Chapter 65: Calling Me Home

Lights; Ellie Goulding

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“He’s a heart patient,” they’d said, almost at the same time. “And he was just electrocuted.”

They didn’t need to know that it was a magical lightning bolt fired by a psychotic ancient vampire. They didn’t need to know that he’d dove in the way of it to stop it from reaching Morgyn. They didn’t need to know that they’d teleported here and this event had only happened around five minutes ago, though it felt like six hours.

They didn’t need to know that was Morgyn’s heart in their hands, and if they lost him, a lot of Morgyn was going to go with him.

Within seconds, around the sound of Morgyn’s crying, the brunet could hear Troi’s voice, barking orders. Morgyn didn’t make most of it out, because the semantics of what she said didn’t matter, not to Morgyn. The brunet stayed out of the way, as someone picked Ezio up out of Morgyn’s arms, set him on a stretcher, starting emergency care. It was just as well. Morgyn had to try and remember they knew what they were doing, and everything was going to be okay. There was no sense in being upset about it, but the brunet couldn’t help the twisting pain in Morgyn’s chest all the same.

Drake disappeared. Morgyn hardly noticed amid the flood of activity and emotions. Breathing was becoming ever more difficult an endeavour, and the brunet’s face buried in shaking hands, as Morgyn backed into a wall, slid down it, and fell to the floor. Then Caleb was suddenly there, and Morgyn stood up and immediately attached to Caleb, still crying harder than the brunet had cried in a while.

“What?!” Troi’s voice suddenly shrieked, and Morgyn separated from Caleb slightly in curiosity. “I’m gonna kill that mother fucker! Get him upstairs, now!”

Troi moved past Morgyn and Caleb, her hand briefly resting on Morgyn’s arm as she went, into the back. The sound of hushed arguing was notable, and Morgyn started listening to it mostly in curiosity. The brunet looked up at Caleb. She seemed to be having trouble with the medications she’d ordered sent out.

Caleb looked concerned, but didn’t deign to explain anything, either. It was just as well.

Cassandra joined them, then Lilith. Morgyn hardly noticed they were there, and spent most of the time clinging to Caleb and crying. It felt like, eventually, Morgyn had to run out of tears, but so far, the brunet hadn’t.

“I don’t care what you think you can and cannot authorise!” Troi’s voice suddenly screeched. “I have a heart patient that just took an electrical charge and needs them! You put those orders in and you do it now or so help me fucking god you’ll be in the room next to his!”

The door slammed open, and Troi hurried to the end of the hallway to take the stairs and catch the elevator as soon as they got Ezio off of it.

“Troi,” Morgyn said as she went by, letting go of Caleb.

“Everything’ll be just fine, Morgyn,” Troi said, turning to look at the spellcaster as she went for the stairs. “It will.”

Even with Morgyn’s nerves twisted in a knot, something about the way she said that made the brunet feel like, maybe it would be okay. Maybe everything was going to be fine, and Morgyn should try not to think about it too hard.

The sage watched her go, taking the stairs two at a time. One of the lights down the hallway flickered and dimmed, and then winked out. The intercom came on, and words were spoken over the loudspeaker, but Morgyn didn’t hear any of them around the anxious thundering in the sage’s head.

Morgyn didn’t know much, but the brunet did know that if Ezio died, while saving Morgyn, that wasn’t something the sage could handle. Not now. Maybe, not ever, really.

Caleb wordlessly reached over, and gently pulled Morgyn back over into his arms. “She’s right,” he said quietly. “Ezio’s gotten through worse than this. I can’t think of an examples right now, but I’m sure he has.”

No, he hadn’t.

But Morgyn was just scared, and the brunet knew it. It was a question of which one to do; prepare for the worst, or hope for the best, because Morgyn didn’t think the sage had enough emotional range leftover right now to do both.

Somewhere between sobs and hiccups, Morgyn’s grip on Caleb tightened. “Believe that for me,” Morgyn said. “Please. I don’t think I can right now.”

Caleb didn’t say anything right away, simply holding onto the brunet, rocking side to side just slightly. Morgyn found the motion comforting, and decided not to say anything. Morgyn would deal with just about anything if it made the brunet feel better about now.

