Chapter 76: I Built My Life Around You
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Landslide, Fleetwood Mac.
“I’m not as upset about us breaking up as I expected to be,” Morgyn said, walking alongside Ezio.
He was doing better, and tomorrow, Dr. Williams said that he could come home. Morgyn was excited for that. It’d be nice having him home, where he belonged, instead of here in the hospital, where it smelled and felt all kinds of wrong. Morgyn had eventually deduced this wrongness was the sage’s latent necromancy, suddenly no longer being so latent.
Morgyn wasn’t sure what to make of that. Primarily, Morgyn didn’t think about it.
“That’s good, at least,” Ezio said. “There’s no sense being upset about it anyway. You’re the one that broke up with him.”
“Yeah, but you know me,” Morgyn said, smirking. “Doing things that make no sense is something of a speciality.”
“Don’t remind me,” Ezio grumbled.
Morgyn smothered a giggle. “Everything will be okay now,” Morgyn said. “Caleb and I are still friends at least. It’s not as awkward as it could be.”
“And you’re sure you’re really not upset about it?” Ezio asked. “You’re not just burying it very well under the elation that I’m going home?”
“Nope,” Morgyn answered. “I’m not sure of that at all.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” Ezio said.
“That’s okay,” Morgyn said. “Sometimes you have to be a little upset about things. Life isn’t a fairy tale, you know?”
“Thank the stars for that,” Ezio said. “Fairy tales are usually pretty horrible.”
Morgyn laughed. Yeah, so they were. One of the many reasons Morgyn enjoyed reading them, actually.
“I just worry about you, a lot, you know?” Ezio asked.
Morgyn smiled. “Yeah, I know,” the sage answered. It was the same the other way around though, wasn’t it? Morgyn was always worried about Ezio. “But I really am okay. And even when I’m not, I’m getting there.” It was a process. Just like Ezio’s recovery was a process.
Ezio sighed. “I guess that’s the best I can hope for,” he said.
Morgyn shrugged. “It sure seems that way,” the ginger said. “You know though, you’re one to badger someone about being okay.”
Ezio stiffened, and then paused in his walking for a moment. Then he went on like nothing had happened. “I’m fine,” he said, but his tone was too strained and terse.
“Yeah, I know,” Morgyn said. “You’re about as fine as anyone would be right now.” That is, maybe not very.
“It’s a pointless thing to focus on,” Ezio said.
“Feelings are never pointless, isn’t that what you keep trying to tell me?” Morgyn asked, raising an eyebrow. Ezio sure was stubborn, but that wasn’t surprising. He was still an Ember, even if he liked to pretend otherwise.
“The trick to that is,” Ezio said, glancing over at Morgyn, “those are your feelings, not mine.”
Morgyn’s head shook. “It’s not just mine,” the sage said. “I know I can’t make you do anything, and it’s not that I’m trying to. I’m just worried about you, that’s all, like how you worry about me.”
Morgyn reached over, taking one of Ezio’s hands. He stopped, something unreadable flashing in the grey of his eyes, and Morgyn almost frowned in response to it. It looked familiar, almost made the sage’s heart hurt, but it was gone so fast, it was almost convincing that it was never there at all.
Almost.
Then, Ezio squeezed Morgyn’s hand slightly. “I know,” he said. “You know how this goes. I have to sort it out in my head first. There’s a lot to sort out in my head. Like whether I’m still asking Drake and Cassandra to marry me or not.”
Morgyn blinked. That was in question? “Why wouldn’t you?” Morgyn asked.
“It’s complicated,” Ezio said, glancing away, then pulling his hand free and walking along the bars. “Things are different now than they were a few weeks ago.”
Morgyn frowned. Because he was- as far as Morgyn was concerned, that didn’t change anything. And given neither Drake or Cassandra had walked away from him (and both had plenty of chances), it seemed unlikely they felt differently.
“Maybe that’s something to talk to them about,” Morgyn answered. “But you know, Drake’s had plenty of time to walk away. So has Cassandra, by now. Not as much as he has. But something tells me neither of them think of it the way that you do.”
Ezio snorted. “Like I said, things are different now,” he said.
“You’re not a problem, Ezio,” Morgyn said, reaching up and brushing some of those messy waves from Ezio’s face. “You could never be a problem.”
Of course not. Morgyn’s voice cracked slightly. Damn it. Morgyn was many times more emotional than Ezio was, and anyone that knew either of them knew that. It was like Ezio had shoved all of his feelings out of him, for the most part. He only seemed to know what emotions were around Drake, and now Cassandra.
