginning to get a little concerned that he was doing it, too, by the end, but he supposed it didn’t matter right now. As long as he didn’t forget what he was here for, and how strange everything and everyone was, because he needed to remember that when he left here. Having a familiar would be useful right about now, maybe he should’ve bonded Mayor a long time ago.
As he made his way up the stairs, he ran into a petite blonde girl, with a little rounded button nose, along the way across the bridge. “Oh, hey Ezio!” the woman greeted.
“Hi Emilia,” Ezio said. “How have you been?” She was supposed to marry Darrel Charm, the oldest of Minerva Charm. They had a good bloodline and were pretty keen on preserving it, and maybe if they were lucky they’d eventually replace one of the Five Families.
It wasn’t like the families really operated in the same capacity anymore (read: they didn’t operate at all), but who was he to judge? Minerva could knock her socks off with that ambition.
“Alright I guess,” Emilia answered, shrugging a shoulder. “Things are a little weird around here though. Hey if you’re here to see Morgen, don’t bother. She doesn’t seem to remember her own name half the time anyway. Not sure what Morgyn did wrong with the spell this time, but I think this is what happens when it fails.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Ezio said. “Is it really that bad?”
Emilia snorted. “I left her trying to cast a spell by waving a sunflower around.”
Ezio blinked in surprise. A sunflower?
“I think it was supposed to be a wand,” Emilia said. “Well, anyway, I’d better go home anyway. Minerva’s been pretty serious about magic practice at home now, since Morgen’s got a few screws loose. You should get Morgyn to come back and fix it. See ya.”
“Take care,” Ezio said, watching her go down the stairs. Yeah… no. Morgyn wasn’t coming anywhere near here right now, but he had no intention of telling Emilia that. She meant well, Ezio knew that. He shook his head, and then started across the bridge to the door, and then out onto the balcony where the flowers were. And as he stepped out into the balmy air, he caught sight of her, over there, long blonde waves held in place with a barette and a headband, the same red coat Morgyn was known for draped over a black turtleneck. She was humming to herself, holding a small bundle of flowers in one hand, and twirling around on the wood.
Ezio watched her, for a moment, and then cleared his throat. She startled.
“Oh! Well, hi there!” she said, turning to look at him, and then she really looked at him, and for some reason, as if she’d never seen him before, her expression turned to one of befuddlement and concern. “I’m sorry, who are you?” she asked.
“Ezio,” he answered.
“Right, well, I’m Morgen Embera, the sage of untamed magic,” she answered, giggling and twirling around yet again.
Ezio smiled. “I know,” he said. “You’re my twin.”
“I’m sorry your what?” Morgen said. “No, no that can’t be right because I don’t remember having one of those.” She tucked the arm with the flowers under the other, holding her free hand up and tapping her lips in thought. Morgyn’s copies always came out female, of course, and most of the time they were genuinely female. Once in a while, they found one that turned male with magic, but those were always as agender as Morgyn was, not male.
This one was female, for sure, but none of them had ever forgotten who Ezio was. Ezio was as engrained in Morgyn’s copies as in Morgyn.
“We’re twins, I promise,” Ezio said.
“No, I’d remember that,” Morgen insisted. “I would definitely remember that.”
“Look at me,” Ezio said. Morgen glanced up at him. “What else would I be?”
Morgen blinked once, then twice, and then laughed. “A figment of my imagination~! Like most things around here. Nothing here is real, you know that right? My, you’re awfully talkative for something that doesn’t exist.”
“C’est reel,” Ezio said. Oh yes, it was very real indeed.
Morgen blinked at him like he’d spoken Chinese, and then blinked again and laughed. “Bless you.”
“Vous ne comprenez pas?” Ezio asked.
The way Morgen looked at him told him nope, she did not understand at all. Well, that answered that question.
“I have something to do,” Ezio said. “So I’m going to go now.”
“Go where?” Morgen asked. “There’s nowhere else to go but here. No one comes in, and no one goes out.”
“Right… I just want some water,” Ezio said.
“Oh! Oooh, of course! Well, have fun!” Morgen happily went to twirling around in circles, and Ezio backed to the door, opening it and stepping back into the building. What the fuck…
“Hey Ezio?” a feminine voice asked.
Ezio looked over to find Emilia walking towards him. “Yeah?”
“Did you come in the gate from Glimmerbrook?” she asked.
“No,” Ezio answered. He’d used a Glimmerstone, of course, but that was in and of itself a difficult task anyway. Of course, Ezio didn’t try using the spell. He wasn’t sure if it’d work or not, but at the time he was more concerned about using magic when he didn’t have to. It did tend to strain his heart unnecessarily.
“Well, the gate’s not working anymore,” Emilia said.
What did she mean the gate wasn’t working anymore? Ezio didn’t even ask anything, his gaze hardening and he bolted past her and down the stairs, taking them two and a time, across the centre courtyard with the floating candles, out the door. Ezio froze, and could only stare at the gateway. It was standing, but the shimmers of colour were not there anymore. It was just an archway.
No one comes in, and no one goes out.
“Ezio, you can get this thing working again, right?” Emilia asked from behind him.
Honestly, he had no idea. But he’d better try. Ezio didn’t say anything at first, reaching behind him and taking her hand, and then pulling out his Glimmerstone. Please don’t fail me now… the spark alighted, blue light spilled onto the stone under them… and then nothing.
“No!” Ezio roared. “Not today!”
“We can find another way-” Emilia started.
Ezio shook his head. “If we wait too long we may get stuck here,” Ezio said. “And whatever the hell that is may become too strong for any of us to overcome.”
“What about Simeon and L?” Emilia asked.
“They’re going to have to figure it out themselves, I can only take you,” Ezio answered, dropping his Glimmerstone back in his pocket. “Arise now and answer my call!” He held one hand out, his skin beginning to sparkle and shimmer with reflected light as a slight dusting of frost coated his skin. Just like it did with her. A swirl of greenish energy snaked around his wrist. For a moment, nothing happened. The trees began to shake, the leaves moving in a breeze that wasn’t there. Shimmers of cyan light swirled up from the flagstone, twisting around the stone archway that used to be the portal to Glimmerbrook. Flickers of reds, greens, and blues, a sparkle of white and gold, joined the cyan lights.
“When this opens, you’ll need to go through it immediately, do you understand?” Ezio said.
“Yes, okay,” Emilia answered.
The lights and colours converged, and reformed the portal in the archway. “Go!” Ezio said, shoving Emilia towards it. The woman darted for it, Ezio right behind, trying to keep his control of the spirits for as long as he could hold it, but the screeching was getting louder in his head and the headache was becoming worse. Ezio dove in after Emilia, clenching his teeth from the effort it took to control the energy as it twisted and turned and let out in Glimmerbrook. Emilia let out an indignant squawk as she hit the stone at the top of the waterfall in Glimmerbrook, and then Ezio nearly slammed into her.
The archway trembled, the colours vanished, breaking into small little lights that sank into the stone. Ezio took a moment to stare at it and breathe. Emilia did the same.
“What just happened?” she asked, after a long moment.
“I… think we just got locked out of magic realm.” The question remaining was… how? Never mind. Maybe it didn’t matter. Fuck magic realm. “Morgyn,” Ezio whispered, and stood up and disappeared in a burst of gold light.
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