The sage always knew this day was coming. That someday, Ezio would do something horribly stupid that he couldn’t come back from, probably in Morgyn’s defence, because that was the only thing Ezio was truly stupid about. He’d always been like that, ever since they were kids. Morgyn would be the same way in return about him, if the brunet ever had the opportunity to be.

Ezio could take care of himself, though. It was always Morgyn that needed him, not the other way around. Some part of Morgyn resented that reality. That even when Ezio was the weaker of them, it was always Morgyn leaning and depending on him. Like maybe, somehow, if Morgyn needed him enough, nothing could take him away.

That wasn’t how things like this were supposed to work, was it? Morgyn decided not to think about it. The sage wanted to remain ignorant of the truth, for just a little bit longer.

“We’ll all believe it for you,” Lilith said quietly, reaching over and resting her hand on Morgyn’s shoulder. Then, she glanced over at Cassandra, the young woman hugging herself, staring in the direction they’d taken Ezio.

“Are you okay?” Lilith asked. Trust her to decide she was going to be the strong one.

“Yeah,” Cassandra answered, releasing a breath and looking down wistfully at the floor. “It just didn’t cross my mind how bad an idea a hospital would be, when you happen to be a necromancer.”

* * *

Wordlessly, Caleb settled down on the couch next to Morgyn, handing the brunet a cup of hot cocoa. Morgyn murmured something that sounded like it was supposed to be a thank you, but didn’t quite make it. Caleb didn’t mind it too much. It was merely distressing, that Caleb couldn’t seem to help Morgyn feel much better. Then, maybe nothing would make any of this better. At least, nothing short of Ezio getting better and making it through this.

Caleb had to wonder if he would. That was a direct hit from a lightning bolt he’d taken, it wouldn’t be surprising if he didn’t make it through the night. He could tell, watching Lilith shuffle around nervously, Cassandra wring her hands, Drake sit and stare out the windows, they all were thinking the same thing. No one dared say a word.

Morgyn’s hands were shaking too badly to handle the cup. Caleb reached up and wrapped his hands around Morgyn’s, steadying the brunet’s grip. It was obvious that Morgyn was trying not to completely lose it. Of course, Caleb expected that Morgyn would be losing it off and on until Ezio was home. Or for the rest of the brunet’s life, if the next time Ezio came home was in an urn.

Caleb would not be saying that, either.

Morgyn managed to drink some of the cocoa, and then set it down on the coffee table strewn with magazines and small fake succulent plants, with Caleb’s hands keeping the brunet’s steady. It’d been almost an hour already, and Dr. Williams hadn’t come out to find them just yet. Caleb could only hope that the intern that was giving her problems about Ezio’s medication didn’t mess anything up.

One of the nurses had come out some time ago, handing them a clipboard and asking them to look it over. It was a list of the medications they knew Ezio should be taking, and wanted to make sure it was still up to date and nothing had changed.

Morgyn had answered honestly; he hadn’t been on anything in around a month now. The nurse looked displeased to hear that; suddenly stopping medication had a number of risks that went along with it, and they all knew that. She didn’t need to tell them that, but she seemed to figure this out by looking at them. Either that, or she’d decided they didn’t need that lecture right now.

Whatever her reasons were, Caleb was glad for it. Morgyn didn’t need anything else to feel guilty about.

“Breathe a little more,” Caleb said, nudging Morgyn in the side. The brunet’s breaths were shallow and rapid, which Caleb presumed was a side-effect of trying to stave off a panic attack or something. Morgyn was holding it together fairly well, at least.

“I’m trying,” Morgyn answered, and then raised a hand to the brunet’s chest and paid more attention to the breaths that were being drawn in.

Caleb smiled, shuffling around to kneel in front of Morgyn. “Here, try this,” he said, and then breathed in, held it for a few seconds, and then released.

Morgyn copied him, and slowly, Morgyn’s heart rate levelled back out, and some of the tension in the sage’s body released. Good. Having Morgyn all wound up like that was starting to put Caleb’s nerves on edge. He was supposed to be being the calm one, not having a freak-out of his own.

Ezio had to make it. He’d made it this far, and there were so many people here that needed him. It didn’t always happen, that when someone was needed, they stayed against all the odds, but Caleb sure hoped, today, just this once, maybe it would.