It was even rare that Morgyn saw that side of him now, probably because it was Morgyn being the emotional wreck anymore.
Morgyn still hadn’t really talkeed about anything to do with Aine, or that incident. The sage had spoken a little with Liberty, but Liberty had her own life to live, and Morgyn couldn’t fairly barge into other people’s lives and demand they suddenly changed direction, no matter how much Morgyn needed to talk. Besides, things with Liberty were… Morgyn had no idea what to make of them.
Despite belief otherwise, Morgyn wasn’t the type to just jump from one to the other. And no matter how much Morgyn might care about Liberty, the sage also realised that in caring about her, Morgyn needed to take a little time for self-care and self-improvement before getting into another relationship. The last one had gone so well, after all.
Ezio reached up, taking Morgyn’s hand. “You’re still upset?” he asked quietly.
“Of course I am,” Morgyn said, snorting softly. “I lost you. I don’t think I can do it again.”
Some of the ice in Ezio’s eyes melted. It only ever did for a very small set of people, now. “I’ve always been dying, Morgyn,” he said. “Someday, you’ll have to figure out how to do it again.”
“No,” Morgyn answered. “I’ll figure it out. How to save you. I will. She did it with magic, and I can fix it with magic, Ezio.” It was the only reason Morgyn had gone into university in the first place. The sage wasn’t about to back down now.
There was that unreadable something that flickered through Ezio’s eyes again. But like last time, it was gone fairly quickly.
“I know you think you will,” Ezio said. “But if you can’t-“
“I can,” Morgyn interrupted, tone firm.
“But if you can’t,” Ezio repeated, “it’s not your fault.”
It was always Ezio being the strong one. The one putting on the brave face and telling everyone that everything would be alright. Even if, or maybe especially if, he was hurting, too.
And why was that, anyway? Morgyn wondered that a lot. The sage often wondered if maybe something somewhere had gone wrong and Morgyn had incidentally put too much on him, demanded too much of Ezio’s support, and didn’t offer enough back. If maybe, Morgyn had done the same thing to him that the ginger had unintentionally done to Caleb.
But nobody goes into these things intending to cause harm. What was that saying? You either died a hero, or lived long enough to see yourself become the villain?
Caleb was too good for Morgyn. So was Ezio. But if this had proven anything, it was that Morgyn didn’t need Caleb the same way Morgyn needed Ezio. There were always some things in Ezio that Morgyn didn’t understand. There were always some pains that ran deeper than the sage knew, some scars that would never heal, and now more than ever, Morgyn wished things were this way. That Morgyn knhew Ezio as well as Ezio knew Morgyn.
“I can,” Morgyn answered, leaning over the bar, and gently knocking the ginger’s head into Ezio’s. “And I will.” Morgyn didn’t have a choice. It was either save him, or lose him, and Morgyn couldn’t lose him.
~*~
“Did the ramp get fixed?” Morgyn asked.
Cassandra rolled her eyes, setting the vase of flowers in her hand down on the hallway table. “Yes,” she answered smoothly. “The repairman came by this morning and fixed it. Is Ezio going to be wheelchair-bound for a while?”
“Dr. Williams said he might be,” Morgyn answered, pacing frantically in the hallway. Caleb was curiously missing, Drake was at the hospital getting Ezio. And Morgyn couldn’t hold still.
He was finally coming home, and, of course, Morgyn didn’t think everything was suddenly going to be sunshine and rainbows now. There were a lot of things still left to work through, both with his physical medical complications, and with his emotional ones. Morgyn had a few things to work out, too.
But they’d be together, finally. Things could start resembling something like normalcy. Morgyn never had any illusions with this one. Ezio would never be the same again, and the ginger knew that. There would be some adjustment along the way, even if only because Ezio wouldn’t ever be the same again. The Ezio that was here now was not the same one that jumped in front of that lightning bolt.
Morgyn was trying to stay positive. Trying to look on the brighter side of things, to remember that the night was at its darkest just before the sun began to rise. That, no matter how hopeless and terrible things seemed, there was always a light at the end of the tunnel, until one turned away from it.
It was harder than the ginger expected. Of course, Morgyn was never good at optimism. It wasn’t even as if that was Ezio’s job. Ezio was a realist, not an optimist. Morgyn was very much a pessimist. But right now, one of them had to be the strong one. And maybe it’d been Ezio for far too long.