Even as Morgyn sat there, trying to calm down, the brunet eventually broke into tears again. Caleb stood back up, sitting next to Morgyn and letting the sage fall against him and cry. Caleb never had any intention of leaving Morgyn alone in the first place, but he definitely wasn’t now. It was difficult to say for sure what Morgyn would do when left to the sage’s own devices for too long right now.

“It’ll be okay,” Caleb said softly, hand brushing against Morgyn’s hair. Caleb always loved this colour, but it was Morgyn’s hair to do with as the caster wanted, and Caleb never said anything that might suggest he had an opinion one way or another. Caleb loved the idiot either way.

“I’m scared,” Morgyn spluttered. “He’s never done anything this stupid before, I’m so scared Caleb.”

Caleb wouldn’t say it, but he kind of was, too. He release a breath, laying his cheek against Morgyn’s hair. “I know,” he said quietly. “And I wish there was something else I could say but all I have is, it’ll be okay. Somehow. You know Ezio doesn’t want to go any more than you want him to leave.”

They could debate and wonder until the cows came home, whether it was going to be enough. All that was left, was waiting. And yes, it was hard. The waiting part was always the worst bit. But he wasn’t worried about what came after that. All Caleb cared about, right now, was making sure that Morgyn made it to the end of this, wherever the end of it may be.

And then, depending, his goal would probably be making sure Morgyn made it to the end of whatever was next. Because Caleb said big words about believing Ezio would make it through this, but the reality was, he simply didn’t. He’d never in a thousand years say that to Morgyn; but it was the truth.

Morgyn didn’t say anything else, just hiccuped, and slid down into Caleb’s lap, curling up against his leg. Caleb left it alone, idly petting Morgyn’s brown waves. It was better that Morgyn kept breaking down, than the brunet try to keep it inside.

* * *

Morgyn had eventually settled down in Caleb’s lap, and just cried off and on. Caleb tried not to think about it too much; mostly, this was painful for everyone involved, and Caleb was one of them.

Ezio had done a lot for all of them, meant a lot to all of them. It was almost correct to call him the glue that kept them together. He certainly was the common denominator that had united them all.

Finally, Troi came over to them, and stood beside Morgyn, brushing several of her braids back over her shoulder. Morgyn sat up, and then stood. “How is he?” Morgyn asked. Caleb stood up, too.

Troi smiled, but the sadness was apparent. “He’s alive,” she answered, “and for now, he’s stable.”

Morgyn breathed out, and then frowned. “What’s the but?” Morgyn asked.

“I can’t promise,” Troi answered, “that he will remain stable. The combination of not being on his medications for so long, paired with taking an electrical charge of that particular strength, it’s messed up his heart’s rhythm more than it already was. I should think even if he does pull through this, it doesn’t mean things will stay smooth sailing from here.”

Morgyn frowned, the tears almost starting to fall all over again, and then the brunet’s head shook. Morgyn’s hands raised, wiping away the tears and the tear tracks, before looking back up at Troi.

“What kind of outcomes are we looking at?” Morgyn asked.

Troi was quiet a moment. Caleb reached over and took Morgyn’s hand. The brunet leaned against him.

“Best case scenario, he recovers and his heart’s internal charge starts to level out, and his heart begins to beat right again mostly on its own,” Troi said. “But this could also be the turning point. The stage where his heart starts to truly give up and quit. In that case, its strength would deteriorate at a very rapid pace, his collapses would become more frequent. He’d probably have to stay in a facility equipped to take care of his heart. Most likely, he wouldn’t make it to the end of the year.”

Morgyn was quiet a moment, and then loosed a loud breath, one hand raising like Morgyn was trying to hold the tears back, and maybe the sage was. It was no wonder Morgyn didn’t take that very well. Caleb certainly didn’t expect the brunet to have, and clearly, Troi didn’t expect it, either.

“Hey,” Troi said, “I know it’s hard to think about, but I promise you, we’re going to do everything we can. Stay around. Close by. I’ve seen loved ones’ presence do miracles. Don’t give up yet, but, don’t get your hopes up too high, either. That’s just worst case scenario, of course.”

Caleb almost resented her for saying it at all, but Morgyn had asked, and deserved the full scope of possibilities. All the same, he reached out and pulled Morgyn against him.

“I have him getting the levels of his every day medications back to normal, along with some other things to help his heart charge stay steady,” Troi said, looking at Caleb instead. “Whenever it is he wakes up, he’s liable to be high as the sky, and not make a lot of sense at first. I’ll lower his varying dosages when his regular medications start to work again, and we’ll go from there, kind of play it by ear.”

Caleb nodded. “That sounds like the better idea.”

“I’ve got to get back to work, okay?” Troi said. “It’ll work out. I’m not giving up on him yet, and I’ll stay in touch.” She turned then, and headed down the hallway. Caleb could tell she needed to deal with her own emotions, but it wasn’t surprising. Ezio and Troi were friends with each other, of course.

Caleb didn’t envy doctors in the least. Especially not her. He couldn’t imagine someone’s life resting on his shoulders. He could barely handle his own half the time.

This time, Morgyn’s crying was almost completely silent, but Caleb could feel the brunet shaking against him for what felt like the thousandth time today. Part of him wanted to hide from the whole world, and another part of him wanted to scream and cry and rage at everything, for letting things turn out this way, for making Morgyn live through this, for hurting Ezio this much.

It wasn’t that life was biased. Bad things happened to everyone, and at around the same rate overall. It just felt, right now, like something was out to ruin their lives in particular.

“Do you want anything, or would you rather just cry for a minute?” Caleb asked.

“Just hold me,” Morgyn answered around the sobs, in a small voice. “I hate this.”

Caleb couldn’t say he was terribly fond of it, either. Of course, this wasn’t really about him, not now. He could deal with his errant emotions some other time, when Morgyn didn’t desperately need someone to break apart on. He could handle this. He’d been doing quite well so far.

Maybe he’d fall apart on Lilith. With Lilith? Lilith loved Ezio, too. They all did. He wondered how Drake and Cassandra were holding up. If they were doing better than Morgyn was. They’d gone off somewhere to find something for the mortals present to eat. Lilith would probably corner someone in the bathroom later, which meant Caleb and Drake were on their own with plasma fruit smoothies.

They usually were.

“Come on,” Caleb said, gently nudging Morgyn back over to the couch. “At least get off your feet, you can lay back down in my lap.”

Morgyn whined softly, but shuffled that way. Caleb settled down next to the brunet, and Morgyn fell over into his lap unceremoniously.

“I have to tell Drake this,” Morgyn said, after a few moments.

Caleb rested a hand against Morgyn’s back. “I can tell him, if you want.”

“No,” Morgyn answered. “I can do it. Maybe along the way, I’ll figure out this isn’t a dream.”

* * *

Morgyn had gone quiet in Caleb’s lap for a while. Caleb had one arm draped over the caster, deciding to leave Morgyn to the brunet’s silence, if that was what Morgyn wanted right now, and it seemed that way.

Caleb watched the sun fall behind the other buildings around them, the sky streaking with shades of orange and pink and purple. Sunset wasn’t Caleb’s favourite; that was dawn. But he could appreciate the unique colours that the sky turned when the sun sank below the horizon.

As he stared out the window, Cassandra and Drake came up to them.

“I wasn’t sure what you’d like,” Cassandra said, looking down at Morgyn, “so I got some fries, chicken, and a small salad.”

“That’s fine, thank you,” Morgyn answered, sitting upright. Cassandra handed the brunet a bag, and Morgyn took it, reaching in and munching on a fry. Almost immediately, Morgyn looked a little green, but the sage finished the fry and then set the bag down on the table.

“Troi came while you two were gone,” Morgyn said softly.

“How is he doing?” Drake asked, sitting down.

Morgyn was quiet a moment, then drew a breath in. “He’s stable, and alive,” Morgyn answered. “But the lack of his medications and the lightning bolt’s strength combined messed up his heart’s charge worse than it already was. Even if he survives this part, the combination may be enough to cause his heart to finally quit.”

Drake and Cassandra went silent, both digesting that in their own way. Cassandra moved slightly, sitting down too, setting her own bag down on the coffee table. None of them said anything, for a long moment, but maybe there wasn’t anything to say.