“I’m nervous, and I don’t know why,” Morgyn said. It wasn’t even for Cassandra, though she was the only one in the hallway besides the sage. Lilith had returned to Forgotten Hollow, and seemed to have no interest in leaving again. Liberty was working today, L. had a doctor’s appointment for something. It was for the best, probably.
“I know,” Cassandra answered, her tone that odd ‘I know something you don’t know’ tone. She didn’t seem as uncertain around Morgyn anymore, but they’d come to find a strange sense of unity, borne of mutual love for Ezio, too. “Because from here, there will be changes.”
“There have been changes,” Morgyn said, raising an eyebrow.
“Yes,” Cassandra replied, her eyebrow raising too. It felt almost chastising. Only she could pull it off. “But these changes will be the ones you can’t predict or control.”
That made so much sense it almost gave Morgyn a headache.
“They’re back,” she added, nodding at the door.
Morgyn paused in the frantic pacing long enough to glance outside. Ezio looked tired, but okay, at least. They wouldn’t have released him from the hospital if he wasn’t okay, Morgyn knew that. At this point, it was sheer paranoia.
The sage went out the door, meeting Ezio and Drake, pushing Ezio’s wheelchair, halfway up the walkway. Morgyn couldn’t say why, but something felt a little off when the ginger looked at Ezio. But he smiled a tired smile, and Morgyn decided it was probably just more paranoia.
Everything was fine. Ezio was home now, and everything was fine, or getting there.
“How do you feel?” Morgyn asked.
“Like something a coyote dragged in from the Sonoran Desert,” Ezio answered, smiling.
“That’s awfully specific,” Morgyn said, blinking once.
“He gave me a similar response,” Drake said.
“A thousand people have asked me how I feel today,” Ezio said. He didn’t sound annoyed. He didn’t sound much of anything. “I was counting on you not being a thousand and one.”
“I see,” Morgyn answered, reaching down and taking Ezio’s hand. “I just… want to make sure you know you can talk to us.”
“I know,” Ezio said. “But right now, I think I’d much rather get some rest.”
That did very little to ease Morgyn’s nerves, but this moment wasn’t about Morgyn anyway. It was about Ezio, and what Ezio wanted and needed.
The Ember twins were strange, in that while they were very close and talked to one another about almost everything, there were times when they’d much rather be left alone. There were times when even the presence of their other half was too much. And there were times when especially the presence of their other half was too much.
Morgyn didn’t like it right now, but also didn’t need to. This was something that would be a process, that would take time, and rushing it would only make things worse. Morgyn was trying to remember it. The sage wasn’t good at patience, much of the time. Typically, the ginger didn’t have any whatsoever. But this was Ezio. Ezio still meant the world to Morgyn. Morgyn could find some patience for this.
“Okay,” Morgyn said. “Cassandra’s in the entryway.”
“I see,” Ezio answered. “Let’s go see her then.”
Drake nudged the chair forward. Morgyn didn’t let go of Ezio’s hand, following them up the stairs to the side of the ramp as they went. Cassandra looked amused as they came in.
“Well, aren’t you looking beautiful,” Ezio said, as they came in. His tone was still eerily flat.
Cassandra happened to be wearing one of her nice sun-dresses (it was still black, though). Her hair was up in braids, like she’d put in a little extra effort today. (She probably had.) Of course, she ducked her head slightly in perhaps embarrassment, but she recovered very quickly. Morgyn was starting to envy her that.
“The flowers are kind of for you,” she said, gesturing at them. “And Splinter’s in his aquarium.”
“Thank you,” Ezio answered.
“Did you want to have a look around the house?” Cassandra asked. “Caleb’s not here right now to monopolise the television, even.”
“I was thinking some rest sounded nice,” Ezio said.
“Your room’s at the end of the hallway here,” Cassie answered.
Ezio giggled, though it sounded a bit hollow, looking up at Drake. “Home then, James!”
Drake snorted. “Okay,” he said, and then nudged the chair down the hallway. Kassander had chosen this house well. The halls and doorways were more than wide enough to manage a wheelchair, and getting Ezio around in this house wouldn’t be difficult. There was plenty of floor space to spread out their furniture.
Morgyn and Cassandra hung back. Both were quiet for a long moment. Morgyn turned down to stare at the wood floor.
“It’s a process,” Cassandra said, glancing over at the sage.
“I know,” Morgyn answered. “There are just far too many processes.”
~*~
Ezio was just as quiet now that he was home as he’d been at the hospital. Morgyn couldn’t say that was surprising. Truthfully, it’d be more surprising if Ezio had suddenly opened up and started talking. Though the ginger could hope for that much, it certainly wasn’t expected.