“How long would he have?” Drake asked.

Morgyn shrugged. “Troi doesn’t think he’d make it to the end of the year.”

Drake released a breath. “That’s so soon.”

It was almost summer. They had a handful of months left before the end of the year, and if Ezio wasn’t going to make it to the end of the year, then he could be gone in a very short period of time. Caleb didn’t like thinking about it either.

“He should’ve let the fucking bolt hit me,” Morgyn said quietly.

“No Morgyn,” Caleb said. “We all know he would’ve died before that bolt got you. She’s doing the best she can, of course. And she doesn’t want us to give up on him just yet. I think he can make it.”

No, he didn’t.

“Yeah,” Drake said. “Of course he can.”

He was saying that for Cassandra’s benefit.

“Of course,” Cassandra agreed, nodding her head.

She was saying that so that Drake didn’t feel bad.

Morgyn smiled, though the expression didn’t reach the sage’s green eyes at all. “Someone’s got to be around to tell me I’m being an idiot,” the brunet said.

The sage knew it didn’t work that way.

What a sad bunch they were.

“I’m staying here,” Morgyn said, reaching down and taking another fry, working through eating it. “Troi said she thinks we should stay nearby, sometimes loved ones being around does miracles, so I’m not going home I think.”

“I won’t, either,” Drake decided.

Caleb glanced over at Cassandra. Lilith had already run off to the gym nearby; that was how she dealt with strong emotions. Cassandra looked over at Caleb.

“Okay,” Caleb said, “I guess we’re all staying here then.” That was just as well. Caleb wasn’t interested in going back to an empty apartment as large as Spire Apartments was. Besides, Morgyn needed him, and that was all the justification for staying Caleb needed.

Cassandra leaned over, picking her purse up off the floor, and then handed Caleb a wad of money. “There’s a hotel not far from here,” she said. “You and Morgyn can get a room, to make sure the dork gets some sleep.”

“I’m not the only human here,” Morgyn protested.

“Oh,” Cassandra said, her dark eyes glancing up at the ceiling. “I guess you’re not.”

Caleb always did wonder how she forgot that so frequently, but she seemed to operate on a wavelength that wasn’t quite the same as everyone else’s. He’d noticed that about her a long time ago. It wasn’t surprising, given how eccentric her family was.

“Do you want to go now?” Caleb asked.

Morgyn reached over and plucked another French fry from the bag, and then stood up. “Yeah,” Morgyn said. “Before it gets dark, in case they run out of rooms or something. Two beds should be enough?” Morgyn asked, looking at Cassandra.

“Yeah,” she answered. “I’ll just get some sleep tomorrow, I don’t think I can sleep tonight, but you should definitely try to sleep tonight.”

Morgyn’s head shook. “So should you,” the brunet said. “But I won’t push it. You’re old enough to decide if you want to ruin your own life or not.”

Cassandra snorted. “This is what coffee was invented for,” she said.

Morgyn stood up, taking Caleb’s hand, and the two of them headed out the door to go find this hotel Cassandra was talking about.

Cassandra slid down in her seat, watching the wall. Drake shifted around a little, staring out the windows. They sat in silence for a long moment, and then Cassandra stood up, shuffled over to stand beside Drake, and rested a hand on his shoulder.

And she stayed there, because Drake was so good at hiding his pain, but she knew it in a way no one else did.

* * *

They’d come back around an hour later. Morgyn had washed all of the brunet’s makeup off in the interim, and Caleb had a couple plasma fruit smoothies. He handed one to Drake wordlessly. If nothing else, they’d all used a lot of energy in the fight with Sarnai, and it was easy to forget that amid the craziness and excitement.

Cassandra gave them both a little smile, and then looked over at Morgyn. “Troi came back,” she said. “Ezio’s stable enough, she’s letting us in to see him.”

Morgyn looked up at Caleb, but then stood up and headed for the room they knew was his. Cassandra followed, pausing outside the door to run her fingers over the nameplate at the side of it with Ember printed on it. He was an Ember, wasn’t he? No matter how bad things turned out, he always seemed to find a way to just keep burning.