Though the impatient itch, the driving need to fix it was there, Morgyn was consciously trying to ignore it. It would take time. And this had to go at Ezio’s pace. Instead of focusing on it too much, overthinking it, Morgyn had been spending a lot of time making tea. It would’ve been coffee, but perhaps coffee was a bad idea while pregnant.
Morgyn had never asked.
Too many things had changed at once, and Morgyn was still reeling a bit. Now that Morgyn and Caleb seemed to have separated for the last time, the ginger had tried to be rid of everything that still echoed of Caleb. The rose the sage had frozen from their first date, the engagement rings, half of the pictures of them together.
Morgyn still had everything. The rings were on a chain, now, hanging around the ginger’s neck and hiding under Morgyn’s shirt. Some things, and some people, were a part of you for so long, it became difficult to let those things and people go. Change was always hard, but some change was harder than normal. Morgyn pretended not to understand, when Ezio said as much. Morgyn understood better than most.
With enough bustling around the kitchen, Morgyn had made up two cups of chamomile tea. Then, even though the sage wasn’t so sure about pestering him, Morgyn set the cups on a plate they fit onto, and headed down the hallway to Ezio’s room.
Morgyn glanced at her, as the sage passed Melanie in the hallway outside Ezio’s room, but didn’t say anything to her. Morgyn had little to say to her anyway. Instead, the sage knocked on the door. Morgyn was expecting Ezio to answer, but the door opened itself. That worked, too. Morgyn gave a little head shake, and then meandered in.
As usual, Ezio was staring out the window, watching the waves crash onto the beach. Mayor Whiskers sat in his lap, content, at least for the moment. Ezio idly petted the cat with one hand, not really paying much attention.
Morgyn smiled a little sadly, closing the door, and then moved over and set the tea down on the coffee table.
They had so much space in this house now, and Morgyn was still getting used to it. Ezio’s room alone had the space for his bed, a dresser, a seating area by the window, a fireplace… it was just like Spire, and it wasn’t anything like Spire at all. It was, perhaps, more like magic realm. And not. Ugh, now Morgyn was getting a headache.
Morgyn didn’t want to ask any stupid questions. Instead, the sage said nothing, settling down in one of the chairs near Ezio, in that blank space between his couch and the wall with his wheelchair parked. The age reached over and tok one of the teacups. Ezio looked over at the ginger, and then turned back to the window. It was a nice day out there, but the aura Ezio was giving off might cause the impression it was raining.
“Do you want to go outside later?” Morgyn asked quietly.
Ezio didn’t answer right away. Morgyn always got this strange, strong, sense of wrongness around him, but of course Ezio felt wrong. Of course he did. He’d just died for heaven’s sake, never mind everything else going on. It’d just take time. Time that, ultimately, they didn’t have with him, but they had to take anyway.
Morgyn took a sip of tea. The sage still didn’t do patience very well. But this was Ezio. Morgyn could do a lot of things the sage wasn’t terribly good at, if it was for Ezio.
“Yes,” Ezio answered after a few moments, just as softly. “By the water?”
“Of course,” Morgyn immediately replied. Then, Morgyn set the teacup down on the table, standing and kneeling on the floor beside Ezio’s chair. One hand reached up and took hold of Ezio’s. Mayor stood up and jumped off his lap.
Ezio looked down at the sage and snorted. “I know, I need to talk,” he said quietly.
If he knew it, then why wasn’t he doing it? Oh, Ezio. “Do you remember the promise I made you?” Morgyn asked.
“You’ve made a few over the years,” Ezio said. “I assume the one about listening?”
Morgyn nodded. “Yep, that one. I meant it.” And maybe Morgyn meant it even more now.
“I know,” Ezio said. Then, he bowed his head. When he looked back up, and out the window again, bits of his hair snagged on the edges of his glasses. “I just… wanted to dance again, someday. It was the last thing I still wanted. And now I won’t.”
Morgyn wasn’t sure what to say. Maybe there wasn’t anything that could be said to that at all. Instead, the ginger squeezed Ezio’s hand. It wasn’t enough, nothing was.
“Now I’m completely useless, anyway,” Ezio said, tilting his head. A few strands of black fell from his glasses. “I can’t do much of anything now.”
“What?” Morgyn asked. “Ezio no. No, you’re-” Yet, even in thinking the words, Morgyn knew they were pointless. That was how Ezio felt, now. He was stubborn. Nothing would change his mind. And as much as Morgyn hated to admit it, he was right. Everything he’d been doing before, everything he thought was his to help with, those things, he couldn’t do them anymore. Some of them, maybe someday, but not without great difficulty.
What must that feel like? Morgyn didn’t even need to wonder. The sting of tears came to the ginger’s eyes, as Morgyn reached up with the other hand, to rest it against Ezio’s cheek.
“You shouldn’t have done that,” Morgyn said softly. “You shouldn’t have taken that lightning bolt. Please, Ezio, don’t ever do something like that again.” He needed the reminders. He’d forget.
“I told you before,” Ezio said, his eyes suddenly focusing more than they had in several days, “if I had to, I’d do it again without a second thought.”
“I know,” Morgyn said. “That’s why I’m asking you not to. Please. For me?”
Ezio snorted. “There are many things I can do for you Morgyn,” he said, “but I don’t think that’s one.”
“Try,” Morgyn whispered. “Please try. I need you.”
“No, you don’t,” Ezio said. “You just think you do.”
“No, you don’t under-” Morgyn stopped, breathing in, clinging to Ezio’s hand. Morgyn’s emotions ran off very easily, and it took more effort than the sage had expected to reign them in, but that was what Ezio needed right now. And the ginger was afraid that, if Morgyn couldn’t reign them in, Ezio would just keep doing the things he did and making the choices he made, and those things and choices were killing him.
“Ezio, you’re wrong,” Morgyn said, calmer this time. “Of course I need you. I love you, you know that. You’re the other half of me. That hasn’t changed. And I would’ve never made it as far as I have without you. And I’m so… so sorry, that I need you this much, I really am. I wish I didn’t. Maybe if I didn’t… maybe you wouldn’t-” Morgyn paused, swallowed the tears. Now wasn’t the time to be getting emotional.
Ezio seemed to debate something, and then reached up and pulled Morgyn’s hand back down, very gently. Ezio was always so gentle with Morgyn anyway. But of course he was. Morgyn was Ezio’s most precious person, just like Ezio was Morgyn’s most precious person.
“I think I’ll have a nap,” Ezio said.
Morgyn recognised the tone. It was that ‘I’m done talking to you about this’ tone. Morgyn glanced down at the floor. This conversation was unfortunately far from over. Ezio knew that, probably, but also knew that Morgyn wouldn’t push him and press the issue, not now.
Troi had said he likely wouldn’t live to see the end of the year. His heart was unbelievably unstable now, there wasn’t anything for that. It was summer. In a few weeks, it’d be their birthday. Morgyn wished, just once, that Ezio could find some happiness somewhere. Before he…
“Okay,” Morgyn said quietly, and then stood up, taking the sage’s teacup and heading for the door.
“I will find them,” Ezio said suddenly, as Morgyn reached for the door handle. The ginger paused, glancing over one shoulder. Ezio was still staring out the window.
“Who?” Morgyn asked.
“The one that hurt you,” Ezio answered. “I will find them.”
Something about the way he said that, the tone, the slight snarl in his voice, sent shivers down Morgyn’s spine. “Don’t worry about that,” Morgyn said. There was no sense in lying. Ezio would see right through it. He always did.
Ezio didn’t say anything. He didn’t have to.
~*~
Softly, Morgyn closed Ezio’s bedroom door. Then, the sage sighed and dropped against the door with an audible thunk. That was a surprisingly tense conversation. That was probably to be expected, however. Mentally, Morgyn chewed over it, trying to make sense of why it had gone the way it had gone, and perhaps ways of preventing it from going that badly again.
Badly was the wrong word. Morgyn didn’t know what the right word was.
Ezio was a difficult creature to fathom, even for Morgyn. No, maybe especially for Morgyn, in many ways. There was always that tricksy thought in the back of Morgyn’s mind, that said the sage understood Ezio better than anyone. And yet, maybe that wasn’t so true anymore.
The thought was a scary one, but at the same time, Morgyn couldn’t expect anything else. Ezio had changed. So had Morgyn. And somewhere along the way, maybe they’d forgotten to keep getting to know each other. When one lived as long as they did, it was silly to rely on something staying true over the course of centuries.
Morgyn sensed the ghost’s presence. The sage was getting better at picking out ghost signatures, now that Morgyn had been exposed to them for a while. One green eye opened. Morgyn loosed a noise, and then shuffled down the hallway.
Melanie looked perplexed, but followed. “What’s with the grunt?” she asked.