Cassandra looked away from it, smiling softly as Morgyn took Ezio’s hand, and settled down beside him. Morgyn was saying something, but Cassandra couldn’t hear it from the doorway. It didn’t matter. Those words weren’t hers to hear.

Drake had already been in to see him. Cassandra had decided to wait, because intruding seemed like a bad thing. Of course, she also felt like she was intruding now. She was trying not to think about it too terribly much.

Morgyn laid down on Ezio’s hand. And slowly but surely, the brunet fell asleep right there. Cassandra had a feeling Morgyn was more tired than the sage was letting on. Maybe right here, next to Ezio, was the only place Morgyn could relax right now. Cassandra couldn’t say she didn’t understand it. She felt the same way, really.

Quietly, she shuffled over to the other side, settling down beside him, too. There were wires and tubes all over the place, and she had to be careful not to catch his IV drip line on the way.

She didn’t like seeing him this way, but she didn’t like not seeing him at all even more. The heart monitor beeped softly and rhythmically, almost enough to be calming. No wonder Morgyn fell asleep so quickly, listening to the soft beeping telling everyone in the room Ezio was very much still alive. Cassandra might be able to fall asleep to it, too.

Her hands raised, gently resting on Ezio’s arm. For a moment, she just watched him breathe, listened to the beeping, felt the warmth of his arm. It was comforting. He really was still alive.

“I didn’t expect this to be easy,” she said softly. “But I didn’t expect it to be so hard, either. I won’t tell you that you shouldn’t have done it. If I was you, if it was me and Alexander, I wonder, would I have done the same thing? I don’t know.” And of course, it was all hypothetical, and didn’t matter, anyway.

Cassandra had never seen a love so deep as the one Ezio had for Morgyn.

She settled down a little, one hand taking his, lacing their fingers together. “You’re a strong person Ezio,” she said. “But I think sometimes, you forget you’re not invincible. I wish you’d remember more. I wish you wouldn’t do things like this without thinking twice about it, and all the same I understand why you do them. Ezio, Morgyn can’t lose you, and definitely can’t lose you that way. I don’t think Morgyn would ever stop shouldering the blame for it, if you died this way. Saving Morgyn from something.”

And Cassandra was afraid that, if Ezio died that way, Morgyn wouldn’t ever be able to love someone that much again, might even push Caleb away, for fear of the same thing happening all over again. Because the loss and the hurt was just too strong.

She sat in silence, for a time, only the sound of the beeping and Ezio’s soft breaths (and Morgyn’s) breaking that silence up. Cassandra didn’t mind the silence so much. Sometimes, it was uncomfortable, but Cassandra had come to enjoy the ability to think by herself. Maybe she’d call her parents, later, and tell them that she loved them.

Everything in life seemed so fleeting and temporary. It was best to hang onto what you could when and for as long as you could.

“I always let things with you be what they wanted, and in their own time,” she said. “It worked out better that way, and with you it never felt like I had to be someone I wasn’t. You never held my silly mistakes against me, the odd way I phrase things sometimes. It was like you understood me, without me ever having to say a word. I wonder now, if maybe that was exactly what you did. I used to dream of you, all the time. And now I have to wonder if maybe I was drawn to you for a reason. If there’s something that I’m here for, or you are.”

She didn’t know. Truth be told, most of the time, Cassandra was afraid to think about it too much, to ask too many questions, lest the universe change its mind and take him away from her. And it was in that moment that Cassandra realised, at some point, she’d become afraid to lose him.

Cassandra had never been afraid to lose anyone or anything in her life, and she wasn’t quite certain what to do with the feeling. Ah, no. Now she understood, that thing that Ezio had said to her, only a few months ago, though now it felt like it was a lifetime ago, and she and Ezio had been different people then. In a way, maybe they had been.

So many things had changed, since then. And so few things, too.

“Ezio,” she said, reaching over and brushing her fingers against his cheek. “Do you remember, what you asked me, out in the Arts Quarter, when you told me that I’m likely a caster because it runs in my family? You asked me what I wanted, more than anything in the world.”

Her dark eyes fell, staring at their joined hands. “I finally know, now,” she said quietly. “I know what I want. Ezio, you have to come back from this. You said you wanted to know the answer, if I ever found one. I need to tell you that what I want is you.”

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