“Let me ask you this,” Morgyn said, turning around in the hall as the sage went, walking backwards, “did it ever cross your mind, at any point, that maybe you ought to teach him to be your son, and not just my shield?”
Melanie simply blinked.
“I didn’t think so,” Morgyn said, eyes narrowing in annoyance. The sage turned back around.
“It wasn’t a problem back then,” Melanie reasoned.
Morgyn snorted. “Of course it wasn’t,” Morgyn said. “He hadn’t jumped in front of Jean Dussault to protect me yet. Or Tyler Carroway. Or that one guy, I forget his name. It doesn’t even matter what his name was. Jackson Reyes. Sarnai. A lightning bolt!”
“You’re upset, of course,” Melanie said diplomatically. “And it’s logical, but you know your brother is very stubborn. And you were young, Morgyn, we couldn’t watch you constantly. Ezio was much better at it.”
“I was a child, mom,” Morgyn said, stopping outside the kitchen and whirling around to face her. “And so was he! He was just as young as I was!”
“Morgyn-“
“No! Shut up!” Morgyn shrieked. One hand flicked toward the wall, but fortunately the air had only begun to heat up. “I’ve spent the last two hundred years undoing your mistakes, don’t you Morgyn me!”
Wisely, perhaps, Melanie went quiet. And Morgyn, realising then that the air was beginning to heat up, raised a hand to the ginger’s lips and focused on breathing. If nothing else, the stress could complicate things with the baby, and Morgyn had already decided to keep it.
After a long moment, Morgyn spoke again, very quietly. “I’ll tell you what,” Morgyn said, “when this baby is born, you do not say anything about how I’m raising it or the choices I make for it. I don’t want your advice or your criticism, or your opinions. Understand? Because there is not a damned thing you can teach me about how to love my child.”
“Morgyn, that’s not fair-” Melanie started.
“No, you want to know what’s not fair?” Morgyn interrupted. “This! This isn’t fair!” The sage gestured at Ezio’s bedroom door. “Do you have any idea how much Ezio wanted to dance again? He used to talk about it, when we still lived in magic realm. He’d learnt black tiger partially in hope that someday it’d make him strong enough to dance! Do you have any idea what he’s lost over the years? Don’t talk to me about fair.”
“You can’t blame all of this on your father and I,” Melanie argued.
“The hell I can’t,” Morgyn answered. Granted, the sage was well aware Melanie was simply an easy target right now, and Morgyn was pissed off. That, of course, was all semantics, and Morgyn didn’t deal in semantics when not enraged.
“You do at least have to admit that Aine had some role in this,” Melanie said.
Morgyn didn’t answer that with words, simply loosed an annoyed shriek and went into the kitchen. Yes, of course. Morgyn hadn’t forgotten that little detail, despite occasionally trying to.
Amusing, wasn’t it? If Morgyn hadn’t trusted her, Ezio perhaps wouldn’t be dying. But it was because Ezio was there that Morgyn had been able to trust her. Odd thought.
“What are you going to do about her, anyway?” Melanie asked, following the sage into the kitchen. She hopped up onto the counter islands, as if she were sitting on them, but given she was a ghost, it likely took some effort not to fall through them.
Truthfully, Morgyn didn’t know what to do with Aine. Aine was a problem that, so far, had taken a backburner.
“I know you would like to ignore her,” Melanie went on, “as you do, but unfortunately, the longer she is alive, the more likely it is that she will make attempts on Ezio’s life again. She’s about as stubborn as you two are. You know Sarnai’s back.”
Unfortunately. Though Sarnai had been keeping her distance since her return. Perhaps that fight in magic realm had made the vampire less interested in throwing herself at them again and hoping things went better. Morgyn wasn’t terribly interested in it either, so it was nice they were in agreement somehow.
Morgyn was also quite sure there was something Melanie knew that she wasn’t sharing. That feeling had been rather consistent during interaction with her, and Morgyn wanted to know what it was that she was inadvertently hiding. Morgyn wasn’t the necromancer Ezio was, that was for sure, so if the sage was going to get an answer here, it’d have to be in the way Morgyn was least effective: any way but directly.
“I know,” Morgyn said, leaning against the counter with both hands. “But she is a complication I really don’t know what to do with, and have no interest in thinking about.”
“I’m sure,” Melanie said. “But, sweetie, I don’t think you’ll have a choice in the matter.”
There it was again.
That whole ‘you don’t have a choice’ situation. Morgyn was about sick of not having a choice. Morgyn was also sick of losing Ezio. Of being stuck with crappy decisions with crappy outcomes. Of watching Ezio lose and break apart, and being powerless to stop it.
What was the point, precisely, of having all this power, if when it mattered the most…
Morgyn had vowed, the moment Ezio had come back, the sage was not losing him again. Morgyn had dived headlong into researching the Duplicato spell and its varying applications. The thought was that perhaps if the sage could create a Duplicato without any kind of sentience, Ethren could essentially move Ezio’s soul from one to the other. The Duplicato would have Morgyn’s physical traits, no heart condition, full use of limbs, it would be a bit like an incidental reset.
Except that there was absolutely no reason to believe that a spell could last very long, either. Typically, a Duplicato was there and then gone within a few hours. Morgyn’s were powerful enough to last a few weeks, at least, the longest had made it about a month and a half, but it still wasn’t a level of permanence. Certainly, it wasn’t the level of permanence that Morgyn was looking for.
The other option was to attempt some form of time manipulation in a specific space. But that got into magics that were obscure and little known since the dawn of the All, probably more along the lines of things Liberty would know more about than Morgyn.
What to do with Aine, indeed.
“I’ll worry about that when I come to it,” Morgyn said.
“You can’t hide from this,” Melanie warned.
Morgyn snorted. Then, the sage raised a hand. “For the sake of her children,” Morgyn said, turning around to look at Melanie, “I hope Makana made better choices as a mother than Melanie ever did.”
Melanie blinked, but Morgyn didn’t stay, casting Homewardial. There were a few books to go through in magic realm still, but Morgyn was a little closer to saving Ezio, both from his own mortality, and his own choices.
~*~
He’d heard it, of course.
Morgyn had this interesting habit of shouting quite loudly. Ezio’s anger tended to go the opposite way, and run cold, but Morgyn was every bit as explosive as the sage’s main element tended to be. It was unsurprising. At least, it was unsurprising to Ezio.
Still, Ezio had no interest in thinking about that. Interesting that Morgyn had contact with Melanie and Ezio didn’t, but he supposed that made sense, too. Their parents always showed favour to Morgyn, and of course they did. Morgyn was their actual child, not him. He’d never had any stray ideas that someday they could’ve loved him the same way.
Everyone knew Duplicatos faded, eventually. And Ezio should’ve, too. So what kind of monster was he that he hadn’t?
Funny, when he’d forgotten that he was a spell, he’d mostly forgotten Morgyn’s parents, too. They didn’t terribly matter, anyway, he supposed, at least not to him. Most of the time though, it seemed Morgyn didn’t really remember them either. Being fair about it, they’d lost them very young. It likely wasn’t surprising that neither recalled them much.
Morgyn had gone wherever it was that Morgyn had gone. Ezio still wanted to go outside, down there by the water. There was no point in it, really. Ezio couldn’t swim before, and certainly couldn’t now. Off-hand, Ezio wasn’t sure where Drake or Cassandra were. Caleb was supposed to be here somewhere too, by now, but Ezio knew where he was even less.
It couldn’t be that difficult. And besides, Ezio would need to figure out how to do this on his own eventually. No time like the present.
That thought in mind, Ezio moved the wheelchair across the room. It took some work and a couple wrong turns, but he got his leg brace on. He didn’t think the chair would roll very well in the grass or the sand, so he was going to walk.
After all those hours of physical therapy, he figured it would amount to something. Yet, when he parked his chair and stood up, Ezio just about fell right back down. Turned out walking was a little trickier without the bars. Now it was just the principle of the thing more than anything else. It was more that he wanted to prove to himself that he could do it. Of course he could. Ezio had taken down worse than walking down the hallway.
It was slow progress. The walls all had handrails bolted into them, and he kept one hand on them. Of course there were no handrails outside, so he’d need to be able to make it to the water without them. It’d be best if he took this one step at a time, he figured. His eyebrows furrowed together, concentrating on making it down the hallway. The brace made strange clanking noises along the way. He’d have to get used to that.
A few minutes later, he slipped, and hit the floor rather hard on one leg. Ezio wasn’t sure what he’d done wrong, but maybe he hadn’t done anything wrong at all. For a short moment he was silent, and then a pained hiss escaped. Ezio curled up right where he’d landed, and stayed there.
Now he had to get back up. He glanced up at the handrails, reached up with one hand, and started to pull himself back up. Pain shot down his leg and he yelped and let go. Maybe he’d landed wrong. He’d give it a few minutes.
Yet, no matter how long he waited, he never did get back up. Someone would come this way, eventually. In the meantime, Ezio got comfortable (as comfortable as one could) against the wall, and wondered what it was Morgyn had done in some past life to make Ezio deserve this. Did it work that way? Ezio honestly didn’t know.
Occasionally, Ezio wondered if he should tell Morgyn that he was a spell. But sometimes he had a hard time handling it himself, and would much rather pretend it wasn’t a thing. Drake said that it didn’t change anything, but it felt like it changed everything. He was made for a reason.
Maybe that was why he was dying. Because that reason didn’t exist anymore. Ezio always had believed Morgyn didn’t need him as much as the idiot insisted. Maybe Drake did, but unfortunately, Drake wasn’t the one sustaining him.
There was a meowing sound, as Mayor Whiskers came over to him. Ezio smiled a little, raising his hand to pet him, but Mayor turned and ran away from him. Eh. Mayor was acting weird around him occasionally now, and Ezio was getting used to it. It still stung a little, though.
It was quiet again. These days, Ezio had so much to think about that it being quiet wasn’t so much of a bad thing. It didn’t smell or sound like home yet, but eventually, it would. Ezio just wanted to go home, wherever that was now. Whatever that meant now.
Then, he heard footsteps, and Mayor’s meowing became louder again. Ezio looked up, finding Caleb walking towards him, Mayor at his feet, some sort of expression on his face that Ezio couldn’t make heads or tails of. That was normal anymore. Caleb was often looking at him in a way Ezio couldn’t make sense of.
“Where were you going?” Caleb asked.
“Outside,” Ezio answered. “I wanted to go to the water. But it’s fine.”
“No, we’ll go,” Caleb said. “It’s not a problem. It might be best if I carried you, though.”
Ezio didn’t look terribly pleased about that. But then, Caleb was right, and either he’d have to carry him, or he’d have to be support in some other way. Ezio wasn’t having a lot of luck getting up on his own, after all.
Ezio decided not to argue, reaching up for Caleb. Caleb looked surprised for a moment, then took Ezio’s hands and pulled him up. He was still a little unsteady, but then he started down the hallway. He only made it a few steps before he fell again. Caleb pulled him back up, and then hooked his arm behind Ezio’s knees and picked him up.
“I thought I could do it,” Ezio said, laying his head on Caleb’s shoulder backwards, and watching the wall.
Caleb glanced down at him, then shrugged the shoulder Ezio wasn’t laying on. “It was worth an attempt,” he said.
Ezio raised an eyebrow. “Was it really?” he asked.
“Of course,” Caleb said. “You’ll never know what you can do if you don’t try to do it.”
That sounded like something Lilith had said. Ezio snorted, turning around a little and resting his head on Caleb’s shoulder properly. “Where’d you hear that?” he asked.
Caleb glanced down at him again, surprise on his face. “You don’t remember?” he asked.
“No?” Was he supposed to?
“You,” Caleb said. “You said it, a few years ago.”
Ezio’s first thought was that he couldn’t have said something so smart-sounding. His second thought was that Caleb couldn’t possibly have remembered it.
Yet, when Ezio looked up at him, as Caleb sat him down on the beach, Ezio didn’t think he was lying.
He breathed out, burying his hands in the sand under him. The sound of the waves was even more calming up close.
“Ezio…” Caleb started, but he trailed off after a moment.
Ezio looked up at him, and tilted his head.
Caleb turned an interesting shade of pink at the tips of his ears. “I forgot now,” he said. “I can go back in, if you want to be alone.”
“Please,” Ezio answered, looking back out across the water. He often did want to be left alone, now.
“Okay,” Caleb said. “Hey, um, so when you’re ready to come back in, or you need something just uh… just whistle, okay?”
Ezio looked back up at him and raised an eyebrow.
“I mean, it’s something I’ll hear, isn’t too straining to manage, yeah?” Caleb asked. “And nobody really whistles randomly.”
Ezio’s eyebrow raised a little higher. “We’re in Brindleton Bay now,” he said. “Most people here have dogs.”
“Oh… right,” Caleb said. “… well I’ll know when it’s you.”
If he said so. “Okay then,” Ezio said, nodding. “I will then.”
“Okay. So I’ll be in there then,” Caleb said, and then he turned that way and went back inside.
Ezio turned back towards the water. Everyone had changed and adjusted around him. Everyone was a little different, now. Everything was a little different now.
His hands dug into the sand again, a little more aggressively. Ezio hated it.